Hell Already Broke Loose Here
by MagicMagie
Summary: Have you ever wondered what happens when a genius Izuku is bored and lacks ethics? Well, instead of becoming a hero, he becomes a vigilante and the youngest mafia boss because why not! (Quirkless!Izuku)
1. Chapter 1

I am pretty sure that everyone, at one point in his or her life, has heard the phrase 'be your own hero.' Well, at least if you read sappy books, you would have, especially the pre-quirk books. Typically, this means that you have to take care of yourself, or you get yourself out of a bad situation.

Of course, with how times are, this phrase can be thrown out of the window for two reasons.

The first is obvious: A hero is an occupation you can go into. It is a job.

The second only applies to me: I'm pretty fucking sure that when that person came up with that phrase, they didn't mean for me to go around at two in the morning beating up assholes while running a mafia illegally.

Now that should have caught your attention.

Hello, bitches! I'm Izuku Midoriya, or Virus to the public, Japan's number one most wanted vigilante and youngest Yakuza boss of the group Mafia at 14.

Before I forget, fuck the police for calling my Mafia a yakuza. I think calling my group a Mafia is more refreshing, but will they accept that?

No! No, they won't! They refer to the Japanese name. I guess the police have more important things to worry about than a name. Oh, extra information for you all: I know a lot of American and English shit because my dad left me for America, and I tried to learn something from there so that we can talk about something. He never did come back.

I need to get back on topic. Sorry, I'm an easily distractable person. You probably have a lot of questions and don't worry! I will answer some of them through my explanation!

Let's start with the basics: Welcome to the world of quirks, aka, superpowers! These quirks can range from being a genius to be able to change the size of your pee-pee! If you can imagine it, someone probably has it! There are no limitations there. About 80% of the population has a quirk. The rest are 'quirkless,' meaning they are pieces of shit as they are the inferior.

Before you call me out for discrimination, I am quirkless, so it's okay. I'm just informing you of the way things are. Continuing, I'm willing to guess that 95% of the quirkless population is elderly as I have never met another quirkless person my age. Don't I feel special?

With the rise of quirks came the rise of heroes and villains into society. As a villain, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It is basically a cooler name for a criminal. However, to become a hero, you have to go to a hero school. Then, you have to get a provisional license to be able to use your quirk to help legally as it's illegal to use your quirk in public.

Doesn't that put a twist on the word heroes?

Of course, we can't forget about the middle line I fall under, which is vigilantes!

Vigilantes are a mixture of both. They do whatever the fuck they want, but they do the job of heroes sometimes. It really depends on their beliefs. The primary law they break is the quirk law that states that you can't use your quirk in public. Then we have me, a quirkless person. Based on that rule, what I do is technically legal if you ignore everything else. However, with the shit I pull, I'm surprised that I am not put as a villain. Let me give you an idea.

_Shit I Do to Get in Trouble List_

_1\. Hacking the government (Probably the main reason I am wanted. I know shit I shouldn't know.)_

_2\. Illegal equipment (I promise that metal gauntlets with claws that produce electricity to the point of knocking someone out is necessary.)_

_3\. Disrespecting authority (Honestly, I should be paid for insulting Endeavor (trash hero) at this point. "My electricity burns hotter than you, and I can keep a woman, you abusive bitch.")_

_4\. Inappropriate behavior (I call bullshit on that.)_

_5\. Noise Disturbance (I was doing to the pledge for the city. "You was at the club, bottoms up when I first met you.")_

The list can go on. However, I'm sure you want actual story progress.

I'm walking around Musutafu as, through my illegal connections, I have heard that there is supposed to be a villain attack. I should be at school, but due to being a genius, I graduated from college a couple of years ago with too many degrees to count. That's what boredom leads you to. It also guides you starting a mafia full of vigilantes and other things that I will reveal later.

With my horrible social status, I had to disguise myself, so my real self won't get arrested. I have a life outside of Virus. Currently, I have a black wig that covers my left eye that looks emo as fuck. Then, I have red contacts in and a black medical mask to hide my cute face. I'm wearing all black of a button-up long-sleeve, gloves, and skinny jeans. The only other color is my obnoxious red shoes, but they have shock-absorbent, so whatever works! Sure, it's hot but better than be caught and put in a dirty prison cell.

I don't mind the cell before you ask. I care about the dirt and germs in the cell.

A scream interrupts my thoughts, and, unlike most logical people, I run towards it. I avoid bashing into people as I find the scene: some alive DIY slime by chased by All Might.

WAIT, ALL MIGHT!? WHEN THE FUCK DID HE COME INTO TOWN!?

All Might is the number one hero, the Symbol of Peace. That puts a damper on my plans. In the shape I am in, I am not prepared to outrun All Might of all people. For fuck sakes, when he jumps, he leaves a damn crater and can go over buildings! I'm fast, but I look like a Volkswagon Beetle next to a Bugatti!

Wait, doesn't he have a time limit? I know I'm not supposed to know that, but he does, right? It's so obvious if you look over the years of his work because it has been decreasing.

I follow behind them, watching as a legal civilian should. I continue to stalk until the slime goes into the sewers.

That's disgusting. I almost stop my mission right there and call someone else to do it, but I don't. I mean, All Might could do it, but I don't want to push his supposed time limit. All Might is a substantial social figure, but I noticed how he always throws himself in the way. It's disappointing? I can't describe it. He gives the wrong idea of what a hero should be. He's too self-sacrificing.

Someone's probably going to call me out on saying that, but think of it like this; against no other choice, if it were between a person and All Might, I would choose All Might. He can save more lives and is an overall, more significant benefit to society. Most people think at that moment. What people should do is think of the interest in the future. It sucks emotionally but makes sense logically.

I pull out my phone and look through the illegal maps of the sewers. With so many different ways Slimer can go, my best choice is to wait for the slime to pop out. I can guess he is going to the outsides of the city.

I better move.

* * *

Later that day, I have the clouds to watch and find shapes with. During the day, I get to watch citizens wander around from the roofs. If I am lucky, there is a street fight. Those get fun to watch. Today is a dull day, though. Most vigilantes tend to work at night in the shadows. Obviously, I work whenever the fuck I want because I run on food and water, not sleep. The only problem is that, during the day, I can't wear my regular clothes and gear. It would stand out too much. I have to look like someone not about to sass the police.

I feel like something should have happened by now.

**BOOM!**

There we go! I jump the roofs to the location to find the slime has become a fire slime. A for effort slime community. F for not creating a nice one. Of course, people are watching the scene, but the disappointing part is the damn heroes are watching as well!

Like, ahem! Get to work! Chop chop! You don't need your damn quirks! My main question is, why the fuck is the slime not moving? I would suspect it to run. After a quick look, I see why. It has someone in its sludge. Does that mean it can take over bodies? That's what it is pointing to. However, the amusing part is I know this person.

Bakugo Katsuki. My bully when I was still in school. Everyone bullied me, but he was the main one because he had the most potent quirk. His hands produce nitroglycerin, allowing him to create explosions. Those explosions are going off now in an attempt to get the sludge off but to no avail. If anything, they are preventing the heroes from getting close.

I almost want to leave him in there. You know, Karma. However, I was raised with two percent of manners, so I know better. Groaning, I hop from the roof, making sure to do a flip before I land in front of the slime, my shoes taking the shock. I already hear the media going off with the new news.

"Who are you, brat? Going to try and save your buddy here?" The slime taunts. I grin under my mask. This is going to be fun. I pull out my only defense, a pocket knife, and start the act.

"I feel so offended! You don't recognize me?! Oh, the agony!" I dramatize. I can sense the tension in the air.

One of the heroes, Death Arms, I believe, exclaims, " Virus!"

"OH, AT LEAST SOMEONE RECOGNIZES ME! Now, you should know how I work. Heard me around. Let him go."

The sludge thing has the nerve to laugh at me, " Why should I listen to you?! You have no way of beating me!"

I chuckle darkly, bringing my aura up, **"However, I have a way of making you blind. You're eyes and mouth are solid, yes? You should know that I don't hesitate. Now, let the boy go."**

Huh, so a slime can shiver. Bakugo is dropped from the sludge, and one of the heroes grab him to get him out of the scene. I let up the aura — wrong move. I jump back to avoid some slime getting on me.

"I may not be able to fight with him, but I can fight you one-on-one!" The slime tries to convince itself.

**"Really? Turn yourself over to the police. I'm giving you five seconds unless you want never to see again."**

I lift it again, and something unsuspected happens.

All Might jumps in front of me and uses his strength to slip the slime apart. He didn't even give him a chance to consider it! He punched him straight in the face! Hell, the place even starts raining because of it!

I chuckle, " Nice to see you up close, especially your ass since you're so tall, but I have shit to do like eating. I haven't eaten in two hours!" I dash without hesitation, ignoring the heroes and hopping over some branches. However, one is easily able to keep up with me. After slipping through some alleyways, I stop and turn around to see All Might. I grin, something he can't see.

"Knew you would follow me. I already know of your true form, so stop wasting time and switch, Yagi."

Okay, maybe that isn't the best way to start a conversation because the skeleton in front of me is coughing up blood.

Ew.

* * *

Edited 3/29/2020


	2. Chapter 2

Previously in 'My Fucking Life'!

_"Knew you would follow me. I already know of your true form, so stop wasting time and switch, Yagi."_

_Okay, maybe that isn't the best way to start a conversation because the skeleton in front of me is coughing up blood._

_Ew._

Now back to reality!

* * *

Something tells me I should be helping All Might's depression form. Whether it be the blood coming out of his mouth or how underweight he is, I don't know. If I saw this man on the street, I would have thought he was a homeless drug addict addicted to every drug possible you can come across because he looks like shit.

Either way, we don't need the Symbol of Peace dying on us. I don't even know how to explain that: Oh yeah, he died because depression and blood took over his entire being, and I wasn't involved in killing him. That won't pan out well.

Taking a deep breath, I attempt to be friendly," Sir, do I need to call 911? You look like you're dying, and I don't want another death on my record when I didn't cause it for once."

What? I said attempt. Apparently, the attempt was trash because he's coughing up more blood. Fuck me.

"I-I'm fine! This is normal!" All Might/Yagi tries to inform me.

"Dumbass, I have a Ph.D. in the medical field along with other shit; That isn't normal unless you're a woman, and even then, you're in the wrong place. Try again." He looks at me with shock. Has nobody ever spoken to him in this manner? It takes a moment for him to recover.

"It's from an injury five years ago..."

"I forgot about that. I won't say what it is because I don't want you to freak it out, but I will say I know the cover-up. It destroyed a good bit of your organs, though, yes?"

"How do you know so much?" Yagi observes me. He may look stupid, but he is smart. I think.

"I am Virus! I hack shit for a living! What do you expect? That's why I know that Japan is trying to get rid of Trump, not that I blame them, but still!"

"Why are you talking to me? Aren't you risking your chances of running?"

"That isn't such a big deal. If they catch me, I can break out within three days. However, being the number one hero and the 'Symbol of Peace,' I believe what I have to discuss with you is more vital." As I go on with whatever bullshit I am talking, I pull out my phone and set up what I call the 'media force field.' It screws with electronics within 50 feet (15.24 meters) of me. It's rather useful when you're consistently toying with the law.

"Alright?"

"Since it seems like you're listening to nobody or nobody is telling you, I'm hoping you will listen to your friendly neighborhood vigilante. You need to lighten up your workload before you get yourself killed." Yes, I can attempt to care about people, but there is more to it.

"I'm willing to make that sacrifice when it comes to protecting the people." Have I talked about how heroes are too self-sacrificing?

"Let's word it like this: the country is relying on you too much. You are like a huge pillar supporting this island. There are other pillars around, but they aren't much help when it comes to holding the island. The moment you fall, the island is going to land on them and crush them. Ease off of hero work. I don't know what your plans are, but you need to back off and let the other heroes start taking over. Get them used to it. Baby steps. If you were to fall tomorrow, the country would be in shambles." This whole time, I'm animating it with my hands to make it as dramatic as possible. It takes a couple of minutes for Yagi to process it.

Eventually, he breaks the silence, " Am I ruining the next generation by being a Symbol of Peace?"

"The Symbol of Peace model was supposed to be a temporary model. It was there to give everybody a chance to clean up. It's just a failure to come up with a good system to take over. Interesting how human nature works, huh? We always learn to rely upon, but most don't fight for freedom. We are some lazy bitches." The last statement gets him to cough up some more blood, but he settles down quickly.

"Noone's ever explained it to me like that, Young Virus. Most always said to stay healthy so that I can stay on the field as long as possible. There are some compassionate people here and there, but most are like that. Why are you telling me this?" I have to stop myself from laughing at the 'Young Virus' part.

"As much as I like drama, I rather not see Japan crumble to something so simplistic. I want a nuclear war. Might as well go all out!" How much blood can a man cough up?

"Anything else?"

"I mean, I could tell you how you are putting the uses of your power to fucking shame because there are so many ways to use - " Suddenly, my phone goes off. I guess someone wanted pity on Yagi. I answer, " What's shaking, hot stuff?"

_"Don't ever call me that again unless you want to be steamed."_

"Burn me, daddy," I purr as I walk away from Yagi, completely ignoring the man's commands to come back. Like, bitch, I have shit to do! I can lose him easily anyway.

_"There is something wrong with you."_

"Yeah, I'm horny. What did you call me for?"

_"You're fucking asexual. Anyway, your favorite man is coming within an hour." _I start running at the sound of that.

"COLONEL SANDERS?! I AM ON MY WAY! OFFER HIM THE WHOLE FUCKING STORE WITH MY BODY!"

_"No, you dumbass. You rarely even eat there. It's Eraserhead." _I slow down tremendously.

"Fuck me, Bambi's mother. How did he call for me?"

_"Izuku."_ Fuck. If he's calling me by my actual name, he is salty about something.

"Um, tell him I have a client to fuck within an hour."

_"You tried that excuse before, and it failed on you. Get it over with, you pussy."_

"Fuuuuuuuuuck. Fine. Later." I hang up, not caring for the response. I will explain who the man is when we meet along with the man I was talking about.

I have to keep surprises, you know? Now, I deny you want to be here for the whole walk.

Time skip, bitches!

* * *

Alright, we are at the location: Walmart. More specifically, my Walmart!

Yes, you read that right. I own a Walmart! See what I mean by having too much free time? Don't go saying that I'm an idiot killing myself because life is doing that for me. The Walmart is a cover-up for the Mafia that is underneath the store.

Obviously, I can't walk in the store and be like, 'Hi! Yeah, I'm totally not that kid who stopped a villain attack while the other heroes sat around like they were waiting to get fuck.'

Wouldn't work out so hot.

I walk in around the back, make sure none of my workers are nearby; then, I move a trashcan and jump down a hole into the large opening of the Mafia location! We have plenty down here, ranging from training grounds to homing to freaking food! Oh, and you will never be alone because we have over 50 people here! That doesn't include the other bitches outside of here. They aren't always here, but there is still someone here.

Are they forced here by their lives? Of course! But hey, we pay them something for them! They just can never back out!

Anyway, back to reality!

"Izu-kun!" A female voice screeches. The moment I land, I get tackled to the ground, and I feel a knife to my neck. Perfectly normal.

"God damn, let me up, you bimbo!"

"Nope! You did something stupid! Mom will be down on you in a moment."

"I had it under control. We all knew I was going to do it!"

A cocky male voice breaks the argument, " You could attempt this thing called self-control."

"I mean, I could. I just won't."

"Dumbass." I look up, seeing blondie vampire on top of me and emo scarface nearby. Toga Himiko and Dabi: My two righthand man and woman. They came from rough lives. I saw them on the streets when I first became a vigilante, and they became the first two people to join my Mafia.

Before you ask, yes, I have fucking sympathy and a little bit of empathy. We are given too long of a life for a reason. Let's start with the explanations!

Toga Himiko is a psychotic vampire that continually dresses like a schoolgirl. She always has her blonde hair tied into two buns on each side of her head. She has a teenage face because she is a teenager with bright yellow eyes and fangs. She is an overall small figure, but damn she can pack a punch. Well, more like a knife to the gut as that is her primary weapon.

Himiko's quirk is a good reason she is here: Transform. If she drinks her victim's blood, she can become them. This is rather useful if we need to sneak in places to get someone. However, drinking blood for a quirk is not a good thing in society. Moving forward. Finally, Toga is my most common fighting partner if I am going to need one as we are both close-combat. Overall, she is an upbeat character in this hell!

Dabi is the opposite of Himiko. Male, spikey black hair, blue eyes, and looks like your emo friend who never outgrew the phase. The thing that makes him stand out is his skin. The skin under his eyes, his cheekbones down to his upper chest, and his arms to his elbows are all purple scar tissue held with staples. Don't ask me how that works. It just does.

Anyway, the reason for his skin is his quirk cremation: he can produce blue flames that can easily incinerate someone within seconds. And they say that doing so is a crime, yet they do it all the time legally?

I am calling bullshit on that shit. Anyway, Dabi is the one who gets rid of bodies for us...not that we kill often. We only kill if needed, whether it be because they are an asshole, it was a bad day, or for cannibalism. He is my range fighter, but he has been trained at short range as well.

With that bullshit out of the way, let's continue!

"I'm well aware that I am a dumbass. Now, how much time do I have to get ready?" I ask. I don't keep track of time.

"Ten minutes," Dabi informs me.

"You kidding me? I know I got lost, but hot damn!"

"You're an idiot."

"I happen to be a certified genius."

"Yet, you get lost three times a day."

"I have to have my downfalls!"

"Nine minutes to get ready."

"FUCK!" I throw Himiko off of me literally and run to my room, making sure that I avoid Mom. She would distract me more. Once I am in my room, I go to the bathroom to rip off my wig, contacts, and mask.

Time for the reveal of who I am!

Despite having murdered people in the past, I am a rather cute boy. I have fluffy green curls with green eyes to match. I have a babyface that hasn't started growing a beard but is instead decorated with freckles. I don't like wearing all black like I am now. I throw my funeral clothes in the laundry in exchange for some high-waist jeans, hot pink boots that go up to my knees, and a tucked t-shirt that says 'dress shirt' on it. Overall, I'm a buff boy with some cuteness mixed in.

God did well on me. Now, if he only didn't forget the quirk. Maybe he did that on purpose to get rid of me faster. Well, he can go fuck himself because I have survived this long in the hunger games.

Dressing took longer than expected as I have two minutes to make it to my office. Don't worry; I have a solution! Run as fast as possible! I zoom through the base to climb the ladder, run into Walmart, and slam my body into my office door. I hip-hoppity over my desk and fall into my chair with a grin.

Now, it's time to do some legal work, but let me explain! Even though I am a vigilante, I'm also on the police force as a detective. I can't do shit due to my age, but I can give them solutions and hope they follow through. If not, I do it myself. That's why the Mafia can get so much done. We have people on both sides for information. It is also why they haven't figured out who I am as a vigilante. I mean, Eraserhead suspects it's me, but he has no solid proof. All he has is shitty speculation.

_Knock Knock_

Speaking of the man, I sing, "COME IN!" My office door opens, revealing a hobo. Don't be fooled though; this hobo is a hero!

No, I haven't been drinking. I'm telling the truth.

Eraserhead is an interesting hero, well, an underground hero. This means he gets away with more shit, and nobody knows about him. He's typically assigned to vigilante cases and any other harsh circumstances you can think of. That's also why he looks like shit. He doesn't need to look suitable for villains.

Eraserhead always looks tired because he is a night hero and a teacher (don't ask how that works), and he doesn't put an amount into his appearance. He has long, messy black hair that goes a little past his shoulders, Gucci eye bags, and scuffle all around his chin that is attempting and failing to be a beard. Around his neck, his weapon, a long grey scarf, hangs and looks normal for emo. He wears a black bodysuit with a black belt, boots, and sleeves that need to be fucking repaired because strings are coming off of it.

Eraserhead's quirk is probably one of my favorites called Erasure. When looking at someone, it erases their quirk. While he does it, his hair rises with his scarf and allows him to control it. However, he can't remove mutation type quirks. Don't worry, people with tails; you are safe!

Oh, and he looks salty. Shit, what did I do?

Well, I attempt to make conversation, " You look like a bag of pretzels. What's up?" I tried. Eraserhead sighs as he moves to the seat at my desk and sits down. At hand, he slams a pile of files on my desk.

"I assume you saw what Virus did?" He asks. Straight to it? Alright.

"Yip yip! I'm surprised he didn't shit-talk the heroes there. Guess he had higher priorities." I'm disappointed with myself, but I have to worry about the old man.

"Yeah yeah, did you learn anything?"

"Villains fear him."

Another sigh, " We already know that."

"Uh, nothing new is revealed besides admitting live that he has injured and possibly killed some people. Do you have any other cases? I have the ones already completed from yesterday." I slide them over to him, and he opens them up to read over them. Oh, did I mention he knows everything about Virus? The problem for him is that I can adapt quickly, so take that, Eraserhead!

"Do you ever take a break, kid?" Oh, now he worries?

"Fuck no. Do you ever eat or sleep? Fuck no. You need to take care of yourself, dumbass."

"Maybe if you just reveal that you are Virus, I could." If only he knew he was standing on top of the Mafia base.

"No proof, Eraser. You seriously need a housewife, man." This is our weird relationship. We worry about each other, yet we start this shit.

"Don't bring that up here."

"I'm just trying to help you."

"You already know how to help. Do you have anything else before I need to leave? I rather nap than deal with you."

"I feel insulted! However, I have nothing for you."

"Fine." He gets up and starts to leave.

"Bye, Eraser!" I get a growl in return! What a rude man! Even after everything I did!

I scream at him, "GO MASTURBATE WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOU GRUMPY ASS MAN!"

I get no return on that. Hopefully, Eraser follows my advice.

What? It's a natural part of life!

* * *

Edited 3/30/2020


	3. Chapter 3

"Izuku." Oh shit. I turn around to face a woman that looks similar to me except she doesn't have freckles, a feminine body, and long-straight green hair in a bun. I give her my brightest smile as I walk backward.

"Hi, Mom! What wonderful weather we have today, huh?! Too bad, I'm needed! I will talk to you soon-"

"Izuku Midoriya, you do not walk away from your mother when she is speaking to you, especially to avoid a scolding." You know, I have killed people. I have faced some seemingly scary people and didn't feel a drop of fear. The only reason I know fear is because of two things - Mom and germs. I don't know which is worst.

"Moooooom!" I whine as I walk back over to her.

"No momming me! Now, what did you do wrong?" I have had this talk so many times, and I still have no idea why it's wrong. I get that probably being mentally insane has something to do with that, but come on!

"Going out in public as Virus is a bad idea, I know, I know." Before you ask, yes, Mom knows about the whole mafia. She's our medic for the sha-bang. Did she approve it at first? Of course not! The reason she found out is that I told her so casually. Now, before you say that she should be stopping me, she has tried to. However, after much rebellion and her seeing the benefits, Mom decided to join because she can't stop me. I do whatever the fuck I want. I'm a fucking genius who can avoid the law! The best she can do is make sure I don't die.

"Yet, you still do it? I get that you struggle with social logic, but some things you don't need to know. You just accept it, sweetheart," Mom informs me with her arms crossed.

"That sounds fucking boring."

"Do you want to know what else will be boring? Nappy time."

"NOOOOOOOOOO! NO NAPPY!" Call me a fucking child, but I don't sleep. Well, I do. I sleep for an hour every two days. Not healthy, but I'm overdosed on energy over here. I blame God for that.

I blame God for everything wrong in my life, though mainly for forgetting my fucking quirk. He had everything else down from mentality to looks! He just forgot the damn quirk! I get that I would be OP, but come on! You made fucking All Might OP! I know it isn't his quirk, but that's close enough! Anyway, we need to get back to Mom.

Mom comes close to me before reaching her hand in my hair pets me gently. NO, MY THIRD WEAKNESS! "Shh...sleep..." Mom whispers.

Just like that, I drop into her arms like a wet noodle.

Someone is going to make a joke about my comparison, so I'm going to make everyone's life easier and do it for you.

What's my preference, you may be asking?

Well, I'm straight as spaghetti! That is until it gets

**Hot and Wet.**

Seriously, I'm asexual. Thanks, Papyrus, for that wonderful phrase I will forever spam in my life!

* * *

After a damn nap, I get to work on those cases Eraserhead gave me for a couple of hours. Most of the time, I look over everything and add any information I can. This means the information I shouldn't have, such as from the villains themselves. I have my connections. I'm a fucking mafia boss for fuck sakes! If I didn't have links, I would be dead by now!

I will tell you something about those cases: they are as dull and painful as waiting in the line for food. Not that I ever do that because I cook my family's diet because of trust issues. I do anything to prevent getting sick, but I digress.

I want action. I want to beat the shit out of people like the unstable little thot that I am, and that's precisely what is going to happen! This is especially true as I heard there is a new Yakuza on the block.

Obviously, I need to go fuck them up. The Yakuza has been here for a couple of months, but I can't go in without a plan. With the rise of the crime rate in the area, I believe that they are involved. Thankfully, I'm in every case in the world, so I have some of the information needed. However, a majority of the little info came from info-brokers after I threatened them with everything I knew. And here I am wondering why everyone is after me.

Unfornitually, there isn't a whole lot on it currently besides it's the Shie Hassaikai. This group went down in popularity since All Might and All for One became a thing. It looks like they are trying to come back like a clothing trend. However, based on the places that have been sacked, they are after supplies at the moment. If we can knock them out now, we will have fewer problems for the future.

With the lack of information, I did my own searching. After figuring out the Yakuza's location a month ago, I dropped off some cockroach robots (and when I say I, I mean Dabi because cockroaches are disgusting no matter if they are robots) and let them roam. I am not happy with the results. I got the answers I needed, but I need to go in there.

You see, depending on the case, I will either hand it over to the police or deal with it myself as Virus. If I believe that sending the cops in will cause too much trouble, I will go in. That's how I determine that jazz.

I don't trust them with this. Not only do we need to knock the assholes off, but we need to save someone. I can't risk anything. That's why I got the whole squad here! When I mean by that is, I get my OP besties together to beat ass!

Not with dick before you ask.

Now before I can introduce them, I need to reintroduce myself as Virus. No, I usually don't go around with make-up and a tux no matter how much I wish I can. I have an actual vigilante costume.

Remember that wig and contacts? Put those back on, except the contacts will be useless because I wear an all-black mask that looks like Jason's kind of except for the eyeholes that have clear glass. This isn't an ordinary mask. I have a whole system in it. It can filter gases, change my voice into a deep sexy voice, and, most importantly, it has a computer chip in it. I may or may nor be a genius enough to have a whole program that lets me ruin the world in it.

Shh. Now onto the actual outfit.

Starting from the torso, we have a black t-shirt hiding a bullet-proof vest underneath. On top of that, unzipped is a short-sleeved black jacket with a hood in case it rains. Flipping to the back, the obvious thing you can see is a bookbag with a bunch of junk. If you look carefully, you can see katanas poking out like an erection. I rarely use them, but I use them bitches well.

Moving to my arms, I have metal gloves that go just above my elbows. As you look down the metal material, you can see that my gloves are claws. Sharp-ass claws. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL BECAUSE I'M SO MOTHER FUCKING EXTRA THAT I NEED 10 KINDS OF CHEESES INSTEAD OF FOUR!

That might be because I'm a hoe for food. SHUT UP, IZUKU, WE ARE GETTING DISTRACTED!

Back on topic, the gloves can electrocute people when I touch them. It's adjustable, so I can either tickle them, knock them out, or kill them. Then, if they start running from karma, I can shoot the claws five feet (1.5 meters) and either wrap them around a limb, shock them, or stab them and electrocute. Either way, they are being tasered. The claws are what I am known for, man! I'm a close-combatant, after all. The only problem is that I hate cleaning them after I get blood on them.

Onto the legs, it's merely black jeans with black steel-toed combat boots that go above my knees that give more support. Oh, and I can knee people in the nuts for extra damage. It's the same with the elbows.

With that description, you should want to avoid me. Okay, we got something done in this chapter. Now...

I slam into the room and sing, " WHO READY TO FUCK THIS BITCH UP, SQUAD?!"

Hollers fill the whole room, along with groaning. I go to the round table and stand at my spot. The squad, also called the OP Fuckers, consists of 7 people total, including me. I hope to whoever the fuck is watching over you that you know me. You already met Dabi and Himiko, meaning we have four more fuckers to introduce. We are going to start from the right of Toga and go from there.

Mr. Compress is the magician of the group. His outfit fits what you would see at the circus because he was a showman. His whole persona fits it. The three main things you will notice is his massive hat, mask, and over-sized trenchcoat. I mean, whatever works. He was initially considered one of the smartest villains in the world, but after some convincing, I got him on my side. He's my second-hand man when it comes to strategy. His quirk is Compress, allowing him to turn people and objects into portable without damaging it. This is useful if we need to bring in something such as a minigun or something of that caliber. Mr. Compress is fantastic at tricking targets as well. That's who I got my ability from.

Twice has the easiest suit to describe because it's a whole-body black and white suit. The only thing that stands out as the blue and red bracelets that contain measuring tapes that can be used in combat and his quirk. His personality is unique. He continually makes up his mind, so he never sticks to something he says. That's probably because of his quirk. His quirk is Double. This allows him to replicate anything he wants as long as he knows the characteristics and measurements. They are not as durable as the original, but they can still take some damage. Twice can duplicate two things at a time unless he duplicates himself. When he repeats himself, the duplicates can also duplicate themselves. However, he rarely uses this move as it drives him insane and makes him forget who is the real Twice.

Spinner is a human gecko with upright purple hair. His costume is similar to the villain's Stain because he follows him. His primary weapon consists of what I consider to be a stupid cleaver made of a ton of different knives and swords. Like every other previous villain, he was comfortable with his position. He enjoys hurting people. With my talent, I forced him to join. Now, we get along fine besides arguing our beliefs! His quirk is Gecko, which gives him the skin and abilities of one. The only thing that stands out about the quirk is that he can stick to walls. All I'm hoping for is that his cleaver breaks so that he can get a much more convenient weapon.

Big Sis Magne is a woman who got unlucky with the gender-changing surgery, so she looks like a man beside the hair and lips. Extra-large lips. That bed must be interesting. I can't help but be curious. Moving forward, she has a masculine body and is the only person that wears something normal like work-clothes. She has should-length red hair, triangular sunglasses, big lips (mentioned before, but they are just that big), and slight stubble. She is smart as well, but not as bright as Mr. Compress. She is a rather brutal woman, but I got her on my side somehow. If I need someone to go with me someplace and Toga won't do, she is my go-to person, primarily because of her quirk - Magnetism. Magnetism allows her to make people a magnet. This can apply to both the whole body and individual parts, but the direction you go is based on gender. If you are a boy, you go south. If you a woman, you go north. She can force people to repel against each other or slam into one another. Finally, she can't do herself. If you know how Magne's quirk works, it's fun. Otherwise, it sucks balls.

Alright, we have the whole squad explained, we can finally continue the story!

I look at each of them with a grin on my face (not that anyone can see) and start my speech, " As you have probably heard me talk about at least once, we are going after the Shie Hassaikai. However, we have a second goal in mind; there is a little girl that needs to be saved. She isn't in a good place there. Once she is saved, we will drop her off with the police and give her a phone so that she can stay in contact with me."

"Isn't that risky?" Mr. Compress asks.

"Yes, but she's an interesting case. She has a quirk that lets her rewind time in the body. She lacks control, so the government might attempt to pull some shit out of their ass. I will be there because I can and will be in her case."

"Understandable, have a nice day."

"I will after some bloodshed." That earns a cheer.

"What's the plan?"

"Himiko and I will sneak in first and try to get rid as many of them as possible. Twice, you will copy us and send in our twins with us. On the signal, everyone else will come in. Meanwhile, I hope to go find that girl. Got it?" I get mostly yeses and one no, but that's Twice for you, " Alright, time to go in the hearse!" Everyone cheers once more as we go to the garage of our underground base. On the way, Mom stops us to tell us to be careful, or she will beat us up herself before walking off innocently.

She ain't innocent.

We get to the black hearse, and I take the driver's seat while everyone else has to figure out their own shit. Before Dabi started setting shit on fire, Mr. Compress turned all of them into screaming marbles.

"Well, that's convenient," I tease.

* * *

"Compress, let the rest of the fuckers out. We are here."

On command, Mr. Compress lets everyone out. Himiko slaps me, " What the hell, Vi-kun!? That's so mean!"

"Blame Compress, not me. You asked for it." I preach the truth here.

Dabi mutters," You're both jerks."

"Well-aware, daddy. Now, are we ready to ruin this squads night?" Something tells me I should stop calling everyone mommy and daddy. I won't.

"Yes, sir!" The squad exclaims quietly together.

"Alright, everyone should have their earphones in. Himiko and I are going in first. Himiko, let me check for cameras first."

"Got it, Vi-kun!" I start muttering random shit that nobody else would understand. Good news: We have no cameras besides the cockroaches. This means we have a chance of getting all of them out without them noticing. However, with how many people there are, that chance is low.

"Let's go," I command as I lead her around the back. I pick the lock and quietly open the door. After checking for any guards, I signal for Himiko and the twins to follow. Silently, we walk through the hallways, the mask telling me where to go as I would get lost in a place like this. Something I noticed, being the germophobe I am, is how clean the rooms are. There is not a speck of dust anywhere. This place is cleaned possibly, and the members all wear masks. Based on that, I'm pretty sure the leader and I relate in being germophobes. I'm not as extreme as him, but I am pretty bad. There's a reason I have the cleanest Walmart in the world.

After some wandering and knocking out some people, we arrive during a meeting. I tell the squad to come because there is no way Himiko, the twins, and I will be able to knock them out all at once. The max we can knock out before they notice is four, and that is if we do it at the same time. Once they are out, we fight. We could burn them, but that would risk the girl if she is nearby, so we have to play safe. All these guys are familiar because they come from other places except now they wear bird masks.

The people, well, more like quirks to make your life easier are -

Overhaul - He can manipulate his surroundings at an impressive degree. He is probably one of the most dangerous here.

Chronostatsis - With his hair, if you are hit, you slow down immensely.

Mimicry - He can hop into shit and control them.

Confession - Allows him to force his victims to tell the truth.

Vitality Stealing - He can take the life force of others by touching for strength — another dangerous one.

Larceny - Anything the dude sees, he can bring to his hand — kind of like a snatch in pokemon.

Crystallize - He becomes crystal.

Food - ME! Okay, but seriously, he eats any and everything.

Barrier - He can create walls that can take some damage. He might be inconvenient.

Strongarm - He can move his arms in all directions with incredible speed for a few seconds. If you get hit, you're fucked.

Sloshed - He makes everyone in his surroundings drunk. Highly inconvenient.

Oh, and there are some gangsters as well, but I don't recognize them if I may be honest.

And that's everybody! This is going to be interesting. We have four people who can do the ability I want. Basically, we can hold our breathe and clear our mind, making ourselves disappear from everybody. It's terrific for sneak attacks. I look up to notice the squad coming. With a nod, I think for a moment.

Obviously, Overhaul is on the list. If we can get him out, we don't have to worry about instant death. I hate that I'm saying this, but Sloshed is out as well. We don't need to act drunk during this shit. Hm...this is a difficult decision.

I'm not too worried about Vitality Stealing (despite the life-stealing thing) or Food because I'm pretty sure, with my speed, I can knock them out. Scratch that, I'll leave Himiko with Food. That Vitality Stealing will slow me down a lot probably. I'm not worried about Confession at all. At most, he probably has a gun. I might have Spinner deal with him because his 'cleaver' can be used as a shield practically. I think Mr. Compress can deal with Strongarm with some creativity on his part. Big Sis Magne can deal with Larceny since she doesn't use anyone weapons for him to steal. I'll leave extra Himiko and me with Chronostasis and Mimic as we work well together. That leaves Crystallize and Barrier to be taken out. That's a simple plan that most likely won't work, but it's something. Oh wait, we have the gangsters too...we'll just have to adapt to them. They don't seem like too big of a deal. After explaining the idea, Himiko, the twins, and I sneak in behind our victims.

During this time, I listen in on our soon-to-be-dead/arrested victims.

"We have our first prototypes ready for testing. We will give them for free for anyone willing to test them for us. We will watch for results. Meanwhile, we will continue to work on improving the bullet. Step-by-step, we will continue to improve until we can get rid of this disease amongst us." Overhaul states to his group. I'm curious about what that means. I will have to look over their files while I'm here if they have any. I can't focus too much unless I feel like getting caught.

NOT TODAY! However, I'm curious about where I would go since God, and Satan hates my dumbass.

I stand behind Overhaul.

One.

Two.

Three.

**CRACK.**

**BUZZ.**

**SCREAMS.**

Bodies fall on the floor as we reveal ourselves and, the rest of the fuckers come out from the door.

With a grin, I state,

**"Karma is here to collect his debt from the little sinning birds."**

The battle has begun, fuckers.

START THE MUSIC!

* * *

Edited 3/31/2020


	4. Chapter 4

**Last Time!**

_I stand behind Overhaul._

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

**_CRACK._**

**_BUZZ._**

**_SCREAMS._**

_Bodies fall on the floor as we reveal ourselves and, the rest of the fuckers come out from the door._

_With a grin, I state,_

**_"Karma is here to collect his debt from the little sinning birds."_**

_The battle has begun, fuckers._

* * *

**Now.**

That part went smoothly. Like, for once in my illegal mini life, it didn't fuck up somehow! I'm so happy! Too bad, I need to focus now.

The moment the war started, I had to hop back to avoid the clock-hair from Chronostasis. Taking advantage of the moment, I shoot my claws at the Vitality Stealing dude and shock up, successfully knocking him out.

**BANG BANG BANG!**

I should have known guns were involved. I ski to the side to avoid some bullets along with the hair once more. I'm quick to notice Chronostasis can't move if his hair is moving. Highly inconvenient, in my opinion, especially if you are fighting by yourself. Chronostasis is randomly pushed back from me, but I know why.

"Go find the girl, Sweet Cheeks! We got them from here!" Yeah, only Big Sis Magne calls me that.

"Alright, Sweet Lips! Thank you!" I exclaim as I zoom out of the room while muttering for a new location. I start following directions until I come upon a vast crowd of villains arriving my way.

Of fucking course. The strange thing is that thugs don't hesitate. Usually, villains, even the stronger ones, wait whether it is to study me, to start a monologue, or in fear. The villains that attack me head-on either expected me somehow, are reckless, have no idea who I am (very rare), or they have nothing to lose. I'm going with my gut-feeling and saying it is the second one, mainly because this seems like a cult thing. You can't tell me this isn't a cult thing. They act like it.

"Going to slow down?" I ask with sarcasm. As suspected, they don't. I sigh, " Alright, then." I have a way of dealing with groups by myself. I dash forward into the group while reaching into my jacket. While I duck a hit, I pull out what looks like a pipe-bomb, trigger it, and drop it on the ground. I focus on dodging for a moment with speed, then trigger the shock factor of my gloves. In a snap, electricity fills the entire room. It knocks everybody out except me due to the shock-resistant clothing I wear. It takes a moment for the crackling to go down, but I don't bother to wait as I continue to my way.

Before you ask, I could have done that in the beginning. However, it leaves the environment dangerous for a while - meaning anything can catch on fire or anything else will. That's why I rarely use it. It also must be used in an enclosed room. Anyway, back on topic.

It takes a few minutes, I contact the police during that time, but I arrive at the door to the room that presumably holds the girl. I need to be calm about this. I can't be erratic; I don't want to scare the girl, after all. I pick the lock and slowly open the door.

The room itself is attempting to be comforting. When I mean attempting, I mean it's failing miserably at doing so. The walls and floor are grey. The bedside tables hold rather simple lamps. If you look at the corner, you can see a pile of unopened toys. However, on the queen-size bed, the girl trembles as she sits there looking me as if she is expecting the worst to happen.

The girl is a small pale girl with long, grey hair, red eyes, and a little horn protruding from her right-side of her forehead. She wears a flimsy grey hospital gown with wrappings all up her arms and legs. It seriously pisses me off when people do this. I rarely encounter kids, but when I do, I keep my eye on them for the rest of my life. There are only two kids that I have come across, but I visit them frequently because they don't need to deal with this bullshit. I will admit that I spoil them. They are the only kids I like, the girl about to be added.

I need to not scare her.

Raising my hands in her sight, I remove the claws to show only the black gloves underneath. I remove my bag to put the gloves in before putting it back on my back. Finally, I lift my mask and give her a gentle smile (hard to do).

"Hey. I know it's all scary now, but I'm here to help you. What those people are doing is wrong. The squad and I will get you out of here and into a safe home. What's your name?" Who knew it was so hard to be gentle? Not me!

It takes her a moment to answer in a fearful tone, "E-Eri."

I nod, "That's a nice name, Eri-chan. Do you mind if I come closer?" Do not ever expect me to use honorifics for anybody else besides kids. I receive a nod, "Alright, let me know if you ever become uncomfortable, okay?" Slowly, I approach her. Eventually, I end up beside her, " Do you mind if I sit down, Eri-chan?" Another nod. I sit down, giving her a proud smile, " You're doing good with the conditions you've been set at. Now, may I hug you?" It takes her a moment before she nods again. As gently as my killer body can manage, I wrap my arms around her.

With that, Eri breaks and tackles me into a hug. Following my (forcefully) trained instincts, I pull her on my lap, rocking her gently while rubbing her back. I give her a couple of minutes before I start talking, "As much as I would love to hold you forever, we need to get you out of this disappointment of a room. However, before we do that, um, here," I pull off my jacket and wrap it around her. I know it's short-sleeved, but it works, " I hope that comforts you. You can keep it. Think of it as a promise that I will come back. I may not look the same, but it will be me. You can't call me out on it, alright?" I can feel her confusion, but she nods, " Good. I will be there every step of the way, whether it be as a background character or a major character. Now, to know if it's me, I will call you a little midget. It sounds stupid, but it matches me. You ready to get out of this hellhole?" She nods.

Before anything, I put my mask on, " Oh, I can't be caught in this form. It's illegal. I could have done this legally, but I didn't want to risk losing you. Now, I need you to hold on tight," I explain. I get up, bringing Eri with me. I press her against my chest as I run out of the room while muttering for the nearest exit. However, I get cut off.

_"Magne has been eliminated," _Mr. Compress announces through the radio. I stop.

"What do you mean she is eliminated?" I ask with a calm voice.

_"Overhaul woke up and got her. We got a majority of them, but he fused with one of the bodies. Extremely powerful." _I bite my tongue for a moment before speaking.

"Can everyone hear me?" I get a confirmation. I think for a moment," Mr. Compress, is there a chance of revival with how his quirk works?"

_"No, sir." _I shake. I try to avoid this, but sometimes, you have to.

"If that's the case, everyone but Dabi get out. Dabi, permission to kill. Burn him as slowly and painfully as possible. He deserves it." I so want to chop off his arms and legs and leave him to suffer, but I'm not risking any more of the Fuckers.

_"More than willing." _Dabi chuckles.

_"Did you get the girl, Vi-kun?" _Himiko asks.

"Yes. Now get out." With that, I start going through the twisting walls to get the hell out of there. My luck is still shit as we run into a few people, but it's nothing I can't do. I just have to hit them extra hard and let Natural Selection do their thing. It's their fault if they die.

Finally, we arrive outside to see the police out with their guns ready.

I'm not having it.

I scream at them," PUT YOUR DAMN GUNS DOWN! I HAVE A LITTLE GIRL HERE!" And I should be bipolar because I quickly switch to a calm demeanor, shifting her on my left hip so I can look at her, " Sorry, Eri-chan. They're doing their jobs because I'm involved." I look up to see the guns down. Officers move to the side to reveal a familiar man.

He groans, " Virus, why - you know what, I don't care. Hand over the girl."

"Damn, Eraser, you pushy! Give me a moment with her! I'm not going to inject her or anything!" Ignoring him approaching, I lean her close and whisper to her, " There is a phone in that jacket. Text me whenever you want, and I will come. Oh, and the guy in front of us is trust-worthy. He has my seal-of-approval despite looking like he does weed." With that, I set her down, but keep a hand on her shoulder.

I have a message to spread first. I learned that if I am touching someone, that person will not be affected by my voodoo aura thingy-ma-bobber.

With my free hand, I pull out my katana and point it at the police, **" If you guys do not treat this little girl with respect, I will not hesitate to put you in place. She keeps the jacket and phone so that I can keep up with her case. This is my only warning to you."**

**BOOM!**

I turn around to see the building burst in blue flames. I turn off the aura and chuckle, " I think it's time for me to go! Smell ya later, nerds!" Taking advantage of the shock factor, I squeeze her shoulder before I run off. Don't worry; I make sure to put my katana away before doing so.

I arrive at the hearse within a minute, jump in the driver's seat, and zoom off. I mean, I'm wanted anyway. No need to attempt to be legal, especially when you drive a VERY recognizable vehicle. Thinking about it, why hasn't this been caught yet? The world may never know!

Beside and behind me, I can hear shuffling from the Fuckers. Tension fills the air.

"We got cocky, Virus. I'm sorry. She didn't deserve that." Mr. Compress starts.

"She did, but she didn't." Twice attempts to join. You tried, buddy.

"She was a good partner." Spinner adds.

"Powerful partner." Dabi.

"A good make-up artist." Himiko.

I sigh, the darkness outside adding to the dull feeling, " Sweet Lips, I hope you can hear us. We are sorry, but I hope you find comfort in the afterworld. Likely not, but we can hope, right? You may have struggled at first, but you helped a majority by the end." We have a moment of silence for once in our damn life. After, I speak up again," What happened?"

Mr. Compress thinks of his response before answering, " He was knocked out. However, he woke up while we were dealing with the crystal man I. Magne was the nearest to him, so she was his target, I assume. From there, we backed up, and Dabi got the order to burn."

I nod as focus on the road. We remain quiet until we get back to the base. When we arrive, I tell everyone to stay the night. I have to plan a funeral for Magne now, so I was going to focus on that. I'm thankful I made everyone in the group write down what they wanted in case they died. Like most normal people, I hoped never to use it. I walk into my office when I hear my Izuku cellphone going off on the table because I left it here. I didn't want to be tracked after all.

**SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!**

That was not on the to-do list. I feel like a dumbass because I should have. I YEET myself to the phone and answer, " What up, Eraserhead? Need help falling asleep again?"

_"This is important. I sent you coordinates, and I need you there within the next half-hour." _Eraserhead responds with bite.

"What happened?" I ask while I remove my mask and change back into Izuku. I hate that I have to dress in something nice when I'm going to be looking at ashes and blood.

_"Virus and his team attacked a base. However, when we got there, he came out with a little girl. She isn't speaking to anybody, but she is following orders. Virus gave her his jacket and phone, but we can't take it from her because he threatened us. Then, the building caught in blue flames and left."_

"So Virus and Dabi were there. It will take an hour at least for the place to cool down, so how about I talk to the girl and see what I can get?"

_"Fine. I have no idea how you will do it, but I'll let you. We are at the hospital near the coordinates. You should know. When should I expect you?"_

"Ten minutes. See you soon, hobo!" I tell him too loudly as I shut off my phone. I finish changing, and I fix my now white gloves and jacket. I go outside to my black motorcycle. For once, a legal vehicle because I got it legalized. I can even drive it because I got my license early due to the whole 'being a genius' thing.

Hey, whatever works.

I put on my helmet and drive off.

* * *

"Aright, who is ready to rumble!?" I enter as I slam the doors open. I immediately have to avoid being hit by a grey scarf.

"You have no logic. We are in a hospital, idiot. Come on." Eraserhead mumbles, having been sitting and waiting for me presumably. He gets up and walks off as if he is trusting me to follow him.

Don't worry, I am. I mumble, " At least someone would appreciate it."

We arrive at a window that shows Eri sitting on the bed and looking at nothing. I take note that she still has the jacket on. I'm glad the threat worked, but, yeah, this isn't much of an improvement. The only positive is at least they won't do that shit with her. Of course, with a lack of knowledge on her quirk, they had to quarantine her. There are two main ways of figuring out a quirk - having them use their quirk or having someone with a quirk analysis quirk doing it for them. Some people's quirks are apparent, so we don't have to worry about that, and most quirks are not dangerous to their surroundings. However, if you have no idea what it is, you rather not have the person randomly use it for safety reasons. I deny she will tell us.

Good news, I have way too many degrees for my own good. Otherwise, I would have my hands tied behind my back. I walk into the office beside Eri's room and walk over to her files, ignoring the nurse.

"Sir, you don't-" She tries to stop me.

I cut her off by showing her my license that I pulled out of my pocket, " I have permission, lady. I got this, sweets." I feel a smack upside my head, but I ignore it in favor of looking at the papers.

I thank whoever was watching over this girl that she doesn't have anything too serious. Humming, I put the papers down, "I'm going to talk to her. Don't look at me like that, Eraserhead! I'm not going to be like 'hey, were you abused?!' I have a degree in psychology, dumbass."

"You don't act like it."

"When do I ever?" That shuts him up. Before you ask why I can go into quarantine, it's because of my doctor's degree. I have too many to count. Sighing, I open the door and enter her room to see her looking up," What up, little midget?"Eri's eyes widen when I say that, but there is no other emotion. Ain't that sad? "Can I have a name besides little midget? Something tells me I shouldn't call you that." Whether that be Eraserhead screaming in my headset or my gut feeling, we all know which one it is.

"E-Eri." She practically whispers. I give her a warm smile and repeat what I did earlier.

"Eri-chan, eh? I can work with that. Do you mind if I come closer? You look like you could use a hug. You can always stop me anytime. You are in control." I receive a nod, and I start walking closer slowly. It certainly is faster than the first time. I sit on the bed and open my arms. Without hesitation, she jumps into my arms, but not crying this time. I rock her gently, "You're so brave, Eri-chan. I'm so proud. You will get the love and affection you deserve."

I remain in that position for as long as possible, holding Eri. She needs and deserves it. She needs someone to trust, and I'm willing to be her pillar. I fight my hyperactive body for once.

However, I'm forced out at fifteen minutes. Sighing in disappointment, I let go of Eri and stand up, stroking her hair carefully," Rest, Eri. You need all the energy you can get, alright? Good night." I tell her as I put her in bed and tuck her in as a proper adult should. With another pat, I leave the room. The first sight?

Eraserhead glaring at me, "How in the world do you manage that?"

I stare at him with confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Normally, you're horrible with children."

"I am not!"

"Izuku, you told a kid that was being bullied to 'beat the shit out of his bully' because of something involving Natural Selection?"

"It worked out for me!"

"You got kicked out of that school for that exact reason."

"Someone is far behind in the ways, and I will say it is not me. It's society." Eraser sighs.

"I'll just appreciate you were good for once. You should head to the location now. I will update you if anything happens."

"Gotcha! See ya, Pinky!"

"Pinky?"

"Like an eraser!"

"Get. Out."

"FINE, YOU SALTY CRACKER!"

With that conversation out of the way, I get on my motorcycle and go back to the location to pick up clues even though I know what happened.

* * *

Edited 4/1/2020


	5. Chapter 5

I sincerely wish I was the one to face Overhaul. I would have tortured him to the brink of death and then sent him to the police. However, I didn't need to lose any more of the Fuckers, which is why I had Dabi kill him. Did that fuck up with more evidence we could have got? Yes, but life should almost always be put over proof.

Except if you are Endeavor, but we won't count him because his attitude problem is more extensive than my IQ. To give you an idea on that, my IQ matches closely with Nezu's, a rat who has a quirk that makes him intelligent. Now that's an attitude. As much as I would love to diss Endeavor, that will be saved for another day.

Back on topic, let me spill the tea.

I arrive at the crime scene once more, pull back the sides of my hair with bobby pins, and go to work with a camera at hand. I start taking pictures of everything while forming an idea of what happened even though I know what happened. I can't say too much because that would be suspicious, but I need to say enough. While walking, I realize that Dabi did a bunch of damage, but that's expected with his quirk. Eventually, I arrive at the lab with the files on Eri, along with the experiments done on her. I almost break the protocol of opening it before snapping a shot of the scene. I need to figure something out for that. Anyway, as I go through the files.

Sigh...God, you suck. Why do you create this shit? Let me attempt to explain everything.

Eri's quirk is Rewind. Rewind gives her the ability to reverse time a person's body. In simplified terms, she can get rid of those wrinkles you have been trying to prevent for years in the matters of sections. This can also work on injuries; however, she isn't trained. Eri can bring a person's body before existence. That's what happened to her father on accident. As it turns out with her shitty luck, her quirk, if the science is done correctly, can destroy quirk factors.

What do I mean by science?

Well, it involved Eri's blood. A five-year-old girl's blood was being used to create quirk-factor destroying bullets. It wasn't like they were taking small amounts either. They were stealing large volumes that would usually kill a girl. Before she would supposedly die, Overhaul would use his quirk to heal her.

It's disappointing the shit I come upon in this career.

"Disgusting," I mutter underneath my breath. Of course, someone has to hear me.

"I assume you found something vital to the investigation, Izuku?" A male voice asks behind me. I spin around to see Sir Nighteye at the doorway. He closes the door behind him as he studies the room.

Sir Nighteye is an unusual man. On the outside, he looks heartless. He doesn't even have the standard hero attire. He seems like a tall AF businessman, but that works out well for him. His green and yellow hair is combed to the side. He's tall. He wears these sharp-looking glasses that hide his yellow eyes that could reveal him using his quirk. He's really tall. He wears an all-white suit with a red tie with white polka dots and brown dress shoes. Did I mention he was tall? Like, he's six foot seven inches (200 cm)! For comparison, I'm five foot three inches (162 cm). Overall, he looks serious besides the dumb tie.

Sir Nighteye's quirk is Foresight. After he touches someone and engages in eye contact, he can see his or her future for an hour. Once the hour is over, he must wait 24 hours to use it again. That's a very powerful quirk for a hero. More specifically, a hero involved in investigations.

"I found out the shit they were doing to the girl. Wait, why are you here?" It takes a moment for it to click, "Those were the guys you were after, isn't it?"

He sighs, "Yes. It seems like you have taken care of them. I must ask: why did you decide to kill them? Usually, you show restraint."

Before you break your dicks, yes. Sir Nighteye knows that I'm Virus. He's the only hero that guarantee knows that I'm Virus. He used his Foresight on me and learned through that. Why isn't he after me? Sir has tried, but he learned how vital I was in both ways. Oh, and I wouldn't let them capture me anyway. Therefore, rather than work against me, Sir has figured out a way to get along with me. It's weird, but we get through it. He is my most valued partner on the hero side besides Eraserhead, even though we don't work together as often as Eraser and I do.

Who knew that the only number one hero sidekick to ever exist would work with the number one most wanted vigilante? Not me! Anyway, Sir Nighteye also has beliefs that don't show, but they are there once you get to know him. I kind of line up to them, so that might be another reason.

I consider his question," They kill one of the Fuckers. Overhaul was too dangerous of a quirk to keep on a field, so I asked for them to be killed for the safety of my squad." He looks me over, scanning me for something. What? I can't tell you as social ques are not my strong suit. Did I mention he was a genius? He is. Not to the point like me as he would be able to catch me already, but he is.

"I'm sorry for the loss." I hum.

"It pisses me off because we have been together for so long. She was my go-to partner. After reading this, I wish he was still alive, so I can break into his jail cell and make him suck my dick."

"Care to explain what you found?" Oh, that might be useful.

"Do you know everything we know before this search?"

"Yes."

"That makes my life easier. The girl's name is Eri, and her quirk is Rewind; Rewind gives her the ability to turn back time on somebody's body. This can be a little bit, or in her father's case, out of existence. That's what got her in this mess. Overhaul learned her quirk and is-was trying to find a way to use her blood to make quirk-factor destroying bullets. With Overhaul's quirk, he can rewind her body before she dies while getting the maximum amount of blood for the experimentation. Thankfully, they only got it to do temporarily, and the resources to make the bullets are more expensive than Diamond Gucci Slides. I'm glad I got her out, but I should have been quicker. I have known for a month, Sir! Yet, she had to deal with a month here, at least! All offense, this place is trash! Horrible!" I start to growl by the end, but I take a deep breath to calm down.

"Why didn't you involve the heroes? Why did you wait so long?" Sir Nighteye presses. He knows how to get me.

"I wasn't risking anything. This whole thing got someone killed. It was one of those situations where the less information around, the better it goes. Besides, heroes take too long to get shit done."

"I understand. I wish that you didn't have to be involved."

"No need to worry, Sunflower. Let's head out so you can get some sun because I already got everything here." That manages to get a chuckle from him before he hides his smirk. We step out, and god damn, the sun is rising. Did I lose track of time again?

"You're lucky, the sun is starting the rise."

"Have I been in here for that long?" I look to see Sir nodding, his glasses reflecting the colors from the sunrise. Wait a moment. Hold the phone. Hold my cheese sticks. I think I just came up with a solution to my inconvenient camera problem!

"You have an idea?"

"Smart glasses! God damn, why didn't I think of that?! You know how much time I could save if I had everything on glasses?!" Like, I'm a dumbass! I already have it in my mask, so why can't I have it in glasses? Imagine how cute I would look in nerd glasses!

"That's an interesting idea. You can work on that once you get home and rest." Sir is trying to get me to sleep, eh? Well, fuck you, I do what I want!

"I'm going to print out the medical info on Eri, get some shit, visit the hospital, make sure dumbass eats, and go home to create the glasses because I need it in my life now. Oh, and do Walmart finances."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"Like I keep track of that!"

"You're going to get yourself killed."

"I'll sleep sometime this week." Sir Nighteye shakes his head.

"If I learn you pass out again, I'm making you go through everything we learned again, and you have to do it perfectly."

"I won't! See ya, Sunflower!" Completely ignoring what he has to say, I get on my motorcycle and zoom off.

* * *

After sending off a copy of the pictures to Sir Nighteye and going to the store for some shit, I head to the hospital. Logically, when I enter the hospital, I threw the stack of papers at Eraserhead, who was sleeping. On instinct, he jumps up while holding the documents. When he realizes it was me who did it, he uses his ineffective quirk on me. His eyes light up demon red and his hair floats. I tilt my head to the side, clueless.

"Eraser, why are you attacking the poor little quirkless boy?" I ask innocently.

"Poor little quirkless boy bullshit. Quirkless and short may be true-"

"Hey!"

"-but poor? You're the same brat that is the top detective in Japan for the past two years and solved so many cases others could not. Legally? No, but it works. Stop making yourself the victim."

"Salty, alright then. Here, I'll fix it!" I hand him a bento that I picked up on my way here, "Here, eat. Your baby pouches are not cutting it." Reluctantly, Eraser opens the bento and looks at it like I poisoned the bitch, "If I was going to poison it, I would have done it at the beginning of our relationship because you're annoying. Eat, dumbass. I didn't even touch it."

Eraserhead sighs before taking a bite of food. After the first bite, he eats through it rather quickly. Damn, I need to shove more down his throat. I have no idea how he is alive, but he is. I will let him eat in peace and speak to him later. I head to Eri's room. Huh, she's already awake. I'm surprised. She probably got like three or four hours of sleep. Nerves maybe? Either way, I'm talking to her.

Quietly, I enter the room, quickly catching Eri's attention. I notice that she still has my jacket on, so I guess it has become a comfort item for her. I need to remember that. I give her a pleasant smile, but I don't receive one in return. Now that is expected. I close the door behind me, "Hey Eri-chan. Do you mind if I come closer? I have some presents for you to fill this bland room. Oh, and things to do. I thought you wouldn't want to just sit here," I receive a nod, and I walk over to her," Mind if I sit?" Another nod. I sit down and place a sizeable glittery rainbow gift bag in front of her. I'm sorry, but I thought she needed color in her white room," Everything in it is yours. If the nurses try to take it, tell them that I brought it in. If they still steal it, text me, and I will get it back. Go ahead and open it! Oh, and take as much time as you need. We have plenty!" I give her another calm smile.

Eri shows some hesitation, but she carefully goes through the bag thoroughly. I focused on comfort items for now. Right now, the room she is in looks like the room she was in. I wasn't going to have it. I got her the following items; coloring books with colors, stickers, fluffy pillow, fluffy blanket, a light-up cat, an old phone I had with headphones so she can play music, and a few strands of white fairy lights.

It's not my fault that I want to spoil her. I have the money; therefore, I'm going to do it. She is going to be covered in so much fluff that she will be a fluffy unicorn with her little horn.

With permission from Eri, I set up the phone and cat for her so she can have a little light and music because the hospital sounds suck. I pull the lights out of the box, " Hey, Eri-chan, you mind if I walk around and hang these up?" I receive a nod. Going in my bag, I pull out hangers (Don't ask what I keep in there. At one point, I had a severed finger in there, so I gave up figuring out what I keep in there.)and start sticking them to the wall. Then, I grab the lights and hang them up. I keep the lights off, though. I want to see her reaction. It takes me a little while, past visiting time, but they can suck my dick because I'm not leaving till I make her comfortable.

"Hey, Eri-chan, you ready to see the lights?" I ask gently.

"Y-yes." Holy shit, she responded! I grin wide. I turn on the fairy lights and turn off the damn hospital lights to reveal a more comforting room. The cat light glows beside her, but I can see the sparkle in her eyes.

"You like it?" She nods. Then, she opens her arms, shocking even me, "Do you want me to hug you?" Once again, Eri nods. It takes everything not to tackle her down and smother her in love. Maybe I'm becoming too close with her, but oh well! Holding back my overloaded energy source, I sit down beside her and hug her with as much love as I can muster. I stroke her hair gently with my white gloves. We say like that for a few minutes until something slams into my mind like a subway.

GOD DAMN IT, I'M AN IDIOT!

I pry myself away from her and stand up, receiving a strange look as I bow down.

"I am so sorry! I broke the first rule in making a friend: I forgot to give you my name. I deserve to be knocked out for that. Anyway, Izuku Midoriya at your service! Call me Izuku or Izu. Once again, sorry I didn't start with that." There is silence for a moment. Then...

"I-Izu?" Eri tests the name on her tongue. I smile.

"Yip yip!" Before our conversation continues, the door opens up to reveal Eraser.

Eraser has the nerve to interrupt our bonding time, " Way past visiting time, kid. I'll let you say bye, but that's it." He looks around the room, noticing the lights. He doesn't say anything. I will be hearing about it later, probably.

"Way to ruin the moment, Jackass. Eri-chan, have you met Eraser? I know he looks like a child predator, but I promise you he is a good man. I have a feeling you will two will be meeting a lot more in the future." I get a blank look from him.

"Y-yes..." Eri responds, but she seems more tense.

"Do you mind if I tuck you in, sweetheart?" She nods, faster than usual. I adjust her in bed, lay her on the fluffy pillow, and cover her with the blanket. I stroke her head before pressing a kiss on her forehead, "Have a good rest, Eri-chan."

Giving Eri a final smile, I leave the room after Eraser and close the door.

Eraserhead takes a moment to run everything through his head before talking, "I'm impressed." Of all things, I didn't think he would say that!

"How come?"

"You, practically a sociopath, can get along with that girl. You're getting better."

"Yeah, I'm about to ruin that for you. Can we sit down and chat for a bit? I have something I believe you should be aware of." He looks at me suspiciously but nods as we go to the hallway and sit in the rigid chairs.

"This on the case? Better explain fast because I still have to go to UA despite not having a class." UA is the top hero school. I forgot he was a teacher there. Well, if you can even call him that. Eraserhead decided that this year everyone sucks and expelled them himself. Impressive, but understandable. You have to have the right mind to be a hero. You can have a bloody fantastic quirk, but if your mindset is shit, you will be a shit hero. Eraser makes my life easier by getting rid of some of the shit heroes before they become heroes. Too bad, we still have people like Mount Lady.

"Yeah. I'm getting straight to it then. Eri's quirk is Rewind; it allows her to turn back time on a human body. However, she doesn't seem to have much control over her quirk. I believe they are going to try and make you a guardian as you can erase her quirk. You should know the rest of the reasons." I can see the shock in his eyes, but it doesn't spread to his face.

"Izuku, I'm a full-time hero and teacher. How am I suppose to pull off taking care of a child?"

"I don't expect you to because you can't take care of yourself. That's why I have a proposal." My stupidest idea yet.

"This is going to be interesting."

"You're absolutely right, Pinky! Now, I think we can both agree that Eri likes me. You know Mom, and I own a house, right?"

"Yet you live in Walmart?" Ass.

"Moving forward, Mom, you, Eri, and I will move into the house so we can take care of each other. Someone will always be around to take care of Eri, and you and Eri will have a mother-figure through her as well."

"Did you ever ask your mom if she agreed with this?"

"Of course not! Once she sees Eri, she will agree. She happens to like you. Oh, and I can teach Eri as well since she can't go to school immediately!"

"If I get asked, I will consider your offer as it's logical. For once, you created something logical, yet it makes me suffer."

"You suffer either way."

"True. I should be heading to class. I'm not needed since we know the quirk now. I hope that she doesn't have to be injected with quirk suppressant because of an accident."

"You and me both. Welp, I have to build some glasses and do finances, so see you later!" I get up and walk off safely.

I'm surprised he didn't attack me over comparing his look to a child predator. To be honest, his look is suspicious as fuck. I guess I did lower his standards about me quite a bit. Or maybe it's the shock that I'm kind to Eri? Either way, as long as I don't get beat up, I'm good!

* * *

Edited 4/2/2020


	6. Chapter 6

Alright. It has been a couple of weeks since the last incident, and we are currently about to start another.

We got Mom, the locations, the hearse, dry ice in buckets, knives, and the target.

It's time to kill a bitch!

Before you ask, yes. It takes preparation to kill someone. Technically speaking, you can just stab them and go along. However, I happen to want to help the world, whether it be by burning the body or throwing it in the forest for composing. However, on some occasions, I will cut out the organs and bring them to the black market. You're saving a good life while ending an asshole, so a win-win in my book!

Let me knock some conspiracies out the window first. Not everyone on the black market is a shitty person. The wait-list is a bitch, and most people die before they get the organ they need for a transplant. The black market is a final hope. People get desperate. I came up with this idea while I was idly scrolling through the web and ended up on a medical website talking about the problem. I thought: Hey! My mom can do the surgery with me, and I can find the clients and organs. So far, we have saved 24 people. That doesn't seem like a large number, but every life counts.

Not surprisingly, this is the only illegal thing Mom supports. Kind of. She supports the saving people part. She happens to be against the killing part for some reason. I mean, they are going to die anyway! I'm only quickening the process!

You want the action, huh? Don't lie to me. You want to see the blood. Why else would you be watching a sociopath?

Currently, we are targeting the chief of a police station because I know that he's the one giving information out to the villains. The problem is that as Izuku, I can't do jack shit underground. It has to be something minor. However, as Virus, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Therefore, I am killing him and donating his organs.

I have two different types of kills. Yes, this is a thing. I have normal and special kills.

Normal kills are when I am killing someone I barely know. Usually, I refrain from killing and knock them out with a shock. However, if the risk is too high to keep them alive, I will deliver them to Satan myself. This is rare despite how I am talking about it, but it happens. I say that about one in every 100 incidents, I kill someone. Believe it or not, I have the lowest killing rate in the squad with Toga having one out of every 25 kills, and Dabi one out of ten. Himiko is more impulsive on the killing while Dabi burns the bodies like toast. Normal kills apply to your regular thugs you find on the route. Normal kills are more spontaneous in a sense.

Special kills are guaranteed kills because I know the person. They are planned. They are rare, but they happen. These are typical of higher-level villains and some people in power like fucked-up politicians. Granted, that's not what I usually go after, but if I know they are dangerous, I will take them out. As these are special kills, their organs are planned for the bodies. With organs that can be used, I always kill these people in a specific way: a slice through the throat. It kills them and leaves the organs intact.

With that explained, I am currently waiting for the guy to come through the alleyway so I can kill him. Himiko and Mom are waiting in the hearse. Once I kill him, the two will come out, get the organs, and take them to the patient. We will leave the body to the police. Now, in normal kills, we get rid of the entities. In unusual cases, we will drop the body so the police (and me) can do more research or send a message to the public. It depends on the situation.

My job is to make sure we don't get caught. If people start chasing us down, I'm the sacrifice because I am the fastest and can get out of jail if I do get stuck in. It might take a little while, but it will happen eventually.

I perk up the moment I hear footsteps. I can feel the grin creeping under my mask as I believe my target has just arrived I peek over the edge, and I am correct. Standing up, I jump down and land a few feet in front of the man. This guy has the nerve to attempt his damn chief of police attitude.

"What are you doing here, Virus?" He asks in a professional tone. I take a quick lookover of the man before me. I never learned his name because I never work with him. Still, he is your typical tall, scary(for anyone else) businessman. He wears a black suit, a white button-up, and a black tie. His black is smoothed back to reveal his ugly-ass face with a beard. The only thing I really did research on about this man was his quirk. It's not useful for combat, but it's beneficial for detective work.

The man's quirk is Tracker: how it works is he goes to the scene of the crime, and he can see anybody who has gone through the area. He can see what they did by being able to go back an hour. He can't hear what is said, nor can he move from his position. Otherwise, his quirk cancels itself when he walks. Oh, it doesn't work with other moving objects.

I don't think I have anything to worry about here. The boy has a gun, but he won't have a chance to shoot.

"You know, here to make a killing on a thot carrying information." I snark, letting my gloves spark for drama.

That makes the man get into a fighting position, " W-what proof do you have?" I burst out laughing as I lean over.

"WHY DO I NEED PROOF?! MORALS DON'T EXIST IN THIS WORLD!" I exclaim.

"V-virus, y-y-you have m-morals."

"OH, DON'T THROW THAT SHIT AT ME!

**If that was the case, I wouldn't be here, huh?**" I grin psychotically under my mask.

I'm not wasting any more time on this pathetic loser. Tracker dude doesn't get a chance to blink when I lunge at him and stab my right claw through his throat. I pull back and watch his body slump to the ground with blood pouring out. I'm sad that I will have to clean my claw because of blood, but I got the job done! Part one of Mission: Kill that Bitch is complete!

Part two has started!

I turn on my radio and sing, "Mom, Himiko, you can come out now!" In less than a minute, I see mom in an all-black costume similar to Himiko and me carrying a couple of cases for organs.

"Aw, Vi-kun, you decorated him so well! It's a disappointment that I have to become him. He looks like trash." Himiko hops around the body, excited over the blood. However, she is quick to calm down as she grabs her blood-sucking device, stabs it in the man's leg, and starts taking the blood for her quirk. Mom, on the other hand, pulls out a scalpel and starts opening up the body. I stand around for look-out.

For once, life is easy because we got the organs, blood, and nobody came! Yee-haw! Now, it's time for the hard part which is transporting. We all go to the hearse. Mom and Himiko get in the hearse while I crawl on top and lay down.

"Be careful, sweetie!" Mom yells through the window.

"Will do!" I probably am lying, but oh well! With that, we zoomy down the road to Underground Walmart.

* * *

The police are fucking trash because we got there, no problem. I'll have to let them know to guard this area more. It shouldn't be that easy. I want a challenge, after all.

Anyway, the moment we arrive, members in the base grab the iceboxes and take them to the hospital ward. I hop down from the roof as I see Mom and the other members run to go do surgery. I hope everything goes well. I don't usually get involved unless someone is missing as I do too many things. I get out of my vigilante costume, clean the blood, and head to my office to find a message on the damn answering machine. It was empty when I left at eight PM. I was gone for like an hour at most! With a sigh, I turn it on.

Eraserhead's dull voice fills the room, _"You were right. I was asked to look after Eri. I get off at four in the morning, and I would like to talk to you about it then. See you then." _The machine starts doing the usual talking shit.

I'm not worried about that. I'm fucking salty that Eraserhead wants me then. Like, I have a life! You could have asked first! Sure, I had nothing planned then but the integrity of this man! The worst part is that this has happened multiple times before!

Bitch-ass-mother-fucker. I'll complain when I see him. However, there might be a chance I have to deal with him a lot more, so I need to be polite. I grab my black nerd glasses, put them on, grab the keys to my motorcycle, and head out.

Oh, I should mention that I did build those glasses. I look adorable in them!

Sorry for springing that on you, but I had no idea where else to tell you! Now onto the next scene!

"HEY, YOU DAMN FUCKWAD! I HAVE A DAMN LIFE! YOU DON'T GET TO ACT HIGH AND MIGHTY JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A PRO HERO, ASSHAT!" I scream the moment I walk into the station. Eraserhead groans when he hears my loudmouth.

"Can you be any louder?" He asks, unaware of his consequences.

I clear my voice before going at the top of my lungs, "HELL, YEAH - HEY, LET ME GO!" He wrapped me up in his stupid scarf!

"I'm sorry about him. He has no self-control."

"Um, offended because I do. I choose not to use it because I am salty with you."

"You are always angry about something."

"False! Stop shoving words in my mouth, hobo!"

"I'll buy you food at the cafe we are going to if you calm down." That snaps me out of my rage real quick.

"Food!" Eraserhead sighs as he leads me to the nearest cafe. Thankfully, it's only a block away. The next thing I know, we are in a booth with muffins and chocolate milk. I swing back-and-forth in my seat, way too happy over the food.

"You're going to make me broke with how much you eat."

"You're already broke. Look at what you wear. I'll pay. I own the best Walmart in the world, after all."

"I can't believe I'm asking this with how you are acting."

"Hmm?" I tilt my head in confusion.

"I need help with Eri. You know what you are doing when it comes to her, and you and your mom have flexible schedules. I'm willing to accept your offer, Izuku." I look at Eraserhead in shock. I didn't think he would agree to that. I knew he would agree with Eri, but not that. I'm glad I keep the emergency house clean now. I switch personalities quickly, going from idiotic to formal like a bipolar person.

"You sure, Eraserhead?"

"It's logical. I know you are going to take Eri anyway for how protective you have become of her. Someone needs to be the logical person in the house while protecting you three. Eri could still be chased after, as you should know very well. Having two highly wanted people in the same house is dangerous." What that means is that I have been chased after before. Being the top detective in Japan, even though I am anonymous, does that to you.

I nod, "Alright. When are we starting this?"

"Today."

"...WHAT?! YOU DON'T GIVE ME A PREWARNING OR NOTHING?!"

"Calm down, they didn't give me one either. The Commission just told me a few hours ago. Do you have everything set up for us?"

"The basics, yes. We can add on later. How much time until we can pick Eri up?"

"We can pick her up at eight AM, so we have a couple of hours to finish preparations."

"I wish they didn't spring this on us. Then I can have more time to make her room a sensory room. Damn," I finish my last muffin and gulp down my chocolate milk before standing up," We are going to your place first to pick up what you need. We will get everything else later. Meanwhile, let me call Mom and explain the situation. " I get a nod as he stands up and leads us out to his place.

I dial Mom, hearing her voice within the first ring, _"Honey! How are you? Did something happen? Is something wrong?" _She is a worry-wart as always.

I reassure her quickly, "No, but we have a situation. Are you available?" AKA, are you done sticking organs into other people?

_"Yes, why? Did you get arrested?!" _Eraserhead chuckles at that. He probably expects me to go to jail, not Virus.

"No. Remember the offer I gave to Eraserhead?"

. . .

_"I'm getting a daughter and son?!" _Karma gets him because Shouta chokes on that. Take that, bitch.

"Yes. I need you to bring the basic necessities to our actual house. We will bring everything later because they are coming today."

_"And I don't get a warning?!"_

"You think I did? I can tell you that I didn't. You have a couple of hours. Let's go!" I hang up on her before she can respond.

"Really, kid?" Eraserhead sighs.

"Really, Eraserhead?" Sass back right at you.

"Aizawa." Is it finally happening after two years or whatever?

"Huh?"

"Call me Aizawa. Only logical since we are going to live together now," My eyes sparkle, " Izuku, calm down-"

"Aizawa Aizawa Aizawa!"

"Whatever."

* * *

"I think we are in the wrong place."

"I know where my place is, Izuku." I look at Er-Aizawa. That's going to take a while to get used to. I look at Aizawa with much disappointment.

"I thought we were in a dump. It's so basic, yet so trashy. This is why you look like shit all the time! It all makes sense! Now I'm curious!" I put on a medical mask before entering the dark apartment and head straight to the kitchen. I start going through his cabinets.

Aizawa shakes his head, " I don't need to be judged on how I live from a kid." Presumably, he goes to his room to pack while I stalk his place. For god sakes, there is mold! He's probably the one who created the coronavirus! I know that is a horrible joke, but that is how terrible his place is! Anyway, I find only fruit pouches and ramen noodles.

That is it...he needs some help. We shall feed him and take care of him like Eri, except he is an older emo uglier version of her.

Rephrase, Aizawa can look good. He just doesn't bother to.

Aizawa clears his throat, "Can you stop going through my stuff? I got everything."

"What stuff? At the disappointing attempts at food? Mom and I are going to stuff you to the point you will look healthy. You look like a vampire."

"Let's go." Salty bitch.

* * *

I take a deep breath, focusing on calming down. I can't be my overexcitable self around Eri at this time. With Aizawa behind me, I enter the familiar room that I have been visiting for the last two weeks.

"Hey, Eri-chan. It's Eraserhead and Izuku. Can we come near?" I ask, not moving from the doorway without her permission. The moment Eri sees us, the light in her eyes appears as she nods quickly. I provide a pleasant smile as I approach. I don't be careful anymore like I was before. I can walk right up to her, but I still ask permission silently for a hug. When I receive a nod, I sit down beside her and pull her into a hug. She's the only person besides my mom that I will let hug me like that.

Aizawa clears his throat, " Eri, you will be going home today." Eri peeks from my shirt nervously. She still sports that black jacket I gave to her as Virus. I'm glad she found comfort in it, but I will probably need to wash it soon for how much she is wearing it.

"Home?" Eri asks. I'm quick to reassure her.

"Well, we hope to make it a new home for you. You're coming with Aizawa, " I point at Eraserhead, so she knows, " and I and staying with us so we can love and protect and spoil you along with my mom, who you will be meeting at the house. I know things are going to get scary, but I need you to be brave. We will be there for you. Understand?"

Eri takes a moment, " Yes, Izu." I grin at the nickname.

"Alright! I'm going to pack everything for you, get you out of that excuse of a dress, and take you home." I let go of her and get straight to work. I zoom to get her fairy lights down and pack her blankets. I want her out as quickly as possible. Aizawa goes to sign her out, which doesn't take too long.

Finally, ten minutes after eight, we walk out with the beautiful Eri in our arms. Well, mine.

I look at her with a bright smile.

"It's time to go to your forever home, Eri."

* * *

Edited 4/3/2020


	7. Chapter 7

"Mom, are you here?!" I holler into the dysfunctional house with Eri still in my arms. To give you an idea of how much of a mess the place is right now, there are boxes everywhere. We had this house just so we can say we have one. It's not exactly the best thing in the world to say, 'hey, we live in Walmart!'

Don't even get us started on the illegal underground base underneath. I mean, at least the house has a use now.

"I'm in the kitchen! You brought my new son and daughter, right?" Mom's voice echoes through the house. Eraserhead looks - wait - Aizawa looks at me with a pale look. Did you really think you were getting out of that?

"Of course! Come on, Eri." I keep my grip on her as I lead her to the kitchen. Like the rest of the house, it's a mess that is slowly coming together. Mom looks at me than Eri with bright eyes and smile, " Mom, this is Eri. Eri, this is my mom, Inko, who can be yours if you let her." Eri watches Mom with a blank face, but that is expected with all the trauma she has been through.

"H-hi," Eri says, and I think my mom is already falling for her.

"Hi, Eri. If you ever need anything, let me know, okay? Whether it be food or love or straightening Izuku out."

I cut her off with a dramatic gasp, " Excuse me? Eri happens to like how I am, huh, Eri?" I look at her with an innocent smile.

"Aizawa-san says you're trouble, though." I gasp and express fake tears.

"She's already being influenced by the wrong people! Don't worry, I'll protect you!" I don't bother to put her down as I carry her to her room, "I mean, I need to show you where you are sleeping anyway. You're free to explore the house except for the basement. That place holds some illegal stuff, and I don't want you to get hurt. Eventually, I'll let you down there so we can make you the most powerful woman in the world, got it?" She gives me a confused look.

Don't worry: you will eventually understand!

After some soul-searching, I manage to find Eri's room because there is a bunch of fluffy stuff in there. I finally set her down, bend down to her height, and explain, "Alright, Eri. This is your room. I know it's bland, but you will get to decorate it how you like. I noticed how you really like anything soft, so that's what I started with. If you don't like something, just throw it out or something. Everything in here is yours. If you need me, I believe - " I stand up to walk out of the room to check the room next door before coming back, " Yep, the room to your right when you exit is mine, so interrupt whenever you like. For now, I will let you explore the place. Feel free to do what you like, got it?"

Eri gives me a reluctant nod. I give her a soft smile and head to my room because I have to clean and organize. After a deep-cleaning, I start to get my life together. As I do so, I text the squad.

**'Izuku's Mommys and Daddys'**

**'Izuku's Mommys and Daddys' has been changed to 'Eri Protection Squad.'**

**Hot Pocket (Dabi): **Does that mean you are finally done with your daddy phase?

**Green Tea (me) has changed 'Hot Pocket' to 'Hot Pocket Daddy.'**

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **. . .

**Green Tea: **Shut up for five seconds because I have an important announcement to make! Eri has been adopted by Eraserhead and me, and we are now living in the same place! Problem: I live with Eraserhead now!

**Squash (Compress): **You didn't think this through. (PS: I hate my username still.)

**Green Tea: **Obviously! I was worried about Eri! (PS: Change your jacket, and I will consider changing it.)

**Squash: **):

**Bloody Mary (Himiko): **Does that mean we have a new member to the squad?!

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **As someone with younger siblings, hell no.

**Green Tea: **Hell, yes! Sure, she can't participate in some of our stuff, but she will eventually!

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **We all know Momma Inko would not let you do that.

**Green Tea: **Doesn't mean I can't try!

**Extra Sharp Greens (Spinner): **Virus did start a mafia when he was ten, and beat all our asses for us to join him.

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **That doesn't mean he should be running one.

**Bloody Mary: **Then you would have never met us!

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **I regret meeting you all sometimes. Like now.

**Bloody Mary: **)':

**Green Tea: **)':

**Extra Sharp Greens: **)':

**Squash: **)':

**Black Beans (Twice): **)': Bully! :)

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **Asses.

**Bloody Mary: **I just realized something. Is that why Momma Inko was dancing around while cleaning?

**Green** **Tea: **Probably.

**Bloody Mary: **Will we get to see her?! I want to teach her how to wield knives.

**Hot Pocket Daddy:** She is six.

**Bloody Mary: **Age is just a number!

**Squash: **Off-topic. Do you have any ideas of how you are going to continue with Eraserhead around?

**Green Tea: **We torture him until he becomes one of us.

**Bloody Mary:** Can I join?! I would love to see his blood!

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **The worst part is that you would go through with it. I swear your sanity is dropping by the second.

**Green Tea: **You burn people daily, and you're questioning my sanity? I HAVE THE LOWEST KILL-RATE IN THIS SQUAD! If we need to question anybody's sanity, it's your damn father. I at least already accepted the fact I can't be a hero. He is still a hero. It's like watching a grown virgin kid chase after his dreams.

**Extra Sharp Greens: **Dabi just burnt the table.

**Green Tea: **You're paying for that.

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **YOU STARTED IT!

**Black Beans: **You did! No, you did!

**Green Tea:** Do you see me burning shit? You don't. Fucking emo. Anyway, I will work around him for now. At the moment, you all are distracting me from cleaning. Bye, Mommy and Daddys!

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **Why do we follow under him?

**Squash:** He can kill us easily, and he loves us.

**Hot Pocket Daddy: **Death sounds preferable right now.

**'Green Tea' is now offline.**

Well, fuck you too, Dabi. Shove your father's dick down your throat.

"With the things I am hearing from only walking past your room once, I am surprised you haven't been arrested yet." I spin around to see Aizawa leaning on my door frame. My luck. I must have said the second part out loud. If only he knew that I have been arrested multiple times before.

"Let's be honest with ourselves for five seconds here: I have said much worse than that."

"Nevermind that. I'm more worried about the smell coming from your room."

"It's just bleach!"

"It's giving me a headache, and you are in the room with it. Is this normal?"

"Better than getting sick." Without any warning, Aizawa throws his scarf at me, pulls me out of the room, and closes the door, "Sir, I wasn't finished yet!"

"I don't need you passing out on the first day."

"I have only passed out from it once!" He sighs.

"That's one too many. Come on. We need to work on the office, but you aren't allowed bleach this time."

"But, it's your office?"

"We're sharing. I bring you your cases anyway, so it would easier just to keep everything in one room."

"Are you trying to get us fucking killed here?"

"Language. We have a child in the house. However, we are going to be living together, so we need to get used to each other for Eri."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this over with."

* * *

Here's the thing: I would tell you about the room. However, the whole time, Aizawa and I fought over it.

"You're supposed to clean before you place junk down, dumb-dumb!" I snap at Aizawa as he tries placing down the furniture before washing the floor.

"I feel sorry for your workers at Walmart." Aizawa has the nerve to attempt to call me out on the treatment of my workers?! Ass!

"They make more money than an office job, thank you very much! I respect them until they break it!"

"Your standards for the workers are higher than those for a pro-hero almost."

"I happen to have morals of how a Walmart should run. That's why it is considered the best Walmart."

"Despite the drama you start."

"Exactly!"

"You realize that you have a whole segment on Present Mic's show based only on what happens at your Walmart?"

"Yes! He needs to invite me!" Aizawa shakes his head.

"Whatever. Since you are being bossy, I'm taking a nap." The lazy fuck walks out of the room like he owns the place. With determination brewing in my soul, I deep-clean the office.

* * *

The place is clean! Right now, I am building on one of those L-shaped desks to place in the corner of the room. However, I hear a soft knocking sound come from the door. I think I'm going insane, but to be sure, I say, "Come in!"

Good news: I am not going insane. A moment later, the door quietly opens to reveal Eri tangled up in those fairy lights I got her a while ago. My god, the scene is so precious. I have been blessed! I laugh softly while asking, "You need help, Eri-chan?" When I receive a nod, I go over to her and get her out of the mess, " I can help you hang them up if you would like. I can be your personal stepping stool!"

When I receive another nod, I pick Eri up, carry her to her room, and lift her up so she can put the lights. At first, I kind of had to guess when she was done, but she started opening up and bossing me around. Eventually, it was time for lunch, and we ate together like the messy family we are: scary mom, hobo, precious, and mafia boss. Eri is still stiff, but we will get her to become who she is suppose to be.

* * *

**Next Day**

Alright, so all day yesterday was spent cleaning and playing with Eri. Today, life is back on track. Aizawa has to go take care of some kids as he is a teacher.

Yes, I know. The plot twist of the century there.

Mom had work at the hospital, so I decided to bring Eri with me. Since we are above the mafia, I lead her down there to meet two of the squad members. However, before we enter, I bend down to her height to address her, "What I'm about to show you is not legal, so I need you to keep this to yourself, alright? The reason I do this is to help people. Sometimes, the police are not quick enough. That's where the other members and I come in. If I did stuff legally, it would have taken way longer to save you. Do you understand?" When I receive a timid nod, I pull her into a hug for a moment. Then, I stood up, grip her little hand, and lead her in.

Once we enter the base, I cover Er's ears for a moment and scream, "DABI! HIMIKO! WHERE ARE YOU? I GOT ERI!" I uncover her ears as Himiko skips towards us.

Damn, if I knew I can get her to move by bringing a child, I would have done it a long time ago.

Himiko thankfully has some morals when it comes to children. Some. I mean enough to not get her arrested, but enough to still be suspicious. She sits down in front of Eri, "Hi, I'm Toga Himiko! Call me whatever you like. You are so adorable! Izu, why did you keep her from us?!"

"I just got her in custody yesterday, and I wasn't going to bring her then because we had to deal with the house. Get off my back, won't you? Anyway, Himiko and a few others were also involved in saving you." That catches Eri's attention.

She looks at Himiko, "You didn't have to do that, but thank you." Himiko's eyes literally sparkle from that.

"Izuku, I'm taking her from you."

I glare her down, "We all know I can beat you up, so don't even try. Where is Dabi?"

"Here. I think you already have Izu wrapped around your finger, Eri." Dabi announces his presence. I can see Eri stiffen.

"I know he looks scary, but that's just to hide how cuddly he is on the inside. Eri, this is Dabi. He's another one who saved you." Like with Himiko, Eri does the same thing with Dabi but then looks at me with confusion. Thankfully, Eri covers me before Dabi attacks me for the first comment.

"What does 'wrapped around your finger' mean?"

Fucking Dabi answers her, "It means you can boss him around all you want. You want his black heart. Good job."

I sigh, "If I wanted to be insulted, I would have gone to a roast club, you prune! You are literally in my base! Anyway, Eri, these two, I, and fo-three others, are more than willing to protect you with our lives. You are always safe. They might be suspicious, but we will get it done."

Jeez, I'm still thinking of Big Sis Magne. She would have loved to doll up Eri. For anyone curious about what happened to her, we were never able to recover her body. She burnt down with all those other damn villains. We did do a private funeral for her, but it still hurts sometimes. She was my side babe, after all!

This got sad quickly. We need to get back on track.

"Eventually, I will have one of them babysit with you because I trust them with my life. Not right now because I know you prefer to be near someone, you know. Here, let me show you around! Consider it a second home, okay?"

With a nod, I take her hand and lead her around to the places I can show her. I can't really show her the weapon rooms yet. Himiko and Dabi tag with us, and I can tell they like the girl a lot.

TAKE THAT, BITCHES!


	8. Chapter 8

Who would have thought that the next chapter of my life story would be eleven months later? Not me!

Let me tell you: there is a lot of updates. Let's start the most important one.

Eri.

Eri has been doing bloody fantastic! Slowly, everybody pitched in to help her integrate into society in their unique ways. I taught her memes, so she can have some culture. Aizawa has been training her quirk so she can have some control. That way, she can be more confident in her abilities. Mom informed her about what is normal and not. For example, she says it's not typical for a kid to go around cursing and shouting memes.

I don't see the problem in that, but I digress.

Himiko instructed her on how to use a knife. Before you peeps call me out on being a horrible parent, I would like to inform everyone that she needs to defend herself somehow. Sure, Aizawa or I could teach her standard self-defense, but let us be honest with ourselves for a moment.

If someone messes with Eri, we want them dead.

Then Dabi has been playing with Eri. Despite his appearance, he is the calmest in the killer squad and will deal with anything. Mr. Compress taught her magic as he is the goddamn magician in the group. Honestly, it's more to give her a reason to prank me. He's mean like that. Spinner decided it was a great idea to teach her how to fucking drive of all things. Twice hasn't been around her too much, but he taught her how to use a ruler, at least.

Imagine having to explain to Aizawa why Eri's skill set is so random.

'These are necessary skills for a six-year-old to know in life, sir! I mean, Eri will need to know eventually! I am just giving her an advantage in survival.'

Obviously, Aizawa didn't believe that reasoning. Oh well, he can suck it.

Did I mention Eri is six? Yes, a six-year-old knowing how to use a knife and drive. Let that wrap around your head.

The only legit thing that she has learned that is appropriate that isn't school work is the piano. I thought it would help that she had a hobby some sort, so I might as well introduce her to the art of music. She has a talent for it!

Oh, and I may or may not have spoiled Eri with a bunch of clothes. Her favorite is this red overalls skirt, white t-shirt, and these little red booties. She even has a purse with it.

Next important thing: we are losing members of the Mafia.

This has been going on for a little while, and I am glad I know the reason why. One of my undercover members reported that the group they are involved in was growing in numbers, but they couldn't specify why. They can't really explain anything. They can only tell one hidden fact, or else the cover is blown. I can't message questions either. It would be too suspicious. The only thing I know is that the undercover agent there, and that they must have something worthwhile if my recruits are going to them.

For those who have no idea how we recruit members in the mafia, let me explain. Every person in Mafia was a vigilante or villain that is forced under our protection.

Think of it as a redemption program. However, if you decide to screw with us, you are done for, aka, you're dead.

The reason I noticed is that in some of the areas that I had Mafia members in, the crime rate spiked. After some research, I found that some of my members were no longer there. There wasn't any trace of where they want.

This is the most frustrating case in a while, and it isn't even one of my legal cases!

I'll figure it out eventually. No point in getting frustrated over it.

Is there anything else? Oh, Aizawa and I haven't killed each other yet! Actually, for how quickly we get shit done, the government paired us up to be partners.

Yay... please take note of my suffering.

Okay, I may be slightly over-dramatic, but I am not far off! The best way of describing it is it's like having a hormonal emo teenager in the house. However, he is always grumpy.

We have gotten along better in the past months, but that doesn't mean we haven't had our rough spots. Before, we only saw each other a few times a week because he was my trainer.

Wait, I never told you about our past! Let me give you the basics.

Aizawa and I have known one another for three years since I was 12 when I first became a detective. With how fast I was climbing the ranks, the government wanted me to be able to protect myself, so they hired Aizawa as my trainer. At this time, I have been a vigilante for a year with another year of training under someone else, so I had some experience. I can tell you that I was confident, and I had every right to be as I nearly won. The only problem was the stupid capture weapon he keeps around his neck, so he was able to snarl me at the last second. From there, our partnership blossomed into him, teaching me how to use weapons (that don't kill). When he realized that I was a detective, he gave me a case that he needed help with, and I solved it without a problem. Even when my training was finish, Aizawa still came by with cases.

That's our history! Moving on!

Anyway, now, I see him consistently. That makes it hard to do my vigilante work, but I make do with what I got.

Oh, and I guess it's important to note that he got his new class of hero students at UA. He's distracted with them, at least, notably because he only expelled one student.

I am surprised because Aizawa is known for expelling most, if not all, of his class, so credit goes to him for that. They must have potential.

Either way, it makes my life much easier even if I have to deal with his attitude problem afterward.

That's it! It's time to get back to the story!

Let's go!

* * *

I was in my office doing paperwork minding my business, and Eri is practicing piano like the precious little girl she is when I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I holler.

One of my employees enters reluctantly, "Uh, sir, one of the groups you hate is protesting in front again."

"Which one?"

"The flat-earthers." I groan as I stand up.

"Alright, Eri, sweetheart, stay here and keep up the good work. I have to go kick some sense in some bitches."

Eri suddenly stops playing, glares at me in the cutest way possible, and states," No cursing!" Oh my gosh, she is crossing her arms and everything! She is becoming me! I am so flipping proud right now, but it's hard to keep a straight face.

"Got it!" After giving her a quick kiss on her head (literally the only person I will do it for despite my germaphobia), I head outside to see the crowd dancing in front of one of the entrances while chanting 'the Earth is flat!'

Oh boy.

I go over to them and clap my hands, "Didn't I tell ya'll that you can't fucking do this here? Until never, stop spreading false information." I can see phones pulled out and recording. Honestly, this is so normal it's ridiculous. I cause a lot of drama here. For fuck sakes, I have a segment in Present Mic's radiostation because of it!

One of the idiots decide to attempt to argue with me, "Yet the anti-Endeavors can protest?" For anyone curious, Endeavor is the number two hero with a quirk called Hellfire. Basically, he sucks.

"Yes."

"WHY?!"

"Because Endeavor sucks ass. Like, he is a horrible hero. He fights and does cases, but he certainly doesn't save people. In fact, he has accidentally killed people before because of how reckless he is! I choose who protests and not because this is my property. Now, you have two minutes to get off the property. If you are not off by then, I will grab my megaphone and start screeching."

That gets them off the property real quick.

I go back inside and head back to my office when I hear Eri's voice through the door, " Izu is busy, please hold. No, you can't threaten me with the tickle monster!" She really is becoming me. I enter the room, and I see her eyes light up as she raises my phone to me, "It's for you!"

With a smile, I ruffle Eri's hair as I take the phone, "Good job, Eri! Why don't you go annoy one of the employees?" She salutes me as she grabs her playing cards and runs out. I chuckle as I bring the phone to my ear, "Why the flip were you threatening Eri, Eraser?"

_"Don't be dramatic. I need you to come to UA. The media broke through the gate, and Nezu wants you on the case." _Aizawa says in his dull tone through the phone. I start getting my things together.

"How long ago?"

_"Ten minutes. We were struggling to get the media out."_

"Fuck, the idiots probably messed up with evidence. Give me ten minutes to get there, and expect Eri with me."

_"Don't take the motorcycle if she is with you."_

"...make that 20. See you." I hang up, fix my jacket, and head out to look for Eri while calling for a taxi.

* * *

Traffic was a bitch, so it took us an extra five minutes to get there.

When we step out of the taxi, I bend down to Eri's height, " Alright, Eri. This place is enormous, so I want you to always hold my hand and stay close, okay? We are probably going to get lost with how easily I can get lost, but I don't want to be without you, alright?"

"Yes, Izu!" Eri exclaims, but I can tell she is nervous because the UA building can be frightening, and that means a lot of new people. She is getting people, but she is still shy of new people. Hand-in-hand, we walk to the gate. Outside of the gate, Aizawa, along with Nezu (a literal smart rat), Power-loader (a mole and also the support lab teacher), and Hound Dog (a dog and even the school counselor). I give her hand a comforting squeeze as we approach.

Nezu walks forward, looking way too happy, "Am I a mouse? Am I a bear? Whatever I may be, I am the principal of UA highschool! You must be Detective Izuku and Eri. I have heard so much about you two!" What kind of drugs is he on?

"Yip yip. Jeez, they didn't leave anything behind, huh? The gate is far gone. The gate was steel, right?" Nezu starts grinning.

"Correct."

"They must have had contact with the gate because of the accuracy, or they are really flipping good with their quirk. However, I am sticking with contact. With no evidence left behind and the surrounding walls showing no signs of damage, I think a disappearing quirk of some sort like the Vigilante or similar to that. If the stupid media wasn't here, I would have more. Do we have footage?"

"Of course! Come this way. Aizawa, can you take Eri for a bit?" Nezu eyes hold a distinct look despite his cheerful facial structures. He has to have something planned. I don't know what, but he does.

Aizawa nods and walks over, taking Eri's hand. However, before he moves away, he leans forward and whispers, "Be careful." With that, Eri and Aizawa leave. After I nod at Power-loader and Hound Dog, Nezu and I head to his office.

* * *

Honestly, I feel like God is about to strike me down.

Nezu sits in this desk that is way too big, and here I am standing in front of Stewart Little. For some reason, he isn't saying anything. I have no patience for this.

I start the conversation, "You're after something, so go ahead and say it."

Nezu chuckles, " You always were impatient, huh, Virus?"

I huff out a laugh. Well, this is dangerous. I don't know what Nezu could be after, but he has me wrapped around his finger. Fuck. For now, I need to keep up my persona.

I grin, "Should have known. What are you going to do with it? Report it? I deny that's your style, so what's the deal?" No point in asking how Nezu figured it out.

"I promise I am not going to report you as long as you do what I am about to ask."

"Ooo, do I get to kill someone?" I tease stupidly.

"If it's to protect my students, yes. I won't reveal your identity if you protect the students. You have more access to the underground than me, so you know way more than I do."

"It has something to do with the break-in, yes?"

"I believe this will give some context. Come here." I walk up to his desk as he spins the monitor around to face me. On the monitor is the footage of the gate. I watch it crumble into dust, and then the media rushing in.

Oh, that clicks.

"We have already checked the reporters?" I ask. I am so glad I can finally use my underground information.

"Yes," Nezu responds with a smile.

"You believe the media was used as a distraction to enter your school, right? Have you checked where you hold your information?"

"Of course, and the information was shuffled."

"Can I see the footage?"

"We don't have cameras in there." I suddenly look at him with the most exasperated look.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're supposed to be the most secure school, yet you don't have cameras in your information room?!"

"We don't have cameras in general. We only have it around the boundaries." I so want to smash my head on his desk right now.

"Here's a recommendation: stop putting so much money in flipping robots because the exam is shit anyway and invest it into bloody cameras! You're just fucking lucky I have an idea of what happened!"

"Oh?"

"One of my undercover people has a warp quirk that allows them to go anywhere as long as they have coordinates. That would line up with the rising crime rate in the nearby towns because some of my members have been disappearing. Apparently, they are going to the group that the undercover agent is in. If all my speculations are correct, they plan on attacking your dumbass school."

"Any idea why?" I sigh as I run my hand through my hair.

"I have two ideas: the first is just for attention. the second, and correct me if I am wrong, but you hired All Might as a teacher this year, right?"

"Yes. What are you pointing at?"

"Just another dumbass group trying to kill All Might. I don't know why they would risk death for that, but alright. But damn, you're in a dangerous situation. My members are not weaklings. I mean, they aren't powerful, but they aren't weak either."

"Could you defeat them if they were to attack the school?"

"Do you not keep track of me?"

"That is true. Based on this meeting, I would like your help in protecting UA. Obviously, I can't have you going around in your usual uniform. However, if you know when and where the attack is, you can break in and do what you will without hurting the students or staff."

"Question: Do I get to punch Eraserhead in the face? Like, I need some revenge, and I am desperate at this point."

"As long as you don't permanently injure him. Do you accept?"

"Under that guideline? Yes."

"I have another request."

"Great, what now?"

"I want you around UA to help the students. Your skills would be beneficial."

I sigh, "I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope! Now, here's your keycard, and I want you to go ahead and meet class 1-A. They will be your guinea pigs. I expect great things from you, Virus." I take the card as I glare at the way too hyper rat.

"Yada yada, where is 1-A? You need someone to show me unless you want me to get lost in your hell hole."

"I'll let Midnight guide you there. See you soon!" I don't even bother to respond as I leave the room.

Damn rat.


	9. Chapter 9

I can tell you that meeting Midnight was not on my to-do list. However, I won't miss out on this opportunity. I heard she is the gossip queen at the school, and I need some on Aizawa.

"Oh, you must be Midoriya!" I hear a seductive voice. I turn around to see Midnight.

Honestly, I need to describe Midnight to you because I have no idea how she is a teacher here. I am not lying when I say her costume is a fucking dom outfit. I don't have a problem with it, but I would suspect that to get some parent complaints. It doesn't help that she has a sexy body. It's not to be a pervert, but it's the truth. Heck, her name is the +18 Hero: Midnight! Then, she has this gorgeous long black hair with bright red lipstick and mask.

We should probably focus on the conversation.

"Izuku Midoriya at your service! And you are obviously Midnight. Nice to meet you! However, how do you know me?"

Midnight smirks, "Shouta complains about you a lot. Speaking of him, you need to go to him, right?" Alright, so good to know that they are close based on first names.

"Yeah, he has Eri, and I want her back. Oh, and I want some gossip on him while we walk."

"Oh, oh, oh, you want to use it against him?" She starts leading the way as she giggles.

"Obviously, but first, I want you to confirm something with me: does he love Present Mic?" Midnight looks at me with a particular look in her eyes.

"You solved that quickly."

"He complains too much about the man for there not to be something there."

"I'm impressed already! They have been like that for fifteen years!" I suddenly stop to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. I am still loud a minute later.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I know what I need to do now.

"Uh-huh! I have tried multiple times, but they are both so hard-headed! It's like watching a soap opera!" Now that is just sad.

"Alright, I have an idea. Give me your number, and we will discuss plans to get them together."

"Seriously?!" I see the excitement already as Midnight pulls out her phone.

"Yip yip!" I take her phone, enter the number, and hand it back.

"Are you trying to flirt with me, or do you go by your given name?" Midnight purrs.

"I go by my given name."

"You can call me Kayama then. This is your drop-off point." I look to see Aizawa standing outside of the door against the wall, and I can't help my nerves as I start shaking. Where is Eri?

"See you later, Kayama!" I say with less enthusiasm than usual as I go to him. I hear her say goodbye, but it slips my mind, "Where is Eri?"

"With Eri's permission, I have her inside the room with the students for an experiment. I told them to leave her alone, but they are failing miserably." I can hear all the student's excited voices inside; however, I am proud to announce that I can listen to her sassy voice inside.

"Didn't Sho tell you to leave me alone?" Eri says with her soft voice through the door. They must be surrounding her because I hear a slight hesitance in her voice. I reach in my pockets and grip my weapons.

"If they start something, you can stop them. Don't kill them." Aizawa informs me.

**"If they fuck with Eri, they are going to be choked out with hesitation,"** I say, but I make sure to use a different tone, so I don't sound like Virus.

"I can expel them."

"That's something," I mutter.

For the first few minutes, everyone was going okay. I wanted to walk in there multiple times because the students are getting close, but Aizawa keeps threatening to hide her from me, so I have to hold myself back.

However, Eri ends up picking on the wrong person.

"Why he look angry?" I assume she is pointing at somebody, but I can't see.

"I AM NOT ANGRY!" I stiffen up and grip my weapons tighter. Oh fuck, I can recognize that voice even if I was deaf for 30 years. Aizawa must have noticed my reaction because he is standing up now.

"You're reaction says otherwise, though." Eri, sweetheart, you're cute. However, not everyone sees it like the boy you are challenging. She really has been around me too much if she is picking fights like this. Maybe she thinks the class will defend her? I don't know.

Suddenly, I hear an explosion from inside. I react purely on instinct. My body moves faster than my fucking brain.

I burst into the room with my weapons at hand, zoom to the back of the room, and wrap them around a certain boy's wrists. Before he has a chance to react, I pull him out of his seat and pin him to the back wall.

I growl, **"I don't care what you were doing. You don't use your quirk around Eri," **I face the class, **"Back off of her. You're overwhelming her."** The students around her back off immediately. I wouldn't usually use my ability like this, but damn, I want them off of her. I let go of the boy against the wall and unravel the rope weapon. Wrong move on my part as he spins around. The moment he sees me, he gets way too close for my liking. It pisses me off more because he leans down to my height.

"What the hell are you doing here, Deku?!" I grin predatory.

"Midoriya, don't-" Too later, Eraser. Taking the distraction, I grab his wrist, spin him around, and punch him in certain places of his back. With that, he collapses. I hear a sigh from Aizawa, "You better not have injured him permanently."

I am too happy to care! I have finally gotten revenge on my childhood bully! Say hello to Bakugo Katsuki; that one asshole that everyone seems to crush on for some dumb reason!

Like, I'm cuter, people.

Anyway, Bakugo has this spikey blonde hair, red eyes, and a resting bitch face. His UA uniform isn't even tucked in, making him look more like an ass. His quirk matches his explosive personality: explosion! Yeah, a hero in this school has an explosion quirk! Yet, in Minecraft, you're considered a damn troll if you use TNT.

What kind of BS is that? Like, I have marks to prove he has used his quirk on me! However, because I am quirkless, I don't matter.

Oh, if you only knew how many bitches I have killed! Whatever.

A rather loud student interrupts, "Aizawa-sensei, sir, shouldn't you be capturing him? He has injured a student! And who is he?" Capture now, ask questions later. I mean, that isn't the wrong order. I still consider it annoying.

Wait, blue hair, black eyes, similar looks, engine quirk. That's Ingenium's brother! Oh shit!

Before Aizawa has a chance to say anything, Eri stands and wanders in front of the boy with her arms crossed.

Eri huffs, "That's Izu! He didn't hurt meanie! He only para-para-, Izu, what's the word?" Oh my gosh, she is precious. I can see the stars in some of the student's eyes.

My mood takes a one-eighty when I smile, "Paralyzed."

"Paralyzed! He will be normal in a few minutes!" Eri exclaims as she wanders over to me and pats me on the leg, " He just protecting me!" Jeez, she can probably rule the world with her cuteness. I hear Aizawa sigh as he drags himself to the front. Then, he glares at me.

"Want to introduce yourself?" Aizawa asks in that tired voice. I nod as I take Eri's hand and go to the front next to him. With a grin, I pull out my weapon of choice with one hand while still having Eri's hand in the other.

A yo-yo. I always use it as a conversation starter.

"Yo yo, what's up? I'm Izuku Midoriya: Detective and UA detective now, Eri's father, and Aizawa's husband!" I feel Aizawa whack me upside the head.

"Ignore the last part. Everything else is correct. Since he is staying here, feel free to ask questions." This man has the nerve to go to the corner of his room, crawl in his sleeping bag, and pass out. He left me with hooligans. I sigh as I see everyone looking at me with reluctance.

"Damn, ya'll suck. I'm not about to eat ya'll. Just raise your hand, and I'll answer what I can." I mean, I can kill, but I'm not supposed to reveal that.

Immediately, lots of people raise their hands. I adjust the glasses on my face and decide to choose Ingenium's brother first because of curiosity.

"How did you paralyze Bakugo, and how long should we suspect him out of commission, Midoriya, sir?" Oh, that professionalism is going to kill me.

"I used chi-blocking on him, and probably a minute or so. I recommend the skill to anyone, but it's dangerous because you can permanently paralyze someone if you aren't careful."

"Then why do you use it on him?"

"First off, not your turn. However, I'll answer it only to fix everybody's curiosity. I have a few years of practice under my belt. I know exactly where to hit. Next, let's go with-"

"ME, YOU BASTARD!" Bakugo growls as he goes back to his seat. I pull Eri close to me as I stare him down.

"Alright. What?"

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I'm on the new case here. I am a top detective. Now straighten out your damn attitude, and let me answer without the hormones coming out! Kermit, you're next!" I am not lying when I say this girl looks like Kermit. She has a frog quirk from what I can tell, and her green hair matches mine, so I may have fell for that.

"HEY-!" Ignore him, everybody.

"Should you be cursing in front of Eri-chan?"

"No, but I taught her early on what words she shouldn't use. I have no self-restraint. Next, Spikey Red." The boy I chose has spikey red hair, red eyes, and sharp teeth.

"You are so manly! What did you use to restrain him?" I pull out my yo-yo once again and show the class.

I have been holding off explaining this for far too long. You know those bands that you snap on your wrist, and they become a bracelet? Imagine that and Aizawa's scarf had a baby. That would be the yo-yo!

When I became Aizawa's student, I had to learn how to use his scarf. However, I kind of hated it because I wanted to immediately knock people out. With some experimenting and fighting Aizawa, I came up with the yo-yo that I'm allowed to keep on me for a weapon!

The yo-yo part itself is metal with a mirror on each side so I can blind or stalk people behind me. The string is made up of a flexible but durable metal that lets me do the snapping thing. It extends about 15 feet (4.7 meters), so I can get some attacks in at midrange. At the end of the string, there is a loop that goes around my wrist along with a solid metal piece with a switch. When I press the switch, it brings it back to me.

While Aizawa's scarf is used for trapping his opponents, the yo-yos are used for bringing the people closer or trip them up. From there, I approach to knock them out. Of course, if the pussys keep running, I can swing at their head to give them a concussion, at least!

The best part is that it's portable in my pockets, so I don't look suspicious as fuck when I arrive in a tuxedo and scarf that doesn't match!

Now that you know my weapon, I won't tell you my response to Spikey Red. It's the same thing.

After some answering some questions and guaranteeing that I am Aizawa's husband (I'll fix that later when he starts dating Present mic), I head out with Eri while leaving Aizawa with some hyper students.

I'm such a good friend!

However, I am surprised they didn't ask about my quirk. I guess I distracted them enough to forget about that.

* * *

As Virus, I have one goal tonight: I need to kill a traitor.

Think of it as a little threat that says, 'bitch, you leave the squad, you're dead to me literally!'

The good news for me is that I know exactly who to go to for that!

"Dabi, I need to kill a bitch!" I exclaim as I enter the base as Virus. Dabi is currently in the kitchen with Himiko and my Mom. Eri is now at the other home with Aizawa

Mom snaps, "Izuku, language!" I huff but remain quiet. I would like to mention my mom said nothing about the killing part. You know she is too used to it when she says nothing about it.

Dabi looks up at me with a bored look, "And you're telling me why?"

"I need you to get me in your battle tournament. One of them is there."

He grunts, "Fine."

Himiko perks up, "Can I watch?!"

I smirk, "Sure, why not?"

* * *

I get that I can be scary to civilians.

However, for villains to move out of my way when I enter? I didn't think so. Heck, the dude in front didn't even stop me from entering! I didn't need Dabi as a backup to let me in!

I approach the counter where I sign up to fight, " Is there somebody with a quirk that can throw themselves around like a swingball?"

"Y-yes, why?" Obviously, this boy is not a full-fledged villain.

"Set me up with him." He doesn't even hesitate to do so! From what I heard, this man is now a top fighter here.

Too bad, he is about to die! Wait.

I turn to Dabi, "I can kill people, right?"

"Yeah." He responds. Alright then.

After a few minutes of waiting, I am standing outside the ring.

"Have fun, Virus!" Himiko encourages.

"Will do!"

Then, the announcer comes on.

"TO THE LEFT, WE HAVE THE TOP TIER FIGHTER SLINGY!" Slingy? What a shit name. I hear the crowd roar in excitement, "TO THE RIGHT, WE HAVE- WAIT, AM I READING THIS RIGHT? I AM? OH GAWD! SAY HELLO TO THE TOP VIGILANTE IN JAPAN, VIRUS!"

Grinning under my mask, I enter the now silent playing field. I look up to see my opponent shaking in his boots.

"V-virus, what are you d-d-doing here?" He asks.

"Oh, you know, showing what will happen when someone leaves my team." I watch him go pale. Good.

**Make him suffer the** **consequences.**

The announcer takes a moment "AND BEGIN!"

I remain still as 'Slingy' throws himself at me at top speeds.

Not fast enough for this bitch.

I slide to the left, and when the right moment comes, I reach and grab his left arm. He screams as I electrocute him and tighten my grip, so the claws dig deep into his arm, but I'm not done. Using the moment he had created, I swing him around and slam him into the wall. I don't give him a chance as I zoom forward and kick him in the ribs. The shattering bones can be heard as I do so multiple times. He starts to cough up blood, pleading for mercy, yet I make him suffer further. I dislocate every limb from his body. By the end, he is unconscious.

Taking the chance, I slam my claws through his skull to officially kill him. I step back to admire my work. Then, I face the audience.

**"If anyone tries to leave the Mafia, this is what will happen to you. I will make sure to have you suffer as long as possible."**

With my finishing statement, I leave the place covered in blood with Dabi and Himiko.


	10. Chapter 10

I think Aizawa hates me.

LOOK. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR BOSS FUCKING THREATENED ME, MAN!

Besides that, everything has been going well!

After triggering Bakugo, Eri had a special lesson about knowing who she can screw with. I also made sure she carries around a pocket knife with her much to Aizawa's despise.

If Eri wasn't trained by Himiko, I would understand. However, Aizawa doesn't know that. Hopefully, I never have to tell him the truth.

Today was supposed to be a relaxation day. I haven't taken a break in a year, and I wanted to spend time with Eri.

Does that plan go through? No. I can't even do the meme anymore. It's just no.

God, what did I do in my last life to deserve this?

Let me set the scene.

Eri and I are at the park on the swings. I'm pushing her on it like a good brother should when I receive a message from my vigilante phone. I let Eri swing by herself for a moment as I pull out my phone to read.

**Undercover #420:** USJ, 30 minutes.

USJ? Mate, you didn't give me a lot of information. I can't even ask what they mean. I don't know any locations that are named that-

Wait a moment. Doesn't UA have a facility called the USJ? Hold up. I decide to text my newest connection.

**Virus: **Does UA have a facility named USJ?

**Nezu: **Yes. Why?

Alright then.

**Virus: **Do you have something going on there in 30 minutes?

**Nezu: **Class 1-A has a training session at that time. Is there an attack planned?

**Virus: **Like I fucking know. My undercover agents have to be cryptic as fuck. I'll break in and see.

**Nezu: **Don't worry about that! I made it so you can go in without the security going off!

**Virus: **Oh, bless, thank you! Can you send me a map of where it is?

**Nezu: **_Image is sent._

**Virus: **Thank you!

**Nezu: **Don't let any of my students get hurt, or you will regret living.

**Virus: **I already regret that, but whatevs! See ya!

AM I NOT ALLOWED ONE DAY TO SPOIL ERI?!

"Eri, I know we just got a free day today, but we need to head back. Something is going on, and I might have to beat up some hoes. I'll let you do what you want with the after. Got it?" I say. I feel so bad.

Eri huffs, "Jerks. If it's to save someone, you need to hurry, Izu!" I smile as I lift her up.

"All aboard the choo choo train! YEET!" With that, I zoom off at top speeds to the Walmart.

* * *

"HIMIKO, DABI, I NEED YOU TO WATCH ERI!"

I set Eri on the ground, get suited up, and zoom out, leaving behind the confusion.

* * *

FUCK THE POLICE!

COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND!

Why do they keep thinking they will get me? They literally marked me as one of the fastest vigilantes on top of being the best.

Basically, I had to escape the police because I apparently can't walk with everyone else.

As Nezu said, I zoom into UA without a problem. Thank above! Now, I follow Nezu's map and find my way to the USJ. However, Nezu won't cancel the whole class trip thing, so I will have to do it myself. I'm hoping to lock them out, but I did myself one better.

Quietly, I sneak in to find the Blackhole Hero: Thirteen chilling, presumably waiting for class 1-A. Welp, don't mind if I do! I ain't going to murder them, or even hurt them in that matter, but I can at least give myself a show. Thirteen is a rescue hero, so they aren't usually on the battlefield. I mean, they can if they want people to stop existing.

That doesn't go well over the Hero Commission despite the number two hero being known for roasting villains.

With speed and fighting ability on my side, I jump behind Thirteen and knock them out presumably.

Before you call me out, Nezu said that the students must be safe. He said shit about the teachers.

I drag them out of UA, and I considered building a huge cross to make it more dramatic, but my luck, class 1-A is already here. The first thing they see when they get off the bus?

Me coming out with Thirteen's unconscious body.

"Everyone, step back!" Eraserhead snaps as he forces his way off the bus, "What are you doing here, Virus?" I can hear the intensity in the air when he announces that. The children are frozen in place.

I chuckle, "I need you to take Thirteen and your class and hip-hoppity out of here! There might be some drama about to start!"

"Why should I believe this isn't a trap?"

"When have I ever done that to you, Eraser? At most, I have done pranks to you! Besides, I'm not someone to lie! You know my record better than anybody in this country!" Eraserhead carefully watches my position. In all honesty, I can defeat him if needed. Unlike a lot of heroes who fight me, he isn't a pushover. However, that doesn't mean he is impossible to defeat.

For all I know, I have been going easy because I have a soft spot for the guy.

Finally, Eraserhead gives, "Everyone get on the bus." I drop Thirteen and step back. And here I thought everything was going to go fine and dandy.

Remember Bakugo? Yeah, he decides to speak up.

"WE ARE JUST GOING TO LET HIM WIN?!" Bakugo growls as he stomps toward me.

I huff, "Eraser, when did you get a chihuahua in your class?"

"Bakugo, step back. If you engage, I will have no choice but to expel you. That goes to everybody." Eraserhead states. Bakugo scowls like a puppy and makes his way to the bus with the other students. When he lifts up Thirteen, he glares me down, "I'm sending the teachers after you."

"Go right on ahead! I might need help with this." I say brightly. With a shake of the head, he gets on the bus and moves out.

That's problem one out of the way. The possible problem two should be the fun part. I reenter the USJ to study the area- well, areas.

You see, the USJ, from intense research, is an area built to practice rescue. It's separated into sections suited for different types of relief from boat to mountain to city. The only normal space for a building is the center with a little water fountain.

I sit down, cross-legged at the staircase.

Two minutes go by.

That's when I feel the tingle down my spine. I stand up and casually wait for whatever is going to happen. It seems the undercover agent is right when I see a purple portal appear in the middle of the room to let out villains. I grin because these guys might be a challenge.

However, that quickly turns to anger. I recognize these people.

These people were initially in the Mafia!

I snarl when more come out. I press the emergency button to call the squad, but of course, they have someone fucking with the signal. Thankfully, it will send a message if it's off the radar for more than five minutes, along with the last location it got.

A cocky voice fills the room, "Where is All Might? The heroes?! The students?!"

I smirk from under my mask, chuckling darkly, **"Karma is coming to collect his debt, bitch."**

Immediately, everyone looks at me, and some of the members drop on their knees. They know I will kill them if they resist now.

The presumed leader steps forward, and...that has to be the shittiest costume I have seen yet. He wears all black PJs while having hands randomly groping parts of his body, including his face. He has dry pale-blue hair that needs some moisturizer. I don't even want to see his face if his hair is that bad. Bless that hand that covers his face.

"Oh, the infamous Virus is here. How do you feel about me taking all your NPCs?" Oh, this boy playing with fire now.

"I won't lie kinda salty. However, this is more of a minor inconvenience. Want to tell me your name before I beat your ass like your momma should have?"

The handyman huffs, "I am Shigaraki Tomura, and we are the League of Villains!"

I am so sorry. I couldn't take Shiggy seriously. I busted out laughing the moment he said that.

**"LIKE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! OH, LET ME END THIS NOW!"**

With newfound determination to end this mess now, I manage to run through a majority of the crowd without them noticing due to speed. When I go to jump him, the portal appears in front of me and forces me to fall through.

Wait, why didn't I recognize this man before?! This is my undercover agent Kurogiri, or 420 for smoke in my book! The man is literal purple smoke, and it allows him to transport anywhere with coordinates. Despite how useful of a quirk it is, he is an undercover agent because of how valuable it is. It's easy to convince a group to let you join if your quirk is free transportation.

Alright, I know what to expect now.

I get transported above the central area and start falling. Even though I can upright myself, I can hear gunshots from below. I look to see the three people with fingers as guns shooting.

Too bad, they are fucking dumb because they are in a row.

I adjust myself into a diving position and go straight at the middle dude. I feel a graze of one bullet, but I know it could be much worst, so I'll take it. At the right moment, I readjust so I land on my metal-toe shoes, shoot my claws to electrocute the people beside them him, and smash the dude down with my body. Loud cracks and screams fill the air, bring a smile to my face.

Three down. Only a few more before the villains give up to go. I lightly kick the dude's face before getting off of them. He might be dead as there is blood coming out of his mouth, but oh well.

I face the crowd to see more of them dropping, "**Whose next?"**

Nobody moves.

Obviously, this puts handy's panties in a twist, "GO AFTER HIM!"

That gets them moving. The idiots start running at me, but they are slow as FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

With a psychotic grin, I dash at them and simply touch a part of them with the electric portion of my gloves. I don't need unnecessary bloodshed because that's a bitch to clean out of my clothes.

Too bad, I couldn't electrocute this one dude with rocky blue skin, so I ripped his eyeballs out, but that's a minor detail.

It doesn't help that they are so flipping easy to dodge. You would have thought that the dumbasses were never trained by the Mafia.

Disappointments! Hell, it only takes two minutes to defeat them! Everyone else is on their knees.

That's when I hear laughing from Not Handsome, "Those NPCs may have not given you a challenge, but this will. Nomu, attack."

At that moment, I relied purely on instinct. I throw myself to the right to find a massive blue creature without a shirt and a beak with teeth after me. I barely get a chance to look when I pivot on my right foot to narrowly avoid a punch. I claw its arm a good few inches deep, causing blood to splatter on my mask, hair, and clothes. It squeals but keeps going. I duck and roll under the creature to the other side. I jump on its back and stab my claws with electricity into only to notice two problems.

One: It's absorbing the electricity like it is nothing.

Two: It's regenerating any scratches I make.

That has to be two different quirks. Growling, I climb to Nomu's head and stab its exposed brain. I rip it apart piece by piece and throw it to the ground.

However, it's regenerating its brain. FUCK! AND YUCKY! BUT FUCK!

It seems to be done with my bullshit because it plucks me from its brain and slams me at the wall. Large cracks echo throughout my body as I am pretty sure I have a concussion now, along with a broken spine! My body falls to the floor. At least I can feel my legs. Satisfied laughter fills the air.

"WHO KNEW THAT THE TOP VIGILANTE VIRUS CAN BE TAKEN OUT SO EASILY?! NOMU, MAKE HIM SUFFER AND FINISH HIM!"

I use my arms and legs in an attempt to throw myself out of the way, but it doesn't work.

The Nomu stands above me to pin me down.

Pain screams from my right arm as it snaps it in half like the neck of a bird.

What? Not my fault that I did that.

I bite my lip as it moves to my left hand.

Suddenly, intense heat surrounds me along with squealing.

"VIRUS, GET OUT OF THERE!" Oh, it's Dabi. Hallelujah, they made it right on time! Cursing underneath my mask, I crawl away from it, not caring what is happening behind me.

I hear steps in front of me. I look up to see Mr. Compress.

"Take a rest, kid. We can take over the show from here."

The last thing I see is Compress and the blue flames around us as he puts me in his quirk.


	11. Chapter 11

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I ain't fighting blue hulk ever again. That's the dumbest thing I have done this year besides getting a nipple piercing.

Where the fuck am I?

Actually, rewind time, what was the last thing that happened? Wait, it's the blue hulk thing. Man, I'm done. Obviously, I lost that fight because I don't have All Might's strength that the beast was made for. I barely matched it in speed, and I'm considered one of the fastest vigilantes! If I didn't stop, I estimate five more minutes before I was out.

I give zero fucks about that right now. Currently, I'm hungry.

Opening my eyes, I am given a dark room, AKA, I am not in heaven yet. YAY, I DIDN'T DIE TO THAT THING! Dying is not on the to-do list until Eri is an elder. Her children are screwed, but Eri is on the safe-list.

I really need to stop getting distracted.

I sit up only for some pain to knock in my spine and say, 'bitch, stay down.'

"Fuck." I curse as I lay down.

An elderly woman voice fills the room, "Language, Izuku!" Hold the phone?

"Grandma Chiyo is that you?! Did the squad kidnap you again?" I exclaim. Carefully, I turn my head to see my lord and savior.

Grandma Chiyo. However, most of you probably know her as the Youthful (Pfft) Heroine: Recovery Girl!

We have a history.

Recovery Girl is a short elderly nurse that really should retire, but she hasn't and probably never will. Recovery Girl's quirk Heal allows her to use the person's energy to heal themselves quickly. This makes her an excellent nurse if you can get past her rage over you hurting yourself in the first place. People avoid her for a reason. She's one of the top nurses in Japan for a reason!

Well, in my early years, I got injured severely because of a massive fight with someone. I won, but still. I was in vigilante hospital, and they weren't sure if I was going to make it. My squad learned about Chiyo, kidnapped her, and begged for her to heal me. Surprisingly, she didn't resist. In fact, she was happy to treat me. Apparently, she kind of supports me. She doesn't support the killing, but she does everything else just about.

From there, whenever we need Chiyo, she allows us to kidnap her, and she will heal us. Of course, I started feeling bad because we were kidnapping her only to heal us. That's when I captured her for Christmas. From there, we became a family!

Yes, she is in the Mafia

It doesn't mean we don't get beat up for it, though. She has a nasty swing.

With that explanation, let's continue.

"Of course, dear. It has been a while since you got hurt, let alone this badly. How are you feeling?" Chiyo asks as she checks over everything.

"Lots of pain. I can't tell you where. What's the damage?"

"I should have known that you require such a high dosage. Broken arm, a few broken ribs, a couple of cracked ribs, snapped spine that somehow didn't paralyze you, and a concussion. At least you are speaking fine." I watch her change the pain medication bag to something more substantial.

"My luck."

"You're lucky you need to be careful; otherwise, I would hit you. What were you thinking when you faced that thing?!"

"Distraction until my team arrives. I might have been experimenting a little bit. What happened anyway?"

"Mr. Compress put you in a marble, grabbed me, and took you home. As for your group, they ran because the heroes came. All Might took care of the Nomu, but the boy and the mist escaped after announcing that they are the 'League of Villains?'"

"Alright... Wait, how long am I expected to be in this position?"

"With your energy, a couple of days. Fully healed is a couple more days."

"Fricking fudge. How am I suppose to slip that past Aizawa?"

"Who at UA is in the Mafia?"

"It's only you and Present Mic. As for who knows, Nezu knows I am Virus, obviously." You'll meet Present Mic eventually.

"You should probably tell him, deary. He already knows it is you. You just need to confirm it."

"Then Aizawa has an excuse to arrest my as- behind."

"You know he doesn't arrest vigilantes, so why would he arrest you?" Chiyo should be a therapist.

"I think you forgot that I killed people."

"For how innocent you look, yes. However, heroes are allowed to go on gut institution. If Aizawa wanted to arrest you, he would have already. He's not trying for that. At the moment, you're making his life harder. The only reason he looks to try is because he's on the case."

"...and how was I suppose to know that?"

"Asking like a normal person goes a long way, demon heart."

"Was I suppose to ask you?" Chiyo nods, "Alright then, Grandma. Where is everybody?"

"It's two in the morning."

"That explains a whole lot. Since you seem so smart, how should I do this?" Chiyo flicks my nose, forcing me to glare at her.

"Don't be so arrogant, child! You just happen to have no social skills!"

"God had to take something away from me!"

"Oh, boy...Lord, give me strength." Chiyo throws an unsolved Rubix cube at me and leaves the room.

Absolutely boring because I solved it within a minute.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

"Izu, you have to talk to Ai-chan eventually," Mom says, who just came in. Currently, it's midday, and we are trying to come up with a game plan. Chiyo is now napping, so Mom is in charge of looking out for me. Everybody else is being illegal.

"I want to be moved home first before he sees me. I don't want to reveal the base."

"Your chances of that happening are very slim. I'm pretty sure he knows where the base is."

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"He followed me here."

"...fine." Mom leaves the room for only a moment, and comes back in with Eraser, "You seriously let him in? Where's Eri?"

Aizawa says, "She is being babysat by one of the other members of your 'Mafia.' Heck, kid, you look terrible." At least Eri doesn't have to see me like this.

"Damn, that's a thing to say to someone who just threw his life on the line for your class."

"Except you shouldn't be doing that. Any of this. Izuku, you're fifteen, yet you are the most wanted vigilante in Japan. You have killed. How can that not bother you?"

"Someone has to take it, Eraser."

"Aizawa. I won't call you Virus unless you are in costume. However, I will say this. Virus, thank you for putting your life on the line for my class." HOLY SHIT, HE IS BOWING!

"I'm just doing my job. Straighten up. Hate that." Aizawa sighs, shaking his head as he does that.

"I have to ask: where is Recovery Girl?"

Before I can respond, Chiyo enters with a smile, " Don't worry; I'm safe here, Aizawa-kun. I'm apart of this."

Aizawa looks between her and me, "Kid, how many people are in this?"

I chuckle, "A lot."

"Any of them threatened?"

"If they are previous villains, yes. Other than that, no. They came in on free-will." There is quiet until Aizawa breaks it.

"I want in. However, I have a condition for you." Hold up, really?

"Depends, what is it?"

"Get therapy." Oh boy.

"You promise not to spread this place around? Otherwise, **I will kill you.**" I watch Aizawa stiffen up before nodding, "Alright then! If you want someone to talk to about it, Recovery Girl and Present Mic are in the Mafia."

"...are you serious?"

"About?"

"Present Mic?"

"Your boyfriend? Of course! He's one of my most valuable members!" Aizawa sputters for a moment but recovers quickly.

"You know what? I see what you do in an investigation. I'm not even going to ask. What am I doing here?"

"Mostly information gathering. This is a rather impulsive decision for someone like you."

"Never had the chance to ask as you would be doing something." Wait a moment.

"This is for Eri, huh? She does know, by the way."

"Partially. It's still in an attempt to protect you while gaining information."

"Alright, then."

That conversation ends for a moment. With a sigh, Aizawa sits in the chair beside the bed.

"How long are you here for?" Aizawa asks as he leans back.

I sigh in sadness, "A couple of more days, why?" I won't survive, but still.

"I need you to fight my class." OH, THANK GOD I DIDN'T HAVE WATER IN MY MOUTH!

"What?! You want me to kill them?!"

"No. I want you to fight them as Izuku. Since you're a toned-down version of Virus and I know you can defeat them, I need you to show them that their quirk isn't everything. I don't think they understand fully. Maybe you can tell them about some of the cases you have covered as well. Bring them the reality of being a hero."

"When I am a detective?"

"One of the top detectives. I know you have seen and done sh-stuff, so you're the person to do it."

"It gives me an excuse to beat them up. Sure!"

Chiyo interrupts, "Without injuring them! I don't need more students in my office because of you! You better hold back, or you will be bald the next day!"

"Excuse me, but it's not my fault that I decide to say screw self-control."

Both Aizawa and Chiyo shake their heads.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Eri appears in my lap carefully. I look up to see Himiko and Dabi at the door.

"Sorry, but we couldn't stop her." Dabi groans.

I smile at Eri, "It's fine. I was trying to prevent you from seeing this, sweets."

I think I have been around Eri too long. Want to know why?

SHE PUNCHES ME IN THE FRICKING NOSE HARD!

"THAT'S FOR HIDING FROM ME!" Eri screams. Then, she flops on my lap. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close.

"Dang, Eri, I'm sorry!"

"It better not happen again!"

"Of course, it will! You can punch me every time I do it. Deal?"

"...okay!"

Damn, why can't I be this easy to satisfy?

From there, Aizawa has to head to work, and the Fuckers, Mom, Chiyo, Eri, and I all chill in this horrible room.

I mean, at least I have people to annoy for the time being.


	12. Chapter 12

Guess who is back in one piece? ME!

After my little show-down and murdering a couple of people here, the Mafia is a stable place once again! People have stopped ditching me because nobody really wants to die with their family.

I managed to cover my detective job with Aizawa now in the Mafia, so he can just walk on in and hand it over. I had an easy cover-up that I got sick because, whenever I get ill, I have to be knocked out until I wake up. Otherwise, it's just a line of panic attacks.

Himiko and Dabi returned Chiyo back without a problem.

Eri is still precious as always, and anyone who fucks with her will die.

With that little update out of the way, it's time to break some bones- I mean, politely beat the shit out of students to inform them that they won't always win.

. . .

What? Am I suppose to teach them something else?

* * *

Eri is with Mom because I need to go to UA with Aizawa as he needs to do something before I can fight.

Aizawa leads me to his office, where four braces are sitting on his desk.

I can't help myself, "Who you plan on tying down in here, you kinky slut?"

"Nobody, you brat. They are weighted bracelets, and I expect you to wear them, so the students have a chance. It might also help in hiding who you are if you're slower," Aizawa growls.

"Okay, fine!" I roll up my sleeves, bleach wipe the bitches somehow, and put them on, "Oh, fuck." I stand up, and oh boy, I'm quick to notice the weight.

"They start off on five pounds (2.3 kg) each but adapt, so you stay at a constant speed."

"Wait, so I could potentially go faster once I remove them?!" Why didn't I think of this idea?! I know it isn't Aizawa's intention, but still!

"That's not the goal of it, but yes. Now, I need you to stay in here out of trouble until I need you."

"Come on! You could at least leave me with one of the teachers!"

"No."

He doesn't even leave me with something to do when he walks out!

Okay then, you emo hobo. I'll find something to do myself.

* * *

When Aizawa enters his office again, it takes him a moment to recover because the word 'clean' is not in his dictionary.

"Are you serious, brat? It has only been ten minutes." Aizawa asks with a bored look on his face.

"I don't know what you expect. Also, your bracelets have already changed the weight from five to twenty pounds (9.1kg). Change it back."

"Jesus. I knew you were strong, but that's heavier than expected. Anyway, you should still be a little faster than me. Since you're so fast, I didn't need you to beat them within a minute. I need you to give them a challenge and still make them lose."

"Oof, alright then." Aizawa leads the way to the field where all the students are waiting. My glasses immediately start informing me of their quirks and all that jazz because I got a hold of that information earlier. Most of them immediately recognize me and wave. Being the polite boy I am, I wave back. Aizawa shakes his head as he starts his speech,

"Today, everyone will be facing Midoriya-"

"WHAT?! WHY?" Bakugo, your anger is showing.

"Unless you want to be expelled, I recommend you quiet down. As I was saying, everybody will be facing Midoriya at once. You don't know his quirk, but he knows yours presumably as, when you're a public hero, your quirk will be known. Midoriya is one of the top detectives in Japan, so don't be surprised if he knows your strengths and weaknesses. Bakugo, I know you probably know Midoriya's quirk, but don't spread it around for the sake of this exercise. Besides that, you may do whatever you want."

Then, Aizawa turns to face me, "Do not make me send them to Recovery Girl for anything severe, please."

I huff, "Bold of you to assume I would leave them alive!"

Aizawa flares up his useless Eraser quirk on me, "Don't."

"Alright, alright, " I face the students, "Go in whatever formation you want to face me. I'll give you a moment to consider." I put my hands in my pocket where my yo-yos are, pull my gloves on, and I stand there chilling.

Immediately, ruckus breaks out as the students discuss their position. I can see the disappointment in Aizawa's face already!

Now, if you want an instructive point of view, there are really only two ways of going about this; you can either face me in a line or surround me. These are the first two that come to mind. Still, there is also the possibility of spreading out in random positioning, which would have the least amount of advantages for me.

Let me explain.

If they line up, I can bounce off of them like a ping-pong ball. That's what I am used to, so this would be the most leisurely round if they chose that.

If they surround me, it's slightly better. However, they run the risk of accidentally using their quirks on each other.

Randomization is the best because it means I have to take time running between each of them, and the close-combatants can attempt to wear me out. Once they are out, use your long-range attackers.

Of course, there are other ways of going about it. However, they will lose anyway.

I sign to Aizawa, "Can I attack? I'm bored." When I receive the nod, I grin.

I zoom forward and tackle my most prominent threat to the ground: Iida Tenya. Meanwhile, I throw my right-hand yo-yo at this short dude with purple balls for hair, wrap him up, and throw him at this boy who dispenses tape from his elbows. I attempt to capture the tail karate boy at the same time, but he manages to dodge. Oof.

I bend down to the boy under me and knock him out before standing up and facing the scattered students with a smirk, "You took too long to decide. I was being nice there."

Aizawa has to ruin my fun, though, "Pull back more, Midoriya. That force injured both Mineta and Sero."

"I was!"

"Not enough. Do that again, and I will increase the weights."

"Fine!" I face the students,

" Iida Tenya - Quirk: Engine - Iida has engines on the back of his calves that allow him to speed up. Interesting enough, his engines are manual, so it takes time for him to go full speed. At least he is consistent. And people say they were going out!

Mineta Minoru - Quirk: Pop-off - His hair is replaced with purple balls that can stick wherever he likes except himself. However, he's SLOW AF.

Sero Hanta - Quirk: Tape - He's a tape-version of Spiderman.

To be honest, those are your big hitters for someone like me. If you remember, when I first came, I was fast. If you could have trapped me, easy win. Well, good luck." I am lying about the easy win. If I lose to high-schoolers, I will arrest myself.

I may be pushing my ego too much because I am much slower now, but oh well!

"GET OVER HERE, DEKU!" Bakugo yells from behind me as explosions go off. Crackling can be heard near my feet, causing me to hop up.

OH FUCK, I'M ON ICE! That's not a bad idea.

I spin around quickly just in time to grab Bakugo by his shirt and slam him into the ground hard enough to knock him out. I get on top and use him as a footstep to get off the ice. I jump off on him onto solid ground to barely avoid a tail and a pole. I wrap my yo-yo around the pole to pull from the grip as I counter a kick from tail a boy. I spin around to kick the girl in the chest.

"Bakugo Katsuki, explosion. Ojiro Mashirao, tail. Yaoyorozu Momo, creation." I mutter as I knock them out. These are all decent combatants. With a grin, I start spinning around with my yo-yos on the ground to kick up a dust cloud to cover up.

Then, I went ham on the students until they all went out except one as the dust goes away. The only one who almost got me was Todoroki with his ice, but I got out of that.

"Kirishima Ejiro - Quirk: Hardening. Honestly, you have my weakness. Hey, dear! Can I give him mercy?! I like him. He also was one of the few trying to settle everyone down."

Aizawa pinches his nose, "Whatever. As long as he learned his lesson."

Kirishima quickly nods, "Yes, sir!"

After that, we wait for the students to get up or be shipped to Recovery Girl.

To the remaining, I have to tell a speech, "So I heard some theories being tossed about my quirk; mainly, my quirk is either intelligence or speed. Either way, you're fucking wrong because I'm quirkless. I'm just here to show that quirks aren't everything. Can I leave now? I have shit to do."

"Without cursing, yes," Aizawa mutters.

"I wish ya'll luck! I don't know when to see you all again, but I wish you luck at the Sports Festival and all that jazz!" With that, I walk off because I have shit to do as a detective and as Virus.

* * *

You know, I love people who cause trouble with a reason.

Especially if that reason is to fight for consumers BECAUSE FUCK BIG COMPANIES!

Except for Walmart. I love you, babe.

After a little bit of research, I appear in front of a specific door and knock as Virus.

The door opens to reveal a grey-haired young man (I feel I must address this) in fancy clothing.

Say hello to Gentle Criminal, everyone! Someone I hope to recruit in the Mafia. Gentle is a compelling case as he is similar to me with dramatics. Shit, he has his own Youtube channel for fuck sakes! It just has mostly dislikes somehow, but I digress. I like him!

The moment he sees me, he starts freaking out, "I promise I did nothing wrong, please spare-"

I laugh, interrupting him, "No, you're fine. Actually, you caught my eye."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. The only real problem I see is that you don't think shit through. I would love to have you on the Mafia. Bitch, someone who attacks a store over food is me. You can continue that as long as I can train you, so you don't accidentally hurt someone again." Woo, that makes him pale! He actually was aiming to be a hero, but he kept failing the test. He just didn't have the mindset.

"On one condition."

"Depends, what?"

"If my partner La Brava may join as well." La Brava is the one who records his robberies. She also is a good hacker, apparently, so I don't mind at all.

"Of course! We have a deal?" I offer my claw with the electronics off. He offers it.

"You have a deal, Virus!"

Bless, I did something useful with my life today!

Welp, that's all I got for now. Life is slow. Later!


	13. Chapter 13

Yeah, it's been a while, huh? Here's the down-low.

I have been busy as a detective on the new League of Villains case with everything going on. I have had to use all my connections as Virus to figure that shit out because it's covered! I mean, I figured a lot out, but not as much as I would like.

As Virus, I have been doing the usual killing. I feel like you wouldn't want to watch them as they are boring AF. Like, the fights suck.

After my proof of power, I became Aizawa's partner for class 1-A to teach them how to fight by constantly beating their asses, but hey, they are getting better! I still want to murder the man, though. We get along for work. Otherwise, we are fighting. Oh, and he has a new student he is training.

Eri is still a sweetheart.

Aizawa is 'having fun' in the Mafia, though he disapproves of fucking everything. Though, him questioning Present Mic about his involvement in the group was hilarious. I have no idea how they are not together yet for how much Aizawa was worrying about it, but oh well. Their problem, not mine!

The Mafia is back in power again...anything else?

Oh yeah, the Sports Festival! Now that's where the real shit is!

For those unaware, UA holds a Sports Festival so that heroes can check out the hero course (UA students, but let's be honest here: it's really only for the hero students.) to figure out who they want in their agency. I can even go as far as to say that it replaces the Olympics. People from all over the place come to watch kids beat each other up like it's a WWE fight!

Overall, class 1-A kicked ass because yours truly taught them.

Bakugo got first place (sadly for someone like me), Todoroki, that ice-hot boy, got second, and Tokoyami got third. Of course, there was supposed to be another fight for third place. However, Iida left due to a family situation.

That family situation is what leads me here in Hosu.

As it turns out, Iida's brother Ingenium was injured and left paralyzed by the Hero Killer: Stain for some reason. I say for some reason because I have no idea why Stain would go after him of all people.

I should probably explain Stain, huh? Alright.

Stain was initially a vigilante call Stendal, but he decided that heroes suck, so now he goes around murdering and paralyzing heroes. Wait, that's a shitty explanation. Rephrase, Stain believes that most of the heroes we have are not 'true heroes' because they work for fame and money. The only person qualifying as a true hero is All Might because he is self-sacrificing and expects nothing in return.

Personally, I am against this whole ideal because that means you should be doing something for no reward, and that's ridiculous to expect. Humans need awards to continue. Otherwise, we just give up.

If you haven't figured it out already, I am after Stain...kind of.

I ain't going to look for Stain's ass specifically, but if I find him, I have to deal with him then. That fight would be dangerous as hell to get into because he is strong. I know strength when I see it, and he has it. It doesn't help that he has the speed to back him up, though not as fast as me, especially since Aizawa forced those weights on me. Agility would be my main game there.

I am in Hosu because of Iida. Aizawa requested that I look after the idiot as he is afraid that Iida will try to go after Stain for vengeance. After watching him for a little bit, I see where Aizawa got that idea from. He's pretty much going to get himself killed if I don't follow, so that's my job.

That doesn't make me any less salty because I could be spending time with Eri BUT NO! THIS ROBOTIC IDIOTIC IS GOING TO FIGHT, AND HE THINKS HE'S GOING TO WIN AGAINST AN OPPONENT I AM WARY OF! BULL FUCKING SHIT OF THE CENTURY! NOW I OWE ERI A BUNCH OF SHIT BECAUSE OF YOU, IIDA!

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I am not saying it's a guaranteed chance that he will get into the fight, but that doesn't make me any calmer as I always have to watch him. AKA, a lot of time away from Eri.

With that explanation out of the way, let's catch up to where we are now.

* * *

"WHAT IN THE TOASTER STROODLE DO YOU MEAN THERE IS A FUCKING ATTACK TONIGHT?!" I scream at the top of my lungs while I chill on a roof. Currently, I am in Hosu stalking robot student to make sure he doesn't get killed. While I was doing my thing, I got a call from Dabi, and here we are!

_"You heard me the first time. One of the connections said that the League of Villains is attacking Hosu tonight. However, there is a lack of information on what is specifically happening," _Dabi grumbles through the phone, probably pissed off because I yelled in his ear. I mean, what kind of reaction do you expect from me?

"Any ideas why?"

_"Compress said that it is probably for attention, but it could be linked up to a Stain attack as well."_

"He thinks those two are working together?"

_"Anything is possible, dumbass. You should know this better than anyone."_

"True. Damn it. After last time, I want you and Compress here, Dabi. If they created another disgusting cookie monster, you two could deal with them the best. Since it can be linked up to a Stain attack, I have to keep a close eye on the Sonic kid I told you about."

_"I would let him get beat up."_

"Me too! However, Aizawa says otherwise! You two able to join me tonight?"

_"Let me check...yeah. We meeting up, or you want us to do whatever until trouble strikes?"_

"Wait for Team Rocket to come out, and then blast them off to the point they die!"

_"...I am taking away your pokemon games when you get home."_

"PLEASE NO! I LOVE THEM! I NEED TO KEEP MY TOP RANK UP!"

The asshole doesn't give me a chance to defend myself because he hangs up! Dabi is lucky that I am polite! Otherwise, I would YEET his ass on the street to suffer! YOU DON'T DISS POKEMON! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT POKEMON IS INGRAINED INTO MY SOUL!

Rude ass prune.

. . .

Oh wait, I should be worried about the attack tonight, huh?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

* * *

**_Tonight_**

**BOOM!**

Welp, good to know that my sources were not lying to me. Unfornutally, I can't join the fight because I have to babysit.

Now I know how the side characters feel.

As it turns out, I was right on my prediction with the Nomu except they become a little army, so fucking great! I don't see the leaders, so I guess the Nomus are just here for the heck of it. I watch Dabi and Compress come out to deal with them because the heroes down there don't have the means of doing it apparently.

Or they are just that dumb. I have no idea, and I rather not know the answer to that.

Meanwhile, I stalk Iida, and I see him go into a goddamn alleyway. I swear on the Bee movie itself that if he just found the Hero Killer, Aizawa legit has the unluckiest class out there, and I am dropping my job there. I hop down from the roof, sneak past the chaos, and follow Iida into the disgusting alleyway.

Sorry Bee movie, but you're fucked. Why? Iida did find Stain.

God fucking damn it all on a mozzarella stick.

When I arrive at the scene, I see Iida rush at Stain, but Stain somehow manages to kick his armor. Let's see, we are in an alleyway that's far from the scenes. I see pro hero Native slumped against the wall, so I assume he got his ass beat by Stain. Stain looks uninjured, so this is going to be one heck of a fight for me.

I mean, at least I am finally getting a challenge. Iida, on the other hand, needs to get a good old spanking BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK THIS SHIT THROUGH!

Whatever. Time to start shit, I guess.

Before Stain has a chance to fight back, I zoom from the corner past Iida and slice through his chest. Unfortunately, I get mere cat scratches as he jumps back and swings his katana at me. I grab his sword with my right hand(see? metal claws have a use!), trembling from the strength coming from him. I have to let go, duck, and roll to the side when he tries to take the chance to throw a fucking knife at me with his free hand. I shoot my claws from my left hand to create distance between Stain and me. He hops back, but he straightens up slightly when he realizes who it is.

"Virus, long time no see! You really have gotten better, huh, kid? However, you're in my way," Stain explains as he readjusts the grip on his sword. I stand up and walk in front of Iida.

I huff, "You should know my reputation, you mess."

"At least your personality is there after the past couple of years. I thought you would change after seeing the shit on the street." I chuckle. I'll explain the story later.

"Trust me, I have. I've just gotten more badass and OP! Iida, during this time, you're supposed to be high-tailing it with Native. Why are you fucking with the story?" Yes, I'm calling Iida out. I deserve the right to do so!

Iida speaks up from behind me, "This is my fight! Not yours, Virus!" Oh boy. Welp, plan B.

**"Says who? I recommend you get out before I slice you up myself."**

"But my-"

**"You're brother got paralyzed recently, right? If he couldn't defeat him, why should you?! It's illogical! Vengence is going to do nothing good for you! Ingenium would be disappointed. NOW GET OUT!"**

Thankfully, that gets him moving. I hear Iida grab what I presume to be Native's body and run.

Stain takes the chance to attack Iida, but I turn my shocks on and shoot the claws to attach on his back. I rush forward to kick him down; however, I have to rip the nails from his skin and get out of the way to avoid getting impaled by a spikey boot.

These gloves are going to be a bitch to clean up later.

Oh, and dealing with Stain in general. He has to have a high pain tolerance to knock out from a shock like that!

Stain growls, "You're going to stop me, aren't you?"

"No. I'm going to leave and go to KFC. YES, I AM GOING TO FUCKING STOP YOU! WHAT IN TARNATION DO YOU EXPECT?!"

"You knew about the attack, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but why the fuck are you working with the League of Villains? For fuck sakes, their goal is to kill All Might! This seems contradicting here!" The whole time, I watch Stain's movement to make sure he won't get out of my grasp.

Stain scoffs, "They are merely following me. Enough talking, Izuku, " He bursts forward, and a loud clang along with a spark echoes in the alleyway as I grab his katana with both hands this time, **"Show me how much you've grown, Izuku!"**

If we are going to compare strength, I am merely a worm compared to Stain. He easily overpowers me with one arm, so I have to be careful here. I can hear him grabbing for his knife. I kick him in the stomach and let go of the sword to make him lose his balance. Then, I tackle him to the ground and attempt to pin him. Due to my small size, he curls his legs inwards, kicks me off, and takes the chance to stab one of the spikes in my right shoulder when I land on the ground. I shoot my claws to his chest to electrocute him, but he uses the katana to slice the wires off easily.

Fuck, that bitch is sharp. The wires are not supposed to be cut like that and have resisted in the past. Fuckity.

I need to move now.

I roll back and stand up, barely avoiding a knife to the head (not that it would do much with a mask, but I digress.). This is actually dangerous now because I need to switch to my katanas, but Stain is the one who trained me, so he knows my style. His quirk doesn't help because if he ingests my blood, I get paralyzed. It's game over for me. That's why agility is so important now; I can not give him a chance to lick my blood.

And before you say 'Izuku, just say you have HIV!', his quirk makes it, so he is resistant to that shit, but nice try!

Reluctantly, I pull at the dual katanas, and they spark up due to me making sure they are conductible. My best strategy is to keep at Stain with speed and not get into a confrontation like the last two times. That's what would fuck me over. I need to block, wear him down, and wait for the perfect moment to strike. I run in to make sure he doesn't have a chance to recover.

**CLINK CLANG!**

Shit! Less thinking, more making sure I don't die!

I start weaving in and out of Stain's range as fast as I can. I block his katana, dodge the stupid knife, and miss my chance to land a hit half the time. Meanwhile, he makes sure he doesn't get hit again. I already injured him a little bit, so that's something. However, I do have a small stab wound in my right shoulder, so I am not in the best position either.

It's that stupid pattern over and over just at different angles. Sometimes I hit, and I mean that in a very lenient way because it would cuts that a piece of paper can give you.

Obviously, that gets boring quickly, so I might as well gather information, "What do you plan on doing once you win this?!" I might as well attempt to brush his ego. I know he won't get cocky like most other people, but I can try.

Stain blocks my katana, trying to stab me with his boot again, but I am too quick, "You should know, Izuku!"

"Yeah yeah, but how about a deal?! If I win this, you have to come back to the Mafia! If I lose, I'll never mess with you again!" I can recruit anytime and anywhere, even if I am about to die!

"Like I am going to let you!"

"I'll take it as a deal!"

It's about ten minutes of this bullshit until we hear loud footsteps from the end of the alleyway. I'm pretty sure that's the heroes. I mean, it would be idiotic for Iida not to get a hero with the Hero Killer: Stain and the top vigilante Virus are in the same place fighting.

"To the roofs? We don't need heroes intervening with this shit." I ask as Stain and I separate.

**"ENDEAVOR! THE FAKEST OF THEM ALL!" **That works too, I guess. While Stain is distracted and preparing to approach, I take the chance to run in and kick him in the head to knock him out.

See? This is what speed does for you. Sonic can beat Mario when he isn't doing them mushrooms.

Though, I am willing to admit that it was anti-climatic as heck.

I turn to see multiple heroes being lead by Endeavor, "Hey, buddy old pal! I would love to chat with the scenery, but I don't want to look like a psycho talking to the garbage! See ya!"

I throw Stain over my shoulder and zoomy out of the alleyway, barely avoiding the fire trying to get this splendid-looking bottom!

If you know what I am referencing...I am sorry.

* * *

"You should have let Stain beat up Iida a little, Aizawa. He probably learned nothing from this lesson! Take away his rights while yer at it!"

"A little in your vocabulary is leaving someone with a missing arm."

"But they stay out of trouble, don't they?"

"Those people are in prison, Izuku."

"See? They are staying out of trouble! But I am saying you should let me rough Iida up as myself."

Aizawa sighs. He just doesn't understand.

Currently, we are back at the Mafia base with Stain chilling on the couch because we are going to recruit him in the Mafia. Again.

I should explain that story, huh?

Stain and I first met when he was Stendal. He saved me one day, and I noticed how skilled he was, so I asked him to train me. He first said no, but after stalking him for a bit, he reluctantly agreed. From there, we became close as kind of a father/son duo oddly enough. He disagreed with pretty much everything I did, but he had no choice, so the best thing he could do is go with me. It worked out until we had our disagreement about heroes. Then he kind of just upped and left.

Dramatic, I know, but that's how we roll here!

When I hear a groan, I turn to see Stain waking up.

I don't need him starting shit, so I decide to announce, "Hey, Dad!" Of course, this causes Aizawa to double-take, but it's so worth it! I should have had someone record it!

The first thing Stain does is sigh, "Dang it, Izuku. You're really going for it, aren't you?"

"Look, I ain't taking much off the table. You can still kill assholes and specific heroes. You just can't kill every hero."

"...glad you stuck to your roots, kid. I am still keeping my opinion, but fine."

"I wouldn't expect you to change it. I only want you to do things my way is all."

"Fine..."

"If it makes you feel any better, we are still under the Walmart!"

Stain just ignores me and knocks out again because I gave him a concussion. Meanwhile, Aizawa is watching the scene with so much confusion. Everyone else is used to this shit.

So worth it to have him watch that.

Time to get to see my girl Eri!


	14. Chapter 14

If you have been to school at one point or another in your life, you know that the worst time to be in school is during exam time. You have to study. You have to suffer. You have to basically throw your life away for a diploma or degree that could be so much better if the education system wasn't shit.

Not talking about you, UA. You have your own problems to deal with like, I don't know, making sure your sporting events don't have the students killing each other!

Or the villain attacks. That's another issue.

Either way, everyone has problems.

Wait, I'm supposed to be talking about the exams.

Thankfully, because I said 'F U' to the school long ago, I don't take exams anymore! However, everybody else in UA must except for the teachers.

This leads to a rather quiet building, giving me the perfect chance to bully someone. This is especially true because they have robots watch the students diligently instead of the teachers who just want to give up on life.

AKA Aizawa.

"Present Mic!" I announce as I burst into the teacher's lounge.

"Shut up, Izuku, " Aizawa growls from his little corner, but we shall ignore him.

"What's up, little listener?" Present Mic asks as I approach his desk.

"I haven't had the chance to have a proper conversation with you. How are you doing, mate?" I am especially salty because he can at least call me to keep me up on the drama! I've known him for a couple of years now due to the Mafia, so he should that. But nope!

"I'm bored! I know I'm going to be overwhelmed once I get the work to grade, but that doesn't cure me now!" I can flipping agree with that, you piece of shit.

"Then amuse me."

"How?" I check on Aizawa to see him knocked out. Yeah, his sleep schedule is trash.

"Why the fuck haven't you asked Aizawa out yet?" Present Mic's eyes bulge.

"How did you figure that out?!"

"I have my connections."

"None of your connections would be able to cover that!"

"I mean, I can look at the cameras where you and he are together, and I can clearly see you watching him like the disaster gay you are."

"Disaster bi, thank you very much!"

"I can find the pictures of you staring at his ass if you want to start an attitude with me." How do I get away with saying this shit? All the other teachers are just chilling. They look at me strangely, but that's it!

Present Mic blushes darkly, "You are as bad as Midnight- she's the one to tell you, isn't she?!" I'm impressed that he figured that out. Though, I'm not one to underestimate his intelligence. He's in the Mafia for a reason.

Present Mic is the one that brings me the juicy hero information like if a hero is a hoe or shit like that. Basically, it gives me drama to use against a hero if I ever need it. In exchange, he's protected by me.

Actually, he's one of the few that asked to join. Present Mic wanted to help, so he joined.

AND YOU GUYS THINK HAWKS IS SUSPICIOUS AF! THIS IS THE MAN YOU NEED TO GO AFTER!

I smirk, "I'll let you believe that." He should know how I work by now. To make things even juicier, Midnight just came in!

GIVE ME THE TEA, SIS!

Present Mic instantly looks at her with fury, "Nemuri! Why are you giving out my secrets?!"

Midnight purrs, "I don't know what you are talking about, dear."

"You know EXACTLY what I am talking about! That's just mean!"

"I don't, sweetie."

"Are we really about to fight about this?!"

"If you tell me, we don't have too."

"NEMURI!"

Present Mic starts chasing Midnight, and I follow with the camera out recording.

DRAMA TIME!

However, I am slightly concerned about the fact that Aizawa didn't wake up during that entire time.

...

That's his problem, not mine.

* * *

"Mic, you could have won."

"Seriously, Izuku?"

"YOU JUST HAD TO HOLD YOUR BREATHE FOR TWO MORE SECONDS, AND YOU WOULD HAVE WON!"

"You're just starting shit, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, because me. But still! Why am I the victim?!"

"Because you haven't texted or called me in a while."

"...understandable, have a nice day."

"You're lucky I brought you to the couch. I could have left your leathery ass in the dirt."

"I know." I check the time and OH SHIT! I NEED TO PICK ERI UP!

I zoom out while yelling at Present Mic, "TELL AIZAWA I'M PICKING ERI UP!"

"Gotcha!"

* * *

When I arrive at the daycare, Eri approaches me with an elderly man teacher behind her.

Oh shit, what happened?

I bend down to Eri, "Hey girl, how are you?"

Eri doesn't react as she wraps her little arms around me.

RED ALERT! I REPEAT, RED ALERT!

I stand up, bringing Eri with me and setting her on my hip.

I turn my attention to the teacher, "May I help you?"

The teacher says with a blunt tone, "Eri was caught fighting another student."

Hold my tea, what?

Yes, we taught Eri to fight, and she can kick ass. However, we (Aizawa and Mom) made sure that she would not attack innocents. I'm saying that someone fucked up, and they are blaming my girl.

"Do you know what happened before the incident?" I ask the teacher, rocking Eri gently. If I may be honest, Aizawa should be the one dealing with this. I'll get in trouble for this later, but that hasn't stopped me before!

"I came outside to check the kids when I saw her in the corner beating a boy up."

"At least she won. Did you get the story of what actually happened before you came out? Also, why weren't you out there with them? A teacher should always be outside watching the kids." Of course, I'm worried if she won! My baby girl better kick ass with the training she has! I guess I should be more concerned about the fact that my kid wasn't being watched over, huh?

"W-well Midoriya-"

"You know what? Don't expect me back here. I'm not going to leave Eri with someone so irresponsible. Oh, and be expecting a report. Let's leave this ass, Eri."

Okay, I did my job.

Jackass. Maybe I did assume a bit, but now I get to spend more time with Eri.

When we are a distance away, I ask, "You okay, sweets?" Eri reluctantly nods, "If it makes you feel any better, you don't have to go there anymore! They can suck my dick about it."

"Yay! But won't Sho be upset?" Sho is Aizawa for anyone wondering.

"He's always upset."

"Because you bully him!" I gasp dramatically. She did not just go there!

"I do not! I lightly tease him!"

"You called him a bottom, though!" Shit, she doesn't know what that means, does she?

"Sweetheart, what's a bottom?"

"...I don't know!" Bless!

"Well, a bottom is a supportive character that receives no credit." I mean, close enough to Aizawa, right?

"Oh...okay!" Oh, Eri is so innocent! Well, in my book, anyway.

* * *

I was teaching Eri how to Renegade for Tik Tok when Aizawa calls us down to get on the bus.

With the standard school exams done, it's time to do the actual UA exams: the practical exams.

Yes, I just called regular exams irrelevant. Deal with it.

So class 1-A, Eri, and I head to the field because the practicals involve fighting teachers. That's all I know, surprisingly enough. For some reason, they kept a tight lip on it.

...

I'm suspicious now.

We get to the location to reveal all the teachers, which the students didn't know about, and Aizawa explains they're pairings and who they are going to fight. The teacher they are fighting is based on their weakness.

For example, since acid girl and Pikachu are not the sharpest in the class, they got paired with Nezu, one of the smartest animals in the world.

Before you ask, yes, they are screwed. They should accept their lost now, but I have to attempt to be encouraging.

Aizawa goes through everybody, leaving one last person: fucking Bakugo.

"Bakugo and Izuku, you will be fighting-" Aizaw starts to explain when somebody suddenly crashes in front of us.

"I AM HERE!"

...it's All Might...

WAIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE?!

I step out with Eri beside me, "HOLD MY CROISSANT, WHAT?! WHY AM I PARTICIPATING?! I AM A TEACHER, NOT A STUDENT!"

Aizawa sighs, and I don't feel sorry one bit, " Izuku, Bakugo needed a partner, and, due to your pasts, you two are a fit."

"And what's stopping me from walking out right now?"

"Eri, come here, " Hold up, what? Eri walks over to Aizawa, and he lifts her on his hip, "If you lose, you don't get to see Eri for a week." WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?! YOU CAN'T TAKE ERI FROM ME!

"That's bull shit!" I believe Bakugo wholeheartedly agrees with me based on the expression on his face.

"You won't follow through for any other reason, so this is what happens."

"Seriously, Aizawa? I can just steal her back, no problem."

"That's why she will go to Nezu."

"You wouldn't dare!" NOBODY SHOULD BE SENT TO NEZU! NOT EVEN MY WORST ENEMY!

Then, Nezu puts the cherry on top with a grin, "I don't see the problem, Izuku. I'm more than capable of taking care of Eri."

"By boring her to death! Fine, I'll do it!"

Eri smiles, "You can do it, Izu!"

I return the favor, but I add nothing to it.

I have no idea how I'm going to face the number one hero with my number one enemy without killing one of them. Bakugo will probably try to fight him himself, and I'll let him. Better than arguing with the idiot. However, that leaves me with All Might. I'm not physically compared to the dude. I can match him in speed for .5 seconds, but that's it. After that, I'm out.

I have to figure this shit out for Eri.

* * *

"Alright, Bakugo, so here's the motherfucking tea: we lose, and you have to help me get Eri back. Basically, you're dealing with me until I get Eri back."

"Hah, like I'm going to lose to All Might!"

"I'll let you win it for the both of us then!"

"You might as well!"

"I will."

Bakugo isn't going to last, but I could care what happens to him. I just need to make sure I win.

The good news is that All Might does have some restraints to slow him down. The bad news is that All Might is still going to be fucking OP. The only advantage I have is that my field is a cityscape. That's my natural habitat

Though, because All Might is a villain, I will be surprised if he doesn't mow the whole place over. Oh, and I get lost easily...

Why is my life like this? All I have are my yo-yos, and that won't do shit against All Might! The best way to do this is to run to the gate.

Don't even get me started on how I am going to outspeed All Might. I'm hoping the author gives me a quirk that makes me better than All Might.

...not going to happen? Fuck. Fine, alright.

You know, I should really shut up and actually move because we are already on the field. Oh, and the match is about to start in less than a minute. Bakugo is going to attempt to fight him, but my confidence in him is lower than my self-esteem at the moment.

AKA, it's trash.

_"Round: Start!" _The robot exclaims, and Bakugo and I immediately separate. Bakugo goes down the street of the dead while I go into an alleyway to run. Maybe I can work with him for once by having him distract All Might with his anger issues.

Every second counts, mate and I am going to take that for Eri.

**"WHERE ARE YOU, HERO?!" **All Might yells after I hear mass destruction and bombs nearby. How pleasant! And this is what your kid is learning in school, parents! Did Bakugo get out already? If so, fuck.

I'm pretty close-

**"THERE YOU ARE! ABANDONING YOUR PARTNER IS NOT VERY WISE, YOUNG MIDORIYA!"**

Suddenly, a WAY too powerful punch for a training session lands on my chest, causing me to fly back through A FUCKING CEMENT WALL! DOES THIS MAN HAVE NO SELF-RESTRAINT?!

DOES ALL MIGHT EVEN STILL HAVE HIS DICK IF THIS IS HIS STRENGTH?! HE HAS TO HAVE RIPPED IT OFF BY NOW!

I'm sorry. Curiosity got the best of me. I would say I will shut up, but then you won't be getting to read my beautiful words, so I shall continue to entertain you.

Off-topic. GET BACK ON, IZUKU!

FUCK ME, THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH! This should be fucking illegal. Thankfully, I don't think anything is broken. Yet

I get that I stab and electrocute people to death while torturing them, but they deserve it! I don't.

Remember those bracelets Aizawa has me wear while on UA campus? Welp, they're off now. At most, it will even my speed with him for five seconds.

I'LL TAKE IT!

**"Midoriya, are you already down?!" **All Might yells, annoying me.

"Bitch, I can hear you without you yelling!" Taking my chance, I take the nearest exit and run out to an alleyway.

I pull out my yo-yos, use the scaffold, balconies, and whatever the fuck I can use to swing myself around. If there's a corner, I'm taking it. Because of All Might's speed, he has problems turning. It will slow him down while I can keep a constant pace.

Two problems.

One: I have no idea where the fuck I am going.

Two: The last part is a straight-line, meaning All Might should have no problem getting to me.

My new plan is to throw myself high enough that I can see where the exit is. This is going to hurt.

**"TEXAS SMASH!"**

Wait, Texas smash? That is a punch used to send an air-blast at an opponent so why-?

OH! OH SHIT! If All Might uses enough force, he can make me let go of my yo-yos, so I can't travel that style anymore. I can work with that.

I wind the yo-yo's back to me while flying up. When the smash creates the blast, I get sent over the top of the buildings. That's one way of completing my goal.

THERE'S THE EXIT! I'M SO CLOSE!

But first, how am I going to land? Because I have no idea if my shoes can absorb the shock from this fall.

I mean, maybe? That doesn't stop my ever-rising anxiety, though!

When I hear a swish, I realize that All Might is right fucking behind me. On instinct, I use the mirror on the side of the yo-yo to blind him. Taking that chance, I swing the other at his head. It lands a solid hit! Yes!

I need to move.

I change my falling style to a dive, so I approach the ground much faster. As I approach the floor, I upright my position and land on my feet.

That ripped a few tendons, but I need to move! The exit is so close!

Closer!

CLOSER!

**"GOOD RUN, YOUG MIDORIYA!"**

A punch lands on my back, causing me to slam into the wall next to the exit. I crash on the ground, growling. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

FUCK ME BACK! I NEED ERI!

Wait, the glasses are still on! I have an idea! The lenses work similar to my mask, so I can hack through them. At least they should collect information for me.

"Glass, they recording sound?" The programming comes up in the lens, going through shit before it responds.

_"No." _Is the answer

Good. Something is working with me!

"Pushing the limits, eh, Yagi?" That's All Might's real name for anyone curious!

That stops him.

All Might watches me warily, "How do you know that name, Midoriya?"

I stand up despite my spine wanting a divorce from my body, "Connections." Great job, Izuku! Make yourself suspicious!

"I need to know."

"Uh, RED ROBIN!" I zoom off through the gate, catching him off guard.

**"Hero team has won! Congratulations!"**

HOLD UP, THAT SHIT WORKED?! Well, I have higher priorities.

I turn to All Might, "YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO SAY YUM! ALSO, ASK NEZU!"

With that, I head to Aizawa with a goal so strong that no pain will stop me.

I find him with the students and Eri. Without hesitation, I grab Eri and stomp off.

NOBODY TAKES ERI AWAY FROM ME!

You want to know the best part about the whole exchange?

When Eri and I were walking off, she turned around and flipped Aizawa off!

She's growing up!

I'M SO PROUD!

I'M SO EMOTIONAL!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

Author's Note

Just a warning: I'm losing inspiration for this story, so it might be shitty.

But I'm trying!


	15. Chapter 15

"Take me with you!"

"We can't, Eri. You need to stay here with Mom."

"No!" Jesus Christ, why is it so hard to say no to her? You'd think after a year that I would build up some resistance. Nope!

For once, Aizawa helps me, "Eri, you are staying with Midoriya-san, and that is final. "

"But, I want to be with Izu!"

"I am saving you by keeping you here. Izuku will play with you all you want when he returns." He threw me under the bus, the dumb fuck!

"...okay...Izu, you better return!"

I huff, " I wouldn't dream of it! Now stay out of trouble and don't talk to people offering you candy!"

"Got it!"

* * *

So you may be wondering what that whole conversation was about. Well, Aizawa and I have to go to a camp so that our students will work on their quirks. This entire time, they have only been working on their minds. Their quirks may have improved a little but not a whole lot.

They need a whole lot as a hero, so here we fucking are!

So why is the dumb fuck named Izuku going on a trip where he will undoubtedly annoy his below-mates? I'm glad you asked!

There's going to be a villain attack, and I have to take care of it! How pleasant!

Just don't ask me why, though, because I have no idea. For all I know, they want the shit camp food the kids will create. I will figure it out eventually. For now, we have to get these kids in tip-top shape!

Oh, and did I mention we are leaving for the camp right now? We are.

I bend to Eri and give her a hug, "Have fun, Eri."

Eri hugs back tightly, "Will do, Izu!"

With that, Mom takes her away, and we are on the bus to hell- I mean training!

...

Let's be honest: nobody is separating Aizawa and me for a week, so it really is going to be hell.

Hopefully, God will knock me out on the bus ride somehow, so I don't have to deal with his hobo ass!

* * *

So my previous dream didn't happen because God hates me, so here I am at a cliffside with two girls cosplaying as cats who are heroes.

Side Note: I am pretty sure that if these heroes weren't cats, we wouldn't be here. Why?

The tea is that Aizawa likes cats. The only reason I know this is because of the fact that I have seen him feeding the local homeless cats. And everyone wonders why we have a cat overpopulation. It's because of people like Aizawa: They sympathize with the cats and feed them. More cats are created, and hell is created because cats are disgusting.

Anyway, let's go back to Aizawa's addiction. Let me tell you the extent.

If he was given a choice between a cat and me, he would choose the cat without a problem-!

Wait, that's a terrible comparison. Aizawa would probably sacrifice me for a rat for fuck sakes.

Better compared: If he was given a choice between a cat and Yamada, he would choose the cat. If, by some far off chance, he does choose Yamada over the cat...well...let's just say I don't want to know what goes on in the bedroom.

Actually, Aizawa wouldn't be doing that shit anyway because he is in the same house as me, and he knows I would blab that shit to Kayama.

We share the gossip!

Oh, and Eri, I guess.

We are so far off-topic, I should be in Antarctica at this point!

The cat heroes set up a fighting simulator in the forest where class 1-A has to release their pent-up frustration with the world on earth golems in contribution from one of the cat's quirks.

Meanwhile, class 1-B is a group of pansies and are being dropped off there.

We may or may not have thrown 1-A over the cliffside for the exercise. They will probably not be at the camp until the end of the day because of the distance they have to travel, and earth golems are a bitch. Unless you are someone like me, then you can run past them. However, as the group has to stay together, they will be slower than Patrick's pet rock.

While they deal with that, Aizawa and I arrive at camp, and it's my job to upgrade the security in case we get attacked. Rephrase, when we get attacked because I probably just jinxed us. With our run-in with villains, it wouldn't surprise me. It's just going to be a mild inconvenience because I can't just straight-up kill them or electrocute them unless I want suspicions on me. I have to swing the yo-yo and hope it knocks them out because choking is a bad thing, apparently.

Except in bed. Go right on ahead there.

By the time I was done with that, I had taken the time to cook for 1-B with the cats. Somehow, my bootilicious ass didn't eat the raw ingredients.

After that, class 1-A still wasn't there, and I had nothing to do. That's the bad news. The good news is that Aizawa has nothing to do either!

* * *

"Aizawa-!"

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, to whatever you are going to ask."

"And you seriously think you're going to get away with that?" Aizawa doesn't even answer the question! He just tries to get up and leave! Lucky for him, my legs work! "Hey, get back here! I need information!"

"No, you don't. Just hack the government like you always do when you want something."

"Unless you're married and you haven't told me, the government isn't going to give me the information I want."

"What could you possibly be after?"

"When in the flippity flop are you going to ask Yamada out?"

"I'm not." I start laughing out loud, getting a strange look from life.

"That's the funniest thing I heard since Trump started wearing a mask! There is no reason for you to be stubborn about being gay! You don't have to worry about if Yamada is gay or not because he is a literally gay disaster! You just have to ask him out in your usual boring way. He likes you. Just make the fucking move."

"You just want trouble."

"If I wanted trouble, I would have already caught the building on fire."

"You're stuck by my side now after saying that."

"Oof. But seriously, I'm trying to give you life advice, and you're ignoring it!"

"I have seen the advice you have given Eri. I'm not following anything you unless it's for what you were hired."

"ERI IS FUCKING WONDERFUL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AS FOR THE SECOND PART, OFFENDED!"

"Why don't you go check on the class without getting caught or interfering? That's an order."

"Fuck you, you ugly slug that can't evolve."

* * *

I decided to watch the students because man is it fucking boring at the house. They have nothing for me to destroy, and they kicked me out anyway because I annoyed everyone that much. Even a little boy was done with my shit.

Though, he looked done with life in general even though he is six.

RELATABLE!

Now, I could tell you everything that is going on, but at this point, it's just students training their quirk.

Let me summarize:

When class 1-A finally arrived at the camp at sundown, they ate and slept because they were done with life.

I woke them up the next morning with a giant gong loaned to me by Aizawa.

Then, I explained to them what they were doing with their quirk. I do need to explain this part to you. You see, in the hero course, the students were working on mostly growing mentally. This means things like developing strategies, analysis, and stuff like that. However, despite quirks being a massive part of being a hero, they haven't worked explicitly on their quirk. Let's take Bakugo, for example. We redid the quirk test on him, where he has to throw a ball using his quirk. He has only improved that by two meters the whole time he has been at UA. Petty, huh?

With the camp, 1-A (and 1-B if they stop being pansies) will work on increasing their quirk's power and how long they can use it before suffering severe consequences. Taking Bakugo and his exploding quirk for an example again, he will be plunging his hands in boiling water, pull them out to explode, and repeat. The idea is that they will expand his sweat glands so he can make bigger explosions.

Like we need that, but I digress.

Basically, it's torture to make people stronger!

Don't worry: The parents support it!

And they do it all day! This is why I like not having a quirk. I don't have to suffer! They train from sunrise to sundown, and once it is time for them to quit, they have to make their own food unless they want to starve.

This is for a week...yeah, that gets boring real quick. Luckily, the cat heroes, who I can now tell you, are four cats called the Wild Wild Pussy Cats, make night games for everyone who passed the exam! Those who failed it has to suffer Aizawa and Blood King (class 1-B teacher, but he is irrelevant) to learn what they did wrong. Sounds painful.

Well, that is what is supposed to happen.

SCENE!

* * *

Tonight is the forest fright game, and I am excited to see some teens piss their pants! Maybe I'll join in the scaring myself. I have killed some people before, so frightening people should be more natural than running my mouth! I'll help both classes because none of them are scary.

As I'm about to join the forest team, my phone buzzes. I told everyone in my crew not to text me unless it is an emergency, so hopefully, this isn't too bad.

I check the text I received.

**Undercover #420: **They are attacking.

. . .

SO I DON'T GET TO SCARE THE STUDENTS, BUT COMPLETE STRANGERS?! THIS IS BULL SHITZU! NOW I HAVE TO GO DEAL WITH THOSE DUMBASSES SO THE STUDENTS DON'T DIE FROM STUPIDITY!

"Kitty kitty, can we wait ten minutes before starting this? I just want to check the premises first." What else am I suppose to say? 'Uh, yeah, my totally legal connection just told me we are getting attacked, so get your paws inside.' I might as well be the attacker. Thankfully, the cat doesn't question my request.

I check to make sure my yo-yos are in my pocket, climb up the tree, and start hopping through the branches like a monkey. It may seem inconvenient AF to stick to the high grounds for someone like me, and you're absolutely right. However, it's also better to be hidden rather than be in plain sight.

Learn your enemies before you get reckless.

A couple of minutes into my jungle gym experience, I slow down when I hear voices.

"I smell human flesh." I mean, if that's your thing-

That's when I notice a gas in the near distance. Without hesitation, I approach quickly. Based on the gas direction, it's coming from a center point. Whether that be a quirk or a bomb, I have no clue.

I take a deep breath and run in. I have probably a minute to pull this-

**BANG!**

Thank above for my gut instinct to move!

"I see you! I don't know why you're trying! I can see your every move! Kurogiri, get him!" Oh, this guy. I've heard of him but never faced him. Mustard. Like the condiment but shit.

Obviously, otherwise, he would be in jail by now because I beat his ass. Not in the kinky way before you ask. However, I'm more worried about Kurogiri. They have a plan here.

Wait. Wouldn't the gas interfere with Kurogiri? Or is Kurogiri having a fucking session with the gas by coming in? I promise these are important questions!

Furthermore, did they expect me to come? Possibly.

Though, I guess I should get out of the situation first.

My idiotic ass zooms into the gas despite it getting denser the closer I get to the center.

**BANG!**

That shot grazes my shoulder, but I see my victim in might sight that looks like Mustard should be in an apocalypse movie. He's wearing a gas mask and bodysuit for fuck sakes! Eh, it doesn't matter. I kick the gun out of Mustard's hand, spin around, and kick him in the head to knock him out.

Okay. I can breathe again. Next, I need to find Kurogiri-

Nevermind, I found him...beneath my fucking feet! FUCK ME! I know for a fact that I can't swing myself out of this because that takes too long, so I reach for my pocket knife and throw it. Not anywhere in particular, but I just need it to be left behind. Hopefully, Aizawa is smart enough to find it and figure out that I got fucking kidnapped under his guidance!

Not that he would care about that last part, but he should care about the rest due to Eri!

Welp.

ALLEY WOOP!

INTO THE UNKNOWN!


	16. Chapter 16

**WARNING - Mentioned Cannibalism, Violence**

* * *

"INTO THE UNKNOWN!- OH, SHIT!"

Imagine this being your first words when you come into a villain hideout that you have no information on. I'll tell you based on first-hand information that this is a dumb idea. A very dumb idea.

Like, my kind of dumb idea.

When Kurogiri gives birth to me through the portal, I'm thankfully not being dropped anywhere high, where I will break my beautiful muscular legs. Instead, it is somewhere short. I manage to land correctly on a wooden floor and instantly look up to take in my surroundings.

. . .

HOME SWEET HOME!

Okay, that's dramatic.

We are in an all-wooden bar with only a couple of people. This has to be their hideout due to the lack of customers and windows.

Basically, they can murder me right here without anybody knowing it as they walk past unless they hear the screams of torture. Even then, we are probably in the trash part of town. If this is the kind of shit you are into, this is the place for you!

I am not, though.

Alright, so who's here? We have groping hand boy, Kurogiri, the guy who is into cannibalism, beef-head, and that's it-

**THUMP.**

That's gas boy's body crashing beside me. He's probably alive thinking about it. Eh, I'll stomp his skull in a moment.

Groping hand boy is Shigaraki Tomura, the leader of the League of Legends group. From what I heard from Father Stain, he tried to use Stain for his plan to fuck up Hosu. That's why Stain and Nomus were in the same place at the same time. Anyway, Stain was able to take both Shigaraki and Kurogiri without a problem, so I do have a chance despite the other idiots here. Shigaraki has a decaying quirk where if he touches something, it turns to dust in his hands. Unfortunately, Stain is crappy AF about giving me info, so I'm currently assuming that it requires five-point contact like a lot of other quirks. Shigaraki also has a similar goal to Stain where he wants to screw over the present, but he wants to do that by killing All Might. That's why the man was at the USJ; it was to kill All Might.

Shigaraki certainly isn't wrong to believe that killing All Might will screw us over. The hero society relies heavily on him. Kill him, and all hell will break loose.

Kurogiri is the one person I respect in the group purely because he is in the Mafia. Even then, I would still respect him because he has manners, unlike the rest of these losers. He's wearing a suit for christ sakes! Everyone else is either wearing PJs or workout gear!

The cannibalistic guy is Moonfish. He's a unique guy because he recently got broke out of prison by this group, I assume. He wears a fucking straitjacket, and the only thing showing is his teeth because of his quirk. His teeth literally grow swords! He can stab a hoe with them! He doesn't need to see! Fuck, he doesn't even need his fucking arms because they are tied down! I'm saying not to underestimate him. He knows how to fight.

We have not seen beef-head at all at this point. Beef-head is Muscular, a buffed up version of Bakugo missing an eye. Like, he has the same hair-color, attitude, and everything! The only difference is that this is a villain, and the quirk is something actually to worry about.

Before you ask, yes. I am calling Bakugo's 'all-powerful' quirk irrelevant. TAKE THAT SOCIETY!

Back on the relevant topic, Muscular's quirk is Muscle Augmentation. He can make his muscles fibers stronger to the point that they can't be contained in his skin. This may seem minor, but let me tell you the benefits of this quirk. With this quirk, he can make himself stronger and faster to the point I believe he can be one of the few people that might have a chance against All Might. He would still lose due to All Might's experience, but if the quirk is in the right hands, it can cause some serious damage that even Flex Seal can't fix. I believe he can use these fibers as a defensive mechanism as well. If I were to stab him with a knife, it would hurt, but it wouldn't do a lot of damage to him. I know him because he is known as 'The Carnal Murderer.' Muscular has killed some bitches without being arrested.

Gas-Boy is Mustard. You know how he works, but he's going to be irrelevant in a moment. Now that you have the scene let's continue.

I make the most logical move at the moment: I put my foot on top of Mustard's head before stomping on his helmet, smashing it along with his head in the process. Thank above the blood will stay mostly in his helmet - nevermind, it's running on the floor. I'll step back from there.

This may seem impulsive, and that's partially true because this is me. The reason I did this is that if Mustard was to wake up during my communication/fight and uses his quirk, I'm fucked. This is especially true because I am in an enclosed room.

Killing Mustard actually worked out in my favor. Moonfish is on the ground cleaning up the remains. This isn't personally my cup of tea, but if it keeps him busy, alright.

"So this is who Virus sent? I don't recognize him unless he is Virus. Wouldn't surprise me for how he arrived," Shigaraki says with a sinister voice as he scratches his neck. That's unhygienic.

Of course, I snap, "OFFENDED! I AM IZUKU MIDORIYA, VIRUS'S RIGHT-HAND MAN!" I ain't going to give him the whole truth obviously. Yet. I'll give him the news when I feel the moment is right.

"Whatever. It proves that we have a mole in the League, so which one of you is it?!" That's one way of figuring that out. At least we know that Shigaraki is kind of smart. I am only saying kind of because he picked me up of all people, and my people are more than capable of defending themselves anyway. This is especially true for the main squad.

Wait... picking me up was the best decision as I don't have my gear. I might have trouble here. Okay, Izuku, get your big boy undies on and figure out how to get the fuck out of this situation.

"You already know I am a mole!" I deserve a whack upside the head for that one. I really am a dumbass. A smart dumbass, but my dumbassery is shining through like a light in hell.

"Do you have any idea of how to shut up, brat?!" Shouldn't this be the time for Shigaraki to kill me? He has Muscular to kill me right now, especially as the bar is small AF. The only reason why he wouldn't is that he doesn't want the place destroyed.

"No. If I did, my life would be so much easier! Are you going to do anything to me, or am I just going to sit here?"

Yeah, that triggers him because the kid tries to attack me! I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS DISRESPECT!

The moment Shiggy is close enough, I punch him hard in the face. A loud clunk later, and he is on the ground bleeding onto the poor floor.

Wait, is he alive?

I bend down and reluctantly check for a pulse. Oh, he is! A moment of thinking later, I reach down, grab his head, and twist it until I hear a satisfying snap fill the room.

Well, Groper certainly doesn't have a pulse now!

Before you ask, yes. I just killed the whole point of the story in the last four lines or shit like that.

CAN YOU BLAME ME?! LOOK, THE WHOLE PROBLEM WITH EVERY ANIME IS THAT THE CHARACTER ALWAYS FEELS SYMPATHY AT THE LAST SECOND, AND THE PERSON HAS A CHANCE TO GET FREE! EITHER THAT OR THE CHARACTER IS JUST AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT! I'M SAVING YOU GUYS SO MUCH READING TIME RIGHT NOW, SO YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME!

WE EVEN ALREADY HAVE OUR DISPOSABLE BIN MOONFISH-wait. I should kill him too. I mean, he's on the floor innocent anyway so...

STOMP STOMP STOMP!

Alright, so Moonfish is down!

"Seriously, Izuku?" Kurogiri says with a sigh. To be honest, I think he's more concerned about the floor than the actual people. I can't blame him. Who wants to babysit a psych ward and a guy who always wants to be touched? Certainly not me!

"I don't know what you expected."

"You know who the real leader of the League of Villains is, yes?"

"All for One? Yes. He can spread his legs for me now because I will beat his ass." Not literally because I wouldn't want anything to do with him in general, but it's just to say he sucks compared to me.

"Your ego is going to be the death of you."

"No, my stupidity is going to be the death of me." Kurogiri simply sighs at that statement.

Then, static can be heard from the television for a moment. Then, it becomes clear as day.

**"I should have known you were the mole, Kurogiri," **Says a voice through the television.

"Hold the phone, who dis?" I ask with the most disrespect I can muster. I'm practically made of the shit, so it works out well.

**"You should know, Virus." **So this guy knows who I am.

"...God, is that you?"

**"For how organized your yakuza-"**

"MAFIA! GET IT RIGHT, BITCH!"

**"is, you act so arrogant." **I feel rejected.

"I don't think there is a particular way you need to act to be a vigilante. There isn't a requirements list. You just kind of do it. As long as you have a motive, you're good." I never thought of it until it came out of my mouth like a tsunami, but it's true.

See, Aizawa?! Sometimes rambling about random bullshit does get you somewhere in life!

**"Maybe you aren't a lost cause...I believe you know what I have in my arsenal. I expect you and Kurogiri to meet me. If you don't, I will send all the Nomu out to destroy the city."**

"Um, when?"

**"Now."**

"Fuck, you impatient bitch. Let's go, Kurogiri." If nothing else, Kurogiri and I can appear and leave within the snap. It still falls under the lines, so he can't say jack shit.

Too bad, this is the number one villain who is 300 years old with way too many quirks. He can probably beat my ass faster than Aizawa can cheer for my death.

**"Bring Muscular with you."**

"I could or-"

I don't hesitate when I swipe my knife out (bitch, I have multiple on me.) and throw it directly into Muscular's eye. I zoom over to him and stab him in the head to guarantee his death. It'll make my life easier later.

"Okay, we can leave now, Kurogiri!"

Kurogiri sighs as he teleports us.

* * *

All hell breaks loose.

"IZUKU, GET DOWN!"

I listen.

I apprehend Kurogiri surround me.

**BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

I cover my head, muttering for my glasses to get help.

I hold my breath and close my eyes when dust appears around me.

I hear crumbling.

Kurogiri's presence disappears, leaving me unprotected, but I remain there.

Then, silence.

It takes a moment before groans, and loud laughter fills the air.

I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and stand up.

Wherever the fuck, I was, it's gone now. All that's left is a valley. I see a perfect circle of nothingness, and then a city surrounding us. How many people died because of this? I don't even see Kurogiri-

Oh...

He's gone. I notice his neck brace beside me, holding nothing. Fuck.

**"That's what happens when someone disobeys me. I don't kill just one person. I kill the whole family." **

No shit, sherlock!

Okay, settle down, Izuku. You need to get revenge for Kurogiri while remaining an asshole. Actually, for every person who died in this mess, but they are kind of irrelevant so. Either way, you can do this.

I have to. Otherwise, the ending will be boring.

Jeez, I really need to stop breaking the 4th wall.

I turn to face All for One (potato with life support and suit), and I see a small army of five Nomus surround him. Three of them are the regular Nomus we saw at the Hosu thing, but one has wings, and another has literal chainsaws coming from his back.

Basically, I'm fucked! If I had my gear, I have more of a chance, but right now, I can't fight them. The best thing to do is to distract them until and/or Dabi arrive.

Or heroes. Those should be arriving soon if they see this.

All for One will probably screw me over in the fight as well. He is more than willing to pull shit out of his ass (does he have one? I mean, he has no eyes so...) to make sure I lose. His main goal is to get out and see who he can make as his new little slave now. However, All for One is probably going to attempt to get rid of me to make sure I don't kill his next successor.

It's also an excellent move to fuck over the Mafia.

**"I am willing to make a deal with you, Virus,"** All for One says when I don't respond quickly enough. Oh boy.

I pull out my yo-yos and prepare to fight, "What, Mister Potato?"

**"If you become my new successor, I will give protection to every person in the Mafia. I will also give you full control of the League of Villains." **

"Are you serious, fam? That's like the dumbest move you can make."

**"I assume that is a no. You could have been more powerful than me, Virus. A pity, really. Oh, well."**

I move before a plan comes to mind. The moment I saw All for One turning away from me, I ran through the Nomus somehow (no demands, probably), swing my yo-yo to wrap around his leg, and swing myself upward.

**SLAM!**

I don't get the chance to bring myself even halfway when All for One looks down at me and punches the air. I feel my arm slip from the grip as an air blast forces me to crash into the ground. I manage to not hit my head. Bless God for that.

**"Nomu. Attack."**

THAT'S REALLY NOT GOOD!

I barely manage to roll out of the way of an arm slamming down on me when I get swept up by the flying Nomu.

FUCK ME WITH A CHAINSAW-

**RING RING RING!**

WHO THE FUCK IS CALLING ME NOW OF ALL TIMES?!

_"Emo Hobo is calling. Would you like to answer?"_

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I reach into my shoes, ignoring the claws in my chest to snatch my pocket knife.

Aizawa's dumbass voice fills the air, _"Where the hell are you?"_

"I might as well be in hell because I am certainly not in the forest anymore! I got teleported! Keep the kids in!"

_"Are you kidding me?"_

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I KID ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?! I JUST WANTED TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF STUDENTS! NOT THE ENTIRE WORLD!" I snap as I get my pocket knife and chop the legs, forcing me to drop.

_"Who are you even fighting?"_

"THE NUMBER ONE VILLAIN! NOW CAN YOU HANG UP?! I'M A DEAD BOY WALKING!"

_"Stay safe."_

**Click.**

I see the mass of Nomus below me, clucking like chickens. My first idea is to just dive down there and stab one of their heads, but that's a dumb idea for two reasons.

A. Some of these guys can regenerate.

B. There are a fucking chainsaws down there!

That leads to my next idea: get rid of the flying bitch.

The fantastic news is that I still have a yo-yo, so I can pull this off. Based on colors (literally, not to be racist), I am willing to bet my life that the flying one can't regenerate. Hopefully, my prediction is right.

I throw my yo-yo at the birdie and manage to get it wrapped tight around the neck. I fly up to the struggling pussy and stab its head with all my might. I pull the knife back, and blood splatters all over me. It screeches. It continues to try and fight me off, but I'm not going down without a fight. I notice it isn't healing itself.

BITCH, I WAS RIGHT! I AM SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER!

I grit my teeth as I stab it again, this time in the brain over and over. Blood decorates it and me like ketchup. That's when I notice it's not precisely flying anymore. It's a crash landing, thots! I crawl on it's back to take the brute of the crash. I don't think jumping on it is a good idea. I just need to be ready to zoom when it does.

**THUMP!**

MOVE MOVE MOVE-!

I hear slashes which cause me to stop. When I turn around, I see them all crash to the ground.

"What the hell did you get yourself into, kid?"

OH MY GOSH, THERE'S HELP!

"FATHER STAIN! SOMEBODY HERE HAS COME TO SAVE ME!"

Stain looks unamused, "The others will be here soon. For now, we need to take down All for One before those creatures get out of my quirk. Here." Stain throws something at me, and I make sure to catch it. BLESS GOD HIMSELF BECAUSE IT'S MY CLAWS! FUCK BEING LEGAL! I AM OFFICIALLY FULLY ILLEGAL! I EVEN FIXED THE BASTARDS AFTER STAIN FUCKED THEM! I put the knife and yo-yo, and I put those beautiful gloves on. I also throw my glasses to the side because there is blood on them, and that's kind of inconvenient.

"Thanks! However, you are psycho for believing we can get him in less than ten minutes, maybe even five."

"We just need his blood."

"AND YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO LET US NEAR HIM?! IF NOTHING ELSE, WE SHOULD JUST KEEP HIS ATTENTION UNTIL THE OTHER HEROES ARRIVE!"

"We just need to keep him on his toes-"

**"I'd like to see you two try."**

"Okay, nevermind mind. Let's go, Stain!" I exclaim as I zoom at him. It doesn't even take a second for Stain to follow.

I decide that, since I am faster than Stain, to go around All for One so that we can take him from two different sides. I make sure to turn on my electricity before approaching from the opposite side of Stain.

We attack, but we are easily thrown back by the stupid air blast. Even when we try again, we just get pushed back.

Recover quick. Fight back. Recover. Fight. Knife thrown here. Claws shot there.

Even when I manage to double attack due to how fast I am compared to Stain, it just doesn't work. I pull my yo-yo out and try to grab him, but I have to let go to avoid becoming a fucking slinky.

**"I'm getting bored of this."**

"IZUKU, GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

I stop approaching and throw myself to the side to avoid All for One's OP trash arm. I avoid the first hit.

I didn't have time to avoid the second.

**SMASH!**

**SNAP!**

My body gets thrown into the nearest building that isn't near at all, causing me to crash through a window and multiple walls until it stops halfway into one. I can't even resist when my body drops on the floor like a ragdoll.

Damn, it fucking hurts.

I can't give up!

Slowly, I set my arms to lift my torso, but my body gives me the bird as I cough up blood onto the ground.

I CAN'T GIVE UP!

I look up, but everything is too blurry.

**I CAN'T GIVE UP!**

I hold my torso up and bring my legs under me despite the pain that spikes.

_**"I CAN'T GIVE UP!"**_

I thrust myself forward and start running through the building to escape. I need to rely on my instinct. Despite my heart exploding in my ears, I manage to get out just in time to see the Nomus starting to approach Stain, who has crashed as well.

I let my legs carry me until I suddenly need to stop to avoid getting burned by blue flames. Of course, I should appreciate the idea that more help is here but...

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING THAT SHIT, DADDY!" I scream towards the direction the flames came from.

The flames disperse to reveal Dabi and Compress, the two people I needed!

"Izuku, you are hopeless! Get to work dealing with All for One before you die!" Dabi demands as he burns the little bitches called Nomu.

"YADA YADA! MR. COMPRESS, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH AN ATTACK?!"

Within the snap of a finger, Compress stands beside me, "Yes, Virus?"

"I need you to shove me in your quirk, throw me at him, and pop me out so that I can attack."

"You realize how likely that plan is going to fail, right?"

"Yeah, but I need to do this for everyone."

"I am taking no liability for this idea."

"And I don't expect you to."

The next thing I know, I am in 's mystery world. Well, it's all black, so I guess it isn't much of a mystery. Now that I am in a chill world, I nearly collapse from the pain. Thank above adrenaline exists. I need to be ready.

Waiting...NOW!

As soon as I appear back into the real world, I see I'm way closer to All for One now than I have been the entire time. Immediately, I dive in. All for One tries to blast me off, but I ain't letting that happen. I shoot my claws at him, managing a successful attachment.

I grin psychotically,

_**"I'M NOT LETTING YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS, ALL FOR ONE!"**_

I let the claws pull me towards him. I rip his suit with one of my nails and punch his mask to destroy it. With my other hand, I electrocute him while stabbing his chest. I'm surprised I got this far.

This whole exchange lasts five seconds.

A powerful punch smashes into my chest, filling the air with multiple snaps as I fly back. I cough blood heavily, especially when someone manages to catch me.

"Stay down, Izuku. You're going to kill yourself if you go in again if you don't die now, " Oh, that's Stain. I try to fight him off.

"I don't care! I'm going all the way!"

"Izuku!"

Suddenly, a voice interrupts us,

**"DO NOT FEAR FOR I AM HERE!"**

FINALLY, SOMEONE THAT STANDS A CHANCE!

FRICKING ALL MIGHT! FINALLY! I KNOW YOU WERE IN ANOTHER TIME, BUT IT STILL TOOK YOU A WHILE!

I feel myself getting moved, and I try to watch the fight as the two scream and exchange blows.

Stain snaps, "All Might has this, Izuku. Right now, we need to make sure you don't die."

I hum, "Yeah, I'm starting to notice the pain a lot more." That certainly isn't a lie at this point.

"Stay awake."

I can't really see at this point. I can only feel constant pain from being moved like a broken bed after fucking.

I hear Compress and Dabi's voices when they come over, but I can't understand what they said. Soon, Himiko's and Spinner's voices join the mirage.

Then, I stop moving as I feel myself being set down along with loud voices around me.

Everything is a blur anyway, so there's no point in trying to stay awake.

For once quiet, I pass out.


	17. Chapter 17

Where the fuck am I?

Heaven?

Hell?

What am I talking about? With my luck, God and Satan probably made their first agreement together by saying I can just stay on Earth forever.

'Alright, God, here's the tea: we keep Izuku down there because he is going to screw up our world either way.'

'For once, I agree with you, Satan.'

Don't ask how I was created in the first place. For all I know, I was a one-night stand between the two. I just know they probably regret their decisions now when they look down upon me.

Jeez, I am so far gone if I'm talking about this.

I need to focus on the facts.

Fact number one: I'm still alive. I believe that if I were dead, my body wouldn't feel like it's trying to have a divorce with me. I kind of can't die anyway because Eri would be disappointed if I did.

Off-topic, but can Eri bring people back to life with her quirk? Wrong thing to be considering, and I'm certainly not planning on throwing a body in front of her and saying 'use your quirk on it and see if it comes back to life.' I deny she would have a problem with it considering the family she has, but I digress.

Moving on.

Fact number two: I can hear the fucking beeping of a heart machine. My god, it's pissing me off. I just want to reach over and punch it.

Wait, maybe I can. Just give me a moment-

"Oh fuck, that hurts like a buttcheek on a stick!"

"Izuku! You're finally awake!" A familiar child voice fills the air as I painfully feel her crawl in the bed with me. I open my eyes (ow, fuck my eyes) to see Eri beside me with a fussy look.

"Hey queen, what's up?" Besides the fact that I am pretty sure she is about to beat my ass for getting hurt. Don't ask me how she will manage it; she just will.

"You got hurt. Again," Eri says in such a harsh tone with her arms crossed. I might be scared of her now!

"To be fair, it wasn't on my to-do list."

"Excuses, excuses!" Jeez, she really has my attitude now.

"They aren't excuses if they are facts!"

"I still say they are excuses!"

Then, with my trash luck, my mom gets involved, " I can't help but agree with her, dear."

I sigh, " It's not like I go in and be like, 'hey, let's fight the world's top villain!' I usually plan before doing something like that!"

"I'm surprised you didn't have a plan."

"I did! Just under different circumstances! You know, like actually going in their base and killing him while he is asleep! Not start a fucking nuclear fight with him!" It's Mom's turn to sigh.

"I'm surprised you didn't actually do that."

"EXCUSE ME, BUT I HAPPEN TO BE VERY LOGICAL PERSON!"

"Sweetheart, I found you in a strip-bar drunk when you were supposed to be on an undercover mission."

"I don't know what you expect at that point. Anyway, can you explain to me what happened while I was out?"

"We lost you twice."

"Expected. You should know the upper beings don't want me by now, Mom!"

"You owe me a lot for the emotional trauma you put me through, young mister!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED TO BE BEAT UP!"

"You should have brought help as I told you to!"

"They were busy on other missions! I was making sure all grounds were covered, and we are a little understaffed. Moving forward, next!"

"Recovery Girl was not able to heal you too much. She got your bones together, so they aren't shattered like they were."

"I don't remember that feeling." Mom is just ignoring me at this point.

"All Might won. The classes have returned, and they built a dorm system for all of them to stay in. Aizawa asked to see you as you were awake. You texted him, right, Eri?" Eri, who has been glaring at me the whole time, smiles brightly at Mom and nods. Great, I have to deal with him.

Wait, did Eri text him while looking at me? I see the phone in her lap- oh shit, she did. I AM SO PROUD!

Oh, and I guess yay to All Might for winning. Even if he didn't win, I would have defeated All for One eventually, so he made my life easier.

"And you are officially the most wanted vigilante/villain in the world. Good job, sweetie!"

"Uh, they are worried about me?"

"You took down the top villain in the world."

"True. Alright, when can I expect Hobo?"

"He has to escape his class first. However, you have other people who miss you too."

Like God has planned my life to be a show, the door bursts open, and the whole squad plus Stain comes out!

And what is the first thing I get? A slap on the face from Himiko!

"You had us so worried, Izuku!" She says as she sits beside me.

Obviously, I do not know when to hold my attitude back, "So I heard - OUCH!"

"YOU PULL THAT OFF AGAIN, AND I WILL STAB YOU MYSELF AND DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD! GOT IT?!"

"Kinky~" Apparently, that's the wrong answer as she pulls a knife out and brings it way too close to my neck, "DABI, HELP ME!"

The brat doesn't, "You brought this on yourself. I will burn you slowly if you do it while Himiko does that. Spinner and Stain will join in the fiasco as well."

"WHY IS THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST ME?!"

Stain looks between Himiko and Dabi, "I told you it wouldn't work. He has no qualms to dying."

Himiko turns to him with her stupid puppy eyes, "But what about Eri?"

Okay, this I have to interrupt,

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE! PLOT ARMOR WOULD JUST BRING ME BACK TO LIFE FOR HER!"

.

.

.

"Okay, I might have overdone the pain medication if you are hallucinating," Mom says as she grabs the clipboard to check everything.

"BUT IT'S TRUE!" All I get in response is writing sounds. OOF!

Stain decides to cover the awkward silence, "You heard what happened with All Might?" Oh boy, what did Donkey Kong do now?

"All I know is that he won. Spill the tea, dad!" You know someone is used to your bullshit when they don't even react to you calling them dad.

"He got injured to the point of retirement. Everyone saw his true form." He looks kind of depressed at that He did like All Might, so I can only partially blame him.

"Oof. That means the crime rate has risen, huh?"

Compress takes over as he is our statistics man of the squad, "Dramatically. Fewer people are willing to join us, some have rebelled, and we are short-staffed."

"What about the Robo guards?"

"Being destroyed, so we need you to fix them."

"Hmm, I wonder if I can get Hatsume in the Mafia." For those curious who that is, Hatsume is a female version of me basically, so if I can get her on, the world is fucked. I saw her at the Sports Festival, and she did some bloody fantastic shit despite only being a support course student. She made it to the finals, so her inventions are something. I can already hear Dabi grumbling about the idea.

"It would probably help. Maybe some of the hero course students as well."

"You really think Aizawa is going to let me do that?"

"Probably not, but we can try!"

"The worst part is that you aren't wrong, Compress."

"We need everything we can get at this point, Izuku. The show must go on after all."

"True."

After that, we had a casual chat with everyone until they had to get back to work, including Mom, so that left me with Eri.

I guess I should talk to her, "Hey, queen?" No response because she is being a stubborn brat, "I'm sorry that happened, but you know how life works. This is the shit I risk to protect the world, especially you. Besides, I did come back, didn't I? Sure, I was kind of broken, but I can be fixed in no time!"

Eri faces me and nods sadly, "Can you promise to try and not get hurt?"

I offer a bright smile, "I shall do my best!"

"Thank you."

"No problem! Anything else you need to lecture me over before Aizawa gets his ass here?"

"He's been worried about you."

"That's possible? Alright then. I can deal with that when the issue arrives. I meant more of you." She's quiet for a moment until she sends me a baller of a question.

"Hey, Izu, when can I join the Mafia?"

"You are in the Mafia, sweets."

"I mean going on patrol." If I had water, I would have spat it out.

"Is that something you want to do?"

"Uh-huh! I want to protect people just like you, Izuku!" Uh, if you want a realistic description of what Eri said, it would be ' I want to beat the shit out of people just like you, Izuku!'

Welp. At least she doesn't want to be a stripper!

"Yeah, you have to wait a few more years. I ain't sending a kid on the streets. If you want to help, I can teach you how to boss people around at Walmart so I can focus more on helping people. How about that?"

"Okay!" Most people are probably thinking that nobody is going to respect Eri. However, she is so damn adorable that they will respect her plus more. Everyone will bow down to her and make her happy as can be! At least, that's my theory, and as a certified genius, this should be fact.

The good news is that I got Eri settled down, and we chat about how to run Walmart. To a six-year-old, yes. Problem?

The bad news is when the door opens up to reveal Aizawa. Okay, maybe it isn't the worst news in the world on the cover, but when the man is asking for you specifically? Yeah, that's when I worry. For myself, mind you.

Aizawa looks between us, then at Eri, and says, "Hey kid, can you leave us alone for a bit?" Oh fuck. Eri nods and runs to find something to do. OH FUCK. QUICK, DISTRACT!

"Hi, Aizawa! Like what you did with your hair!" This is the first thing I come up with. Seriously? I am expecting him to give me that normal 'I hate life' face I always receive, but that's not it. I only get a sigh!

WHERE IS AIZAWA, AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!

Quietly, he walks over to me and sits in the chair beside, "Glad to see you are still your usual self."

"What did you expect? An identity crisis?" He glares at me. Okay, it's him. Maybe he's drugged. Thinking about it, Aizawa does look more rugged than usual.

"I was expecting something. You went through shit, whether you realize it or not."

"To be fair, I did get the shit beat out of me. I'll deal with the trauma after the fact- wait, why would I have trauma? I casually kill people on the daily. I get beat up once in a while. I went against a fucking Nomu, for Christ Sakes! How is this different?"

"That's just building, kid. You nearly died. With the injuries you have, I would be surprised if you don't have permanent damage. One day, you will snap, Izuku. This isn't what I came to talk to you about. Recovery Girl can tell you that."

"Oof. Well, why are you here?"

"I'm sorry." That's the last thing I expected.

"Uh, what are you apologizing for? You were not involved in either situation."

"I could have helped."

"Excuse me, but you have a class to take care of first. I am just the badass teacher that protects them. You're just emotional because you see a broken kid! Actually, I didn't know you had emotions, let alone a solid amount to care about me."

"If I didn't care about you, I would have arrested you, brat."

"Good to know. But am I right?"

"Yes."

"Alright then! We are good to go!"

Aizawa shakes his head, standing up, "Need anything before I go?"

"Stay! I'm lonely!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I'm desperate for conversation. I need the tea."

"Tea? What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you don't know that language. Oof. What's going on with you and Mic?"

"None of your business."

"ARE YOU DATING?! DID MY TRAUMA FINALLY ADD TO SOMETHING?!" The dumbass decides it's a great idea to steer me off-track.

"What do you plan on doing now?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure my story arch is about to end because I killed the main characters of the story, so I'm just blabbering to waste time while finishing the plot."

"She wasn't kidding when she said she overdid the pain meds."

"IT'S TRUE! I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION, SO ANSWER MINE!"

"No. Take care of yourself, kid." The asshole has the nerve to leave!

"GET BACK HERE- OH FUCK!"

Okay, maybe trying to get out of bed with practically every bone broken isn't a smart idea.

I'm pretty sure Aizawa left, so I'm stuck on the floor.

This floor is my new home.

Oof.

I'll need a bleach bath whenever the hell I get off this floor.

Welp, see ya!

* * *

**Epilogue**

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LISTENERS!

I AM YOUR HOST PRESENT MIC, AND I AM HERE TO UPDATE YOU ON IZUKU AND HIS FAMILY!

I BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME!

To give the ending some spice, I decided to completely take Izuku's spot because I have learned the art of pettiness from him!

Without further ado, let's start!

Izuku somehow managed to heal from his injuries, but he didn't escape unscathed. His mobility has suffered quite a bit from it, so he keeps his distance in fights now. That's not to say he can't hold up on his own! It's just his body is 'trying to have a divorce with him.'

His words, not mine.

Nezu tried to get him to become a hero, but Izuku wants to do what he can without the law, so he declined.

Not that he can follow the law anyway. He's wanted for way more besides his vigilante work.

Despite everything, Izuku got his shit together, and he helps where he can. Sometimes, he even sneaks into UA to help out like the idiot he is!

As for the Mafia, they are a tremendous help for the crime rate. It's still high, but it's certainly better than without them. Mafia is just great.

Walmart is giving me content for my radio show, so thanks, Izuku, for your drama!

Eri has taken over the Walmart where she can, and let me tell you that she is scary as a boss. She's too cute for anyone to want to deny.

I have a feeling Eri is going to be dangerous once she becomes an active member of the Mafia.

Speaking of members of the Mafia, Kurogiri passed away protecting Izuku. I'm pretty sure Izuku feels guilty about it despite brushing it off because Izuku didn't even make a joke at the funeral, so that says it all. He even did a thing where he took over an Endeavor sign with Kurogiri's face and wrote 'RIP Agent 420.'

And the important news of them all: SHOUTA AND I ARE TOGETHER!

A couple of days after the fight, he randomly asked me out! I'm pretty sure reality hit him that we aren't going to live forever, so he asked me out!

It's weird. I guess Izuku traumatized him enough.

Anyway.

Slowly, we are recovering from the impact, but when we do, we will be stronger than ever with Izuku and the Mafia on our side!

"MIC, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I should have known I couldn't get this past Izuku.

"I'm just telling our viewers bye!"

"HOLD THE DIDDLY WIDDLY ITTY BITTY MOTHER FUCKING PHONE! SINCE WHEN IN THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE 4TH WALL BREAKING ABILITIES?!"

"The whole time?"

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING IN THE STORY IF YOU TOLD ME BEFORE!"

"EXCUSE ME?! ARE YOU CALLING ME IRRELEVANT?!"

"No. I am calling you a minor character."

"How did you get three stories about you?"

"Honest to Jesus and Lord and God himself, I don't know."

"I'm concerned."

"Me too...what were we doing?"

"Since you are here, tell your fans bye."

"OH SHIT, BYE, Y'ALL! SEE Y'ALL, LIKE, NEVER AGAIN!"

"So rude. Sorry about him, guys. Bye!"

* * *

**Author's Note**

BITCH, I AM FINISHED WITH THIS BOOK! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I don't have anything against this book. It's just I lost inspiration, and it went down the slippery slide called - there isn't even a name for it. It's just that far gone.

Anyway, thank you for reading this for as long as you did. You really should not have, but you did anyway, so congrats.

If you are curious about my other works, there is 'When All Hell Breaks Loose,' which is this Izuku, but he becomes a hero. There is also 'Hell is a Mess' where I do prompts sometimes from people on this Izuku.

I also have a couple of other story ideas that will stick with comedy similar to this, but I will be extending from the MHA universe for a little break before coming back and destroy it again in a way I meant to do it the first time but got off track.

Basically, I am about to destroy another fandom.

As I said, thank you for reading, and see you later!

Maybe!

Bye-bye!


End file.
